RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted November 10, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 10, 2016 My mate set me up with a blind date last night, although he warned me she was expecting a baby. I felt a right pillock stood in the pub wearing a nappy and sucking a dummy. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 Just a clarification for anyone who finds wiring up a plug confusing. There are three wires in a (UK) plug:A green wire - this wire brings all the electricity from wind turbines and solar panels into your applicance.A blue wire - this wire brings all the electricity from the hydro electric power stations into your applicance.A brown wire - this wire brings all the electricity from the dirty fossil fuel power stations into your applicance. If you want to cut your carbon footprint, you must ensure that this wire is not connected to any of the terminals on the plug. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthur Posted November 10, 2016 Share Posted November 10, 2016 So apperently brian cox and ed balls are forming a partnershipThey are calling themselves Ed and Brian .... We have a local BBC news reporter named Dicken Hooper. Whenever I hear his name my (still) schoolboy brain always ponders on him being Ed Balls' brother. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Winter Fuel Allowance. Do what our senior members do. Go and buy another O gauge loco kit. It's not called The Senior Scale for nothing.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Bernard Lamb Posted November 11, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 11, 2016 Winter Fuel Allowance. Do what our senior members do. Go and buy another O gauge loco kit. Don't forget. Some of us have to share it. Bernard Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold PaulRhB Posted November 11, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 11, 2016 Don't forget. Some of us have to share it. Bernard So one does the loco and the other the tender . . . . Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 11, 2016 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 11, 2016 Winter Fuel Allowance. Do what our senior members do. Go and buy another O gauge loco kit. Do they burn well or would coal be better? lol Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 she was expecting a baby. Never understood that expression, when a lady is pregnant. Of course it's a baby. What do they expect to pop out? A lawnmower or something? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted November 11, 2016 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted November 11, 2016 Expect the unexpected. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Expect the unexpected. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 11, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 11, 2016 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Until after the wedding. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 11, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 11, 2016 Until after the wedding. On a similar vein. I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed...... On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water .......Under his wife's supervision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Budgie Posted November 11, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 11, 2016 I'm waiting for Nellie the Elephant to turn up in the USA. Because: Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and said "Goodbye" to the circus, Off she went, with a trumpetty Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cromptonnut Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Throughout history, four American presidents have been assassinated and various other unsuccessful attempts were made on the lives of a number of others. Can you envy the Secret Service agents, on hearing gunshot near the soon-to-be President Trump, having to yell "Donald, duck..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted November 16, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 16, 2016 Throughout history, four American presidents have been assassinated and various other unsuccessful attempts were made on the lives of a number of others. Can you envy the Secret Service agents, on hearing gunshot near the soon-to-be President Trump, having to yell "Donald, duck..." Better than having to shout "Donald, trump" Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted November 17, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 17, 2016 Throughout history, four American presidents have been assassinated and various other unsuccessful attempts were made on the lives of a number of others. Can you envy the Secret Service agents, on hearing gunshot near the soon-to-be President Trump, having to yell "Donald, duck..." Better than having to shout "Donald, trump" Mike. Your both quackers. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Throughout history, four American presidents have been assassinated and various other unsuccessful attempts were made on the lives of a number of others. Can you envy the Secret Service agents, on hearing gunshot near the soon-to-be President Trump, having to yell "Donald, duck..." Strangely, every American president to have died in office was elected in a year divisible by 20: William Henry Harrison (elected 1840, died in 1841, a month after taking office) Abraham Lincoln (elected 1860, assassinated 1865) James Garfield (elected 1880, assassinated 1881) William McKinley (re-elected 1900, assassinated 1901) Warren Harding (elected 1920, died of cerebral hemorrhage 1923) FDR (re-elected 1940, died of a stroke 1945) JFK (elected 1960, assassinated 1963) There was an unsuccessful assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan (elected 1980). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Strangely, every American president to have died in office was elected in a year divisible by 20: OK, how many of you have just calculated 2016 ? 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted November 17, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 17, 2016 A highways agency warning said anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, hat, gloves, 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, safety triangle, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads. I looked a right pillock on the train this morning... Although it may be advisable if you use Southern services............................. Cheers, Mick Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 17, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 17, 2016 A short gun Story. A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled,"I have a 45-caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the Chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife." A voice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!” Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Throughout history, four American presidents have been assassinated and various other unsuccessful attempts were made on the lives of a number of others. Can you envy the Secret Service agents, on hearing gunshot near the soon-to-be President Trump, having to yell "Donald, duck..." every time he leaves the white house they can brag they have "let a trump out " Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted November 17, 2016 RMweb Premium Share Posted November 17, 2016 every time he leaves the white house they can brag they have "let a trump out " How about a game of cards without trumps? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 So if the Donald went the transgender route, would that make him a trumpet? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted November 17, 2016 RMweb Gold Share Posted November 17, 2016 So if the Donald went the transgender route, would that make him a trumpet? No, he would have three things removed and become a bugle. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Two_sugars Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I thought his kids were trumpets. John Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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