RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted March 29, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 29, 2017 Apparently the new one pound coin has been designed so you can get a spanner on it to get it out of a yorkshireman's hand !!!!!! My! That'll be a big spanner then! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 29, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 29, 2017 My! That'll be a big spanner then! They're still working on the Scottish version! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Aberdonian Version! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted March 30, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) A retired Mountie, commenting on the theft of the million dollar (face value) gold coin from a museum, said that it could be carried by a couple of men or even rolled away easily. He said it should have been square to make it harder to roll. Edited March 30, 2017 by BR60103 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welchester Posted March 30, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 30, 2017 Aberdonian Version! Now why does that make me think of Pat Mustard? http://img2.thejournal.ie/inline/2058954/original/?width=623&version=2058954 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Last time I was in a chip shop there was a fight ------- a fish got battered. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted March 30, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 30, 2017 Last time I was in a chip shop there was a fight ------- a fish got battered. GROAN BUTTON NOW!!!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) whats Enyas favorite rugby union fixture ? sale away Edited March 30, 2017 by peanuts Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted March 30, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 30, 2017 Don't Panic! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted March 30, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 30, 2017 Maybe we should all agree to use the "friendly/supportive" button as the groan button in this thread on the basis that people who tell jokes that need a groan need all the support they can get! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 31, 2017 Sign on a music shop door: Orff at 12:00 Bach at 1:00 Offenbach at 12:30 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 31, 2017 Sign on a music shop door: Orff at 12:00 Bach at 1:00 Offenbach at 12:30 Or, Orff for 30 minuets, Bach soon, don't quaver, try the Handel. Mike. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
28XX Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman has made more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie'. The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it?' The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you? To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.' The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause, the rabbit said ... 'Mixin-me-toasties' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 31, 2017 Maybe we should all agree to use the "friendly/supportive" button as the groan button in this thread on the basis that people who tell jokes that need a groan need all the support they can get! And the first recipient is; A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves. The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down. The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman has made more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie'. The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it?' The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves.... NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, 'Who are you? To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.' The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.' The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.' The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.' The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?' 'I DIED', said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?' After a short pause, the rabbit said ... 'Mixin-me-toasties' 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
28XX Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 You are welcome {bows} Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 And a "repeat" button? - post#4911. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 Maybe rather than re-posting jokes, people should just post the number of the original post... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 31, 2017 Maybe rather than re-posting jokes, people should just post the number of the original post... Sometimes it's the way you tell them though. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 31, 2017 Maybe rather than re-posting jokes, people should just post the number of the original post... Or just the punchline. Just saying "Bog seat on a Grimsby Trawler" used to set my mate into uncontrollable laughter. Cheers, Mick Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 31, 2017 Maybe rather than re-posting jokes, people should just post the number of the original post... We've had that too! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted March 31, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 31, 2017 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. That should give you some fun for a day or two! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted April 1, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 1, 2017 #1140... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 #5301 had me rolling with laughter Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted April 1, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 1, 2017 #5301 had me rolling with laughter I thought the follow up in #5302 was better. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted April 1, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 1, 2017 Just referring to the post number isn't funny anymore. That's just a repeat of #3330................................... Cheers, Mick Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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