pH Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 No sorry, you ve got to hear them played inside a hall, amazing sound! Heard them many times, inside and out. To me, the highland pipes are an instrument for playing outside - they are too powerful for indoors. Uilleann pipes or Northumberland pipes are for inside. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 Heard them many times, inside and out. To me, the highland pipes are an instrument for playing outside - they are too powerful for indoors. Uilleann pipes or Northumberland pipes are for inside. Too true. I just can't light my baccy, if I use a Uileann pipe outdoors. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
EHertsGER Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Harry was facing the ultimate challenge. John Mckenroe, the tyrannical Wimbledon king was clearly a man possessed. Harry had exhausted all the spells that Hermione had prepared, but nothing was working against the speed and agility of McKenroe. Harry’s quidditch expertise was useless at Wimbledon. If only he had bothered to attend Snape’s after potions tennis classes. Snape had been five times Hogwarts Tennis Champion. “That’s it !” Thought Harry. I have the polyjuice potion, and the Tennis balls from Hogwarts are bound to have some traces of Snape on them ( although Harry recoiled at this thought) . Harry took his chance at the break, while the Wimbledon crowd were distracted, Harry slipped some polyjuice potion into his Robinson’s Barley Water and gripped his tennis ball. He could feel the familiar sickness coming over him. The strange sensation as his hair grew long and dank. His body grew tight into his tennis kit and his face elongated. Now he was Snape, and he walked back to the baseline. McEnroe had not noticed as he returned to his side of the court. McKenroe bounced the ball twice, preparing to launch his thunderous serve, he looked up at his opponent after the second bounce in that oh so familiar manner, but them something snapped, his face reddened and angered as his serve routine was halted. He let out a piercing scream for all the world to hear hear.. “ You cannot be Sirius!... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted October 20, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 20, 2017 ^^^^ Especially as he was called Severus... Sirius was Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted October 20, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) I thought Sirius was a cybernetics corporation... 'Share and Enjoy' Edited October 20, 2017 by Ian J. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 20, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 20, 2017 I thought Sirius was a cybernetics corporation... 'Share and Enjoy' "Go and stick your head in a pig." David Cameron couldn't even get that right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Today the internet went down. I decided to talk to the wife. She seems like a nice person. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Co-tr-Paul Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Thought Sirius was the dog star.... ? Uillean pipes rule ! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 The other day I dated two anorexics. Two birds, one stone. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Thomas went to the zoo. He saw a baguette in a cage. - - - - - - - It was bread in captivity. Hat and coat time. Goodnight. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Did you know that drinking tea makes you more violent than drinking beer? Last night at the pub, I drank fourteen pints of beer whilst the wife stayed at home and drank a cup of tea. I arrived home at half past three, all calm and placid. The wife went berserk. Moral. If you cannot handle it. Keep Of the tea 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Del Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 My dog only responds to commands in Spanish. He's español... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted October 23, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 23, 2017 Hurry up with that groan button! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 23, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 23, 2017 By strange coincidence trump is British slang for a fart and johnson is American slang for a prick. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 How did you get that past the filter? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 23, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 23, 2017 How did you get that past the filter? It wouldn't let me type pen**. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Today's giggle!!! Mujibar was trying to get a job in India . The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow,Pinkand Green.' Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready' The manager said, 'Go ahead.' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow', this is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works at a call centre.. No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 My missus has been telling me that I'm insensitive to her needs and that I should try seeing things from her point of view. Absolutely nothing has happened outside of our kitchen window for days, I don't know what she's complaining about. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 25, 2017 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 25, 2017 If the circumference of a pumpkin is divided by its diameter does that result in pumpkin pi? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted October 26, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 26, 2017 (edited) If the circumference of a pumpkin is divided by its diameter does that result in pumpkin pi? I only 'know' three people with the surname 'McLeod'; you are all called 'Colin' and you all share the same sense of humour; are all three of you the same person (albeit in Cork, Inverness, and Edinburgh simultaneously)? Meanwhile, the mention of pi has made me hungry ...... Edited October 26, 2017 by Alex TM 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 I only 'know' three people with the surname 'McLeod'; you are all called 'Colin' and you all share the same sense of humour; are all three of you the same person (albeit in Cork, Inverness, and Edinburgh simultaneously)? Meanwhile, the mention of pi has made me hungry ...... "There can be only one", Colin, or is it Connor MacLeod from the Scottish Highlands, known as the Highlander Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted October 26, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 26, 2017 I see Wikipedia lists fifty Colin Campbells, only one of whom is a fictional character. Admittedly there are rather more John Smiths - I didn't stop to count them - but I doubt there are many other such numerous names. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 "Have you ever seen twenty pounds all crumpled up?"...the woman asked her husband."No"...said her husband.She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse...and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra...and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.He took the crumpled twenty pound note from her ...and smiled approvingly."Have you ever seen fifty pounds all crumpled up?"... she then asked her husband?"No ..no, I haven't" ...he said (with an anxious tone in his voice).She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer knickers... and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.He took the crumpled fifty pound note... and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation."Now" ...she said. "Have you ever seen £10,000 all crumpled up?""No, never" ...he said (while obviously becoming even more aroused... and excited)."Well, go and look in the garage!"...she said. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 02080490090 have just cold called me. They wanted to talk to me about my recent car accident, was I hurt. Yes I said. Much sympathy and I was passed to another handler. They took down all my details etc, (all false) and then asked about the accident. I told them how I was crushed between 2 supermarket lorries, how the fire fighters cut me out and the paramedics kept me alive while all this was going on. The blue light special to Guys hospital in London as I was too injured to fly. They asked how serious my injuries were, all the while hearing the cash registers ringing. I then gravely told them how I lost my arms and legs. Kerching! Tescos were going to get screwed. I was then asked if there were any complications. I explained I died a few days later and my funeral is next Thursday. Apparently, I'm a Never leave a bored O A P without adult supervision. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Alex TM Posted October 27, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 27, 2017 That deserves a medal! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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