RMweb Gold BoD Posted January 4, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) Eon or wot? Ether would do. Edited January 4, 2017 by BoD Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Davis Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Eon or wot? Ether would do. They need anaesthetising first? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted January 4, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 4, 2017 (edited) UK locos have much shorter distances to travel, pulling much shorter trains and will be missing certain items such as dynamic brakes equipment. errr - Class 70s have dynamic brakes - it is used to power onboard auxiliaries or dissipated as heat through the braking resistors. (The cooling fans howl is quite distinctive for a UK loco) The only British diesel loco I know that had regenerative braking was the class 50. Pedantic mode on - they are rheostatic brakes. Regen brakes are on electric stock, where the power is regenerated into the supply. Rheo or resistive brakes use resistor banks. The Voyager units also have resistive braking. The resistor banks are mounted on the roof. Apologies for being Edited January 4, 2017 by newbryford Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted January 5, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 5, 2017 My missus sent me to the doctors to get some of those tablets that help give you an erection. You should have seen the look on her face when I gave her the diet pills. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted January 5, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 5, 2017 My missus sent me to the doctors to get some of those tablets that help give you an erection. You should have seen the look on her face when I gave her the diet pills. You had a quick glance before everything went black? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb? - Eon steve If we can get away with that here, we can all join in with a Billy Connolly song...."Dyslexic McDonald had a farm... E, I, O, I, E...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 True fact, if you rearrange all the letters of "Dyslexia" ... D A I L Y S E X 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Ian J. Posted January 6, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2017 True fact, if you rearrange all the letters of "Dyslexia" ... D A I L Y S E X Is there such a thing as a false fact...? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted January 6, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2017 Is there such a thing as a false fact...? Yes - newspapers are full of them. Well they look like facts anyway... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 6, 2017 Share Posted January 6, 2017 mate of mines just come back from a caribean holiday and was complianing that the swimming with dolphins trip was far to expensive told him should try swimming with sharks next time cost me and arm and a leg ! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted January 6, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 6, 2017 Chinese Takeaway. £14 Petrol to collect Takeaway. £2 Some pillock left out one of the containers. Riceless. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Coryton Posted January 6, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 6, 2017 Chinese Takeaway. £14 Petrol to collect Takeaway. £2 Some pillock left out one of the containers. Riceless. OK we do need a groan button on this thread. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 I've got a great joke.... The size of British Diesels compared to Canadian and American ones.... That's funny - (It's right close by where I live..) 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted January 7, 2017 RMweb Gold Share Posted January 7, 2017 (edited) Crikey. I have never ventured onto this fast thread before. Had expected it to be populated w killer rib-ticklers. Perhaps it is before this page. I'm gonna add one, but first some context. In the '60s there was an ad campaign by a razor manufacturer - probably Wilkinson Sword - which showed just how keen were their blades. Each ad identified how much use the razor had had making sir into Mr Smooth, with a strapline "and still had five shaves left!"Ok. A lady, somewhat implausibly, swallowed a razorblade. She not only gave herself a tonsillectomy, appendectomy and hysterectomy, but also circumcised her husband, castrated her lover, took two fingers off a casual acquaintance, gave the vicar a hair-lip - and still had five shaves left! Edited January 7, 2017 by Oldddudders 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 attended a wedding recently half way through the party the compare looked at all the loving couples together and said "will all the men please stand next to the person who has made there life worth while " the barman nearly got crushed to death ! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 How many Siths does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer the darkside Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
graeme3300 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 A woman gives birth to identical twin boys and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to an Egyptian family and is named, "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain who name him, "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a photo of himself to his natural Mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wished she also had a picture of Amal. "Dearest," says her husband, "They're identical twins . . . If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted January 16, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 16, 2017 Watch Canadian winter sports! This is one we stole from Scotland and modified with hepl from the French Canadians. http://newsandbusiness.rogersdigitalmedia.com.edgesuite.net/videos/13639244001/201612/2850/13639244001_5238239279001_5238231028001.mp4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I was taking to a on line doctor yesterday because I thought it was strange that every time I see my doctor he wants to check my prostate. He reassured me saying "a man of my age could be considered to be in a high risk group and it's better to be safe than sorry..........I'm still not sure because I saw him this morning and he checked it again while we were in the queue at Tescos! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
28XX Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an aeroplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, and wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took out a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" The woman replied, "I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an 0r9asm" The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded. "Pepper." Edited January 17, 2017 by 28XX 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 (edited) Just received this back from Channel 4... On behalf of Channel 4, may I firstly thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new upcoming reality TV show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed of your wife. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that there appears to be some misunderstanding of the programmes content and the correct title of the series, which is actually, "Fact Hunt". Kind regards, Director of Programmes Channel 4. Edited January 20, 2017 by luckymucklebackit Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Just received this back from Channel 4... On behalf of Channel 4, may I firstly thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new upcoming reality TV show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed of your wife. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that there appears to be some misunderstanding of the programmes content and the correct title of the series, which is actually, "Fact Hunt". Kind regards, Director of Programmes Channel 4. Outstanding!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Bernard Lamb Posted January 22, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 22, 2017 A vulture boards an aeroplane carrying two dead rabbits. The stewardess looks at him and says, " "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger". Bernard 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted January 22, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted January 22, 2017 Time for a GROAN button yet again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheesysmith Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Just received this back from Channel 4... On behalf of Channel 4, may I firstly thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new upcoming reality TV show. Also the charming photograph you enclosed of your wife. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that there appears to be some misunderstanding of the programmes content and the correct title of the series, which is actually, "Fact Hunt". Kind regards, Director of Programmes Channel 4. I take it your other half doesn't read anything on here then? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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