For those interested in old cars.

[Kelly]

I always thought that classic car owners tended to be a fairly responsible bunch, came across the exception to the rule earlier.

Some dipstick driving a MK1 Escort, made to look like a sport or maybe even a Mexico. Came roaring past me on a hill into a 30 limit, narrow village streets, ( I was doing about 30) continued in the same manner round a bend and disappeared but could be heard, revving like mad. Thing is, it wasn't that much faster than I reckon I could go if I stood on the loud pedal, so probably only a 1600 or so with a drainpipe exhaust. I've got a 2.2 turbo diesel. 

 

With the prices of genuine Mexico/Sport (and other sought after/faster models) Escorts not surprising someone has replicated one, probably quite a lot of bog standard Mk1/2 Escorts get such treatment as a result.

[PhilJ W]

The problem with the Vauxhall slant four engines was servicing them. It was virtually impossible to change the spark plugs and have any skin left on your knuckles. It was also one of the first engines, if not the first engine to have a belt driven camshaft instead of a chain and many people had their doubts about that. The performance was remarkable however, I was in a 1600 FD (coke bottle) Victor that achieved 100 mph with 5 persons on board.

[Danemouth]

Perhaps a little OT but I was talking to my BiL yesterday. He trained as a motor fitter and worked at a main dealer in south Wales. They serviced the cars, especially hearses for a local undertaker. Periodically one of these vehicles would be brought in when it wasn't running well. The first action was for the fitter to take it up onto the motorway and give it a blast for ten miles. Usually fixed the problems having blown all the muck out of the engine.

 

Or the lady with a newish Standard complaining about excessive fuel consumption and it was obvious it needed a decoke. So the Workshop Manager went out for a drive with her, she gets into the car, pulls out the choke and hangs her handbag on it - seems that she thought that was what the knob was for. Say no more ....

 

How many young drivers even know what a choke is for, never mind using it?

 

 

Dave

[alastairq]

Where I work, our victims are often young persons, who have just bought their first 'new' car...

 

There are a worrying number of them who have had their new cars for some months....yet have NEVER been under the bonnet.

 

[What for ? They say......don't need to worry about oil, it's a new car....if it runs out of oil, there a light on the dashboard tells them...and they can then get a garage to sort it for them...]

 

These people, and thousands like them for whom a licence is a means of having personal transport..a bus pass in disguise....are ploughing up and down our motorway system every day.

 

And when one of them totals their new car, they wear the fact like a badge of honour.

 

Rather than hanging their heads in shame.  {sorry, shouldn't have said that...a sore point with their employer]

[keefr2]

With the prices of genuine Mexico/Sport (and other sought after/faster models) Escorts not surprising someone has replicated one, probably quite a lot of bog standard Mk1/2 Escorts get such treatment as a result.

Have you seen the prices of even 'bog standard' Mk1 & 2's these days? Even 4 door prices are starting to rocket as the much more desirable 2 doors have already gone stratospheric!

[Fat Controller]

Perhaps a little OT but I was talking to my BiL yesterday. He trained as a motor fitter and worked at a main dealer in south Wales. They serviced the cars, especially hearses for a local undertaker. Periodically one of these vehicles would be brought in when it wasn't running well. The first action was for the fitter to take it up onto the motorway and give it a blast for ten miles. Usually fixed the problems having blown all the muck out of the engine.

 

Or the lady with a newish Standard complaining about excessive fuel consumption and it was obvious it needed a decoke. So the Workshop Manager went out for a drive with her, she gets into the car, pulls out the choke and hangs her handbag on it - seems that she thought that was what the knob was for. Say no more ....

 

How many young drivers even know what a choke is for, never mind using it?

 

 

Dave

Some modern vehicles with emission controls have this problem; we had to replace the diesel people carrier at work (used for a few 4km round trips to and from the platforms) with a petrol one, as the diesel was having to go back to the dealers every fortnight with clagged-up filters. I did offer to give it a run out to Lyon (1600 km round trip), but this didn't wash with management.

[Tony_S]

They serviced the cars, especially hearses for a local undertaker. Periodically one of these vehicles would be brought in when it wasn't running well. The first action was for the fitter to take it up onto the motorway and give it a blast for ten miles. Usually fixed the problems having blown all the muck out of the engine.

 

 

Dave

After my mother's funeral we were in the funeral limo being transported to a local pub. The driver didn't know where it was and asked for directions. My uncle leaned forward and pointing at my cousin's car said "just follow that Porsche." I thought perhaps not an instruction many funeral vehicle drivers get to hear.

[alastairq]

Talking of funerals.....................

 

If any of you 'know' East Yorkshire/North Yorkshire.....Weaverthorpe, to be precise?

 

If you do, then you'll know the church is up the hill a bit, [on the road to Sherburn?] ............the road past it being on the 'steep' side.

 

From the village itself, the road winds up in a hairpin layout, then straightens up, up the hill past the church?   There was [still is?] a bit of grassy 'waste' ground where the road winds up the hill...

 

Anyhow...one day, about 35 years ago or so, I was trundling up the road with aTranny minibus full of kids and teacher. [mk 1 Diseasel transit, too]

 

Rounding the bend, to go straight up past the church, I noticed a funeral in progress.

 

The hearse...an ancient thing, probably an Austin [separate headlamps, as I recall]....was parked at the kerb, facing downhill....the pallbearers/funereal directors, etc, were at hte back, in hte process of removing or loading the coffin...anyway, as I went past, slowly [it was a tranny diesel!!]..I barely noticed the 'young lad' hurrying round the front with a  large polished wood 'chock' with handle.

 

You guessed it..he was a bit late.....chugging past, I happened to glance across to see the hearse wheels starting to turn.....

 

It was one of those realisation moments...I couldn't believe it!

 

I stopped the bus, and looked out back down the road, to see the hears starting to roll away down the hill, the coffin sort-of half in, half out, with pallbearers trying to rapidly trot behind supporting it....the director sprinting off down the hill, alongside the hearse, trying to obviously get in through the driver's' door.....

 

As I recall....it was brought to a halt, on the grassy slope...a scattering of befrocked gentlemen scattered down the road behind it.

 

I still bump into the infant school teacher now & again to this day..she also recalls the event....in amazement....if we hadn't seen it happen, one would never believe it..

 

As I recall, we felt it more seemly to quietly drive off.........

 

I have no idea whose funeral it was........

[RJS1977]

Talking of funerals.....................

 

If any of you 'know' East Yorkshire/North Yorkshire.....Weaverthorpe, to be precise?

 

If you do, then you'll know the church is up the hill a bit, [on the road to Sherburn?] ............the road past it being on the 'steep' side.

 

From the village itself, the road winds up in a hairpin layout, then straightens up, up the hill past the church?   There was [still is?] a bit of grassy 'waste' ground where the road winds up the hill...

 

Anyhow...one day, about 35 years ago or so, I was trundling up the road with aTranny minibus full of kids and teacher. [mk 1 Diseasel transit, too]

 

Rounding the bend, to go straight up past the church, I noticed a funeral in progress.

 

The hearse...an ancient thing, probably an Austin [separate headlamps, as I recall]....was parked at the kerb, facing downhill....the pallbearers/funereal directors, etc, were at hte back, in hte process of removing or loading the coffin...anyway, as I went past, slowly [it was a tranny diesel!!]..I barely noticed the 'young lad' hurrying round the front with a  large polished wood 'chock' with handle.

 

You guessed it..he was a bit late.....chugging past, I happened to glance across to see the hearse wheels starting to turn.....

 

It was one of those realisation moments...I couldn't believe it!

 

I stopped the bus, and looked out back down the road, to see the hears starting to roll away down the hill, the coffin sort-of half in, half out, with pallbearers trying to rapidly trot behind supporting it....the director sprinting off down the hill, alongside the hearse, trying to obviously get in through the driver's' door.....

 

As I recall....it was brought to a halt, on the grassy slope...a scattering of befrocked gentlemen scattered down the road behind it.

 

I still bump into the infant school teacher now & again to this day..she also recalls the event....in amazement....if we hadn't seen it happen, one would never believe it..

 

As I recall, we felt it more seemly to quietly drive off.........

 

I have no idea whose funeral it was........

 

One of my father's "duties" when a funeral takes place at the church my parents attend, is to stand behind the undertaker's trolley as they load the coffin in and out of the hearse, to stop the trolley rolling down the hill into the village!

 

Though all this talk of funeral misadventures reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMzvo8s5sv8

 

Edit: Come to think of it, isn't that the hearse in that clip the type you were just talking about? 

Edit 2: I've just spotted what looks like it may be a Mk1 Transit minibus in the clip as well! 

Edited September 26, 2015 by RJS1977

[RJS1977]

After my mother's funeral we were in the funeral limo being transported to a local pub. The driver didn't know where it was and asked for directions. My uncle leaned forward and pointing at my cousin's car said "j ust follow that Porsche." I thought perhaps not an instruction many funeral vehicle drivers get to hear.

 

There is the story about the driver of a funeral limo who jumped when one of the passengers tapped him on the shoulder during the journey. Turned out he normally drove the hearse...

 

 

And there was a case in West Wales earlier this year when two hearses bound for different funerals passed through the same roundabout within a minute or so of each other, with the inevitable result that the limo (which had been separated from its hearse at the previous set of lights) wound up at the wrong funeral!

[Horsetan]

.... barely noticed the 'young lad' hurrying round the front with a  large polished wood 'chock' with handle.

 

You guessed it..he was a bit late.....chugging past, I happened to glance across to see the hearse wheels starting to turn.....

 

It was one of those realisation moments...I couldn't believe it!

 

I stopped the bus, and looked out back down the road, to see the hears starting to roll away down the hill, the coffin sort-of half in, half out, with pallbearers trying to rapidly trot behind supporting it....the director sprinting off down the hill, alongside the hearse, trying to obviously get in through the driver's' door.....

 

As I recall....it was brought to a halt, on the grassy slope...a scattering of befrocked gentlemen scattered down the road behind it.

 

I still bump into the infant school teacher now & again to this day..she also recalls the event....in amazement....if we hadn't seen it happen, one would never believe it..

 

As I recall, we felt it more seemly to quietly drive off.........

 

I have no idea whose funeral it was........

This reminds me of an episode of "In Loving Memory".

[28XX]

Safer? Certainly.

Lighter? Not a chance.

The "mini" (sic) made by BMW weighs as much as a Maxi.

Thereby completely missing the point of a Mini.

[alastairq]

 

 

Edit: Come to think of it, isn't that the hearse in that clip the type you were just talking about? 

 

Close........as I recall, the hearse  was of a similar type/appearance [at the front] to the Austin taxi...the FX3?

 

I'm not certain over all this time which local funeral director it belonged to.....? One of the Bridlington mob, I suspect?  They  are now all amalgamated....anyhow, the ''FX3'' hearse was seen quite often, [at more rural affairs]...

 

I don't know whether the polished wood 'chock' belonged to the church, or the Funeral Directors...either.

 

Incidentally, I have the  dubious honour of being the driver of the first ever bus to break down on the Humber Bridge....

[Danemouth]

My BiL did tell me one other funeral story.

 

He was road testing a hearse that he had repaired and each time he went around a corner there was a dreadful knocking - he thought that the suspension must be going. Got back to the garage and people from the undertakers were waiting for him. Turns out there was a storage compartment below the place where the coffin stands and the undertakers had forgotten that they had made a collection - it seems Bil had a passenger he knew nothing about. This story goes back to the 1960's

 

When I passed my test in 1977 my first car was an Escort 1100 Mk 1 2 door. My Aunt had bought it new in 1972 but suffered poor health, so at 5 years old in had only done 6,000 miles. Had to replace the tyres - the inner walls had cracks and a new battery. Still remember that car with affection. Replaced it  a couple of years later with a brand new Allegro - kept that just nine months - a truly awful car.

 

 

Dave

[Jol Wilkinson]

Re the posts on fuel lines.

 

This is sometimes discussed on the MGOC forum. One member has just replaced a small original section on his MGB and opened it up for inspection - no deterioration at all judging from the photos he has posted.

 

There is a view that modern replacement parts for older vehicles are poor quality and that the originals are best kept in place, provided there are no obvious signs of splitting and cracking.

[Guest]

The "mini" (sic) made by BMW weighs as much as a Maxi.

Thereby completely missing the point of a Mini.

All the truly great cars were designed for a purpose. The styling comes more from function than artistic whim.

The new MINI wasn't designed that way, it's just a fancy handbag.

Some people want a really big handbag.

[PatB]

... (Firenza/Magnum models always had an 1800cc or above engine iirc)...

 

Possibly not quite so. I used to have a copy of Which? magazine containing one of their extensive tests on a 1600 Firenza (other cars in the group were an Opel Manta, a Hillman Avenger GT and summat else which I can't remember but I don't think was a Ford of any flavour). They found the 1600 Firenza disappointing but noted in their conclusions that it had been replaced with an 1800, so maybe the 1600 production was very short lived.

[PatB]

Have you seen the prices of even 'bog standard' Mk1 & 2's these days? Even 4 door prices are starting to rocket as the much more desirable 2 doors have already gone stratospheric!

 

I blame that Mr Glenister on the telly I do.

[Horsetan]

....The new MINI .... just a fancy handbag.

Some people want a really big handbag.

....and the footwear to match.

[PhilJ W]

Talking of hearses, a friend of mine once worked for the Co-op funeral service. About forty years ago he was sent to collect a brand new Daimler 420G hearse from the coach builders. Driving it back to the depot he decided to test its performance, which he did until he saw the flashing blue lights in his mirrors. He only just escaped a ban because the magistrate could not believe that a hearse could do 105 mph. I don't think anyones mentioned the 'Funeral car GP' from the funeral episode of 'Steptoe and son' yet.

[edcayton]

There was a Viva "E" towards the end; it was based on the Firenza coupe body shell, and built down to a price to the extent that it didn't have a passenger sun visor.

 

Ed

[brianthesnail96]

R.e. fuel lines, replacement of, my 1978 Marina still had what I suspect must have been the originals. They were completely brittle, I replaced the lot. The other one has old but definitely not original lines and I've seen no need to replace them.

 

Had a good run out in the Dolomite today, to the heritage museum at Gaydon via the Fosseway. Loads of classics out in the sun. Was only marred by the hoardes of doddery Honda Jazz drivers and/or horseboxes forcing me to curb my enthusiasm rather. Haven't driven it since last autumn so it was great to be behind the wheel again.

[Catweasel]

Modern fuels also tend to degrade older hoses. Leaded fuel didn't come into use until the late twenties in an attempt to improve the performance of engines of the time.

[DDolfelin]

Another batch ...

 

 

[chriswright03]

Just thought I would add a few from my visit to the classic car and bike show at Sleaford t'other week.  Apologies if there are too many.  I didn't include the bikes!