BlackRat Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 Chap down the road regularly has a chat if I'm in the garage doing something with the bike..... Always about railways and model railways. Ex Royal Navy and a nice bloke all round......he would 'love a model railway'. Lives in a 3 bedroom house, attached garage and NO kids ( late 60's) at home or grandkids etc. He is NOT allowed to have one......not even in the garage....which is largely empty. I buy a few mags which end up getting binned so....would he like some. He would, but again he wouldn't be allowed. He has that sort of 'resigned' look about him. Without Mrs BR I wouldn't have a layout room......study/ modelling room and a fairly largeish stash of unbuilt or unfinished projects. I thank my lucky stars......daily! 5 2 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium John Isherwood Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 24, 2019 1 hour ago, BlackRat said: Chap down the road ......he would 'love a model railway'. He is NOT allowed to have one......not even in the garage.... I buy a few mags ....would he like some. He would, but again he wouldn't be allowed. How do these guys get into this situation?? Is it physical or mental domination? The whole scenario is totally beyond me!! Regards, John Isherwood. 2 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Killybegs Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 When we built our house, we put the railway room at one end and the sewing room at the other. We meet in the middle for meals, conversation, etc, etc. It works very well! 11 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Atso Posted June 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 4 hours ago, Tony Wright said: However, not all wives or partners are as understanding. In my professional loco-building days, I had to sneak in any models I'd made for a particular friend without his wife seeing them. Despite the fact that they were well-heeled (they'd never had children!), she thought it was all a 'complete waste of money'. Such was his concern (they were both getting on) that he might pre-decease her, he'd hand the models back to me and other friends - 'Just for safekeeping; you know what I mean' - knowing that if that were the case she'd just chuck the lot out. And, all his original documents, books and drawings as well. Our various houses bulged with the stuff! She loathed railways in every form - sad really. I can truly relate to this regarding my (thankfully) ex-wife. Once we got married, she absolutely hated anything to do with my hobbies and interests - but especially railways in any form. It really was like somebody had flicked a switch. However, the initial sign wasn't to do with railways at all, but my childhood collection of Lego that I had stored in the loft. One day, I went up there to find some bits and noticed that it was missing. When I asked her where it was, I found that she had decided that it was taking up space and had taken it down to a car boot sale and sold the lot for £5. There must have been coming close to 200 sets there (no boxes but all with instructions) and represented many happy childhood memories creating things. I also found that most of my remaining OO gauge stuff had also been taken and sold; although this time for £10 (five locomotives and around 25 items of rolling stock). I did however notice that her collection of Dolls had not been touched and were all still safely stored in the loft. I was working for RBS as a Commercial Manager during the early days of the financial crisis and ended up very ill due to the huge fall-out caused by a small percentage of those employed. I ended up off work for six months initially, and put on anti-depressants and counselling. It was during these sessions where it was suggested that I finally build my N-gauge layout as part of my rehabilitation. With the help of my father, a start was made and my mental state started to improve. During the counselling sessions, I was always told that I should involve my wife (who would never come) and I was always left feeling like the counselor thought I wasn't asking her. Anyway, eventually I attempted to go back to work. After one very long and stressful day at work, I came home to find the layout stripped of track and some of the boards in the process of being destroyed. Stock had been flung into draws and much was damaged as a result. When I asked what she was doing, she told me that, as I was better now, I had no need for "stupid toys". From that point onward, anything to do with my hobbies, of any, kind was bad - although I did manage to save most of the remains of my N-Gauge collection - despite her best efforts to try and get me to sell it, as we were "short of money". A few months later, I suffered a complete relapse and ended up having to leave the bank and eventually ended up as a self-employed ice skating coach for the next five years. We split in 2012 when I was in such a state that I just couldn't live in the same house anymore. She then decided to move north and emptied the house of pretty much everything she could -although I did manage, after some argument, to save the bed and most of the furniture that I had owned from before our marriage. She always complained that I spent far too much money on model railways - which in either case had stopped in 2009. Imagine my surprise when I found out that, rather than being on the verge of being destitute, she had been earning £10k per year more than I had - she'd managed to spend just over £16k on clothes and shoes in 18 months! Thankfully, that is seven years in the past but I still struggle to accept that there is nothing bad about modelling. Luckily, I am most fortunate in my new (if five years together can be considered new) girlfriend, Kate, who is so understanding and supportive of my hobbies and interests. 42 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post St Enodoc Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 15 hours ago, polybear said: But: (a) The cat will be out of the bag with regard to how much you've been spending..... (b) She'll know what things are worth in the divorce settlement.... Tough call.... Model the Western. Then she won't know how many locos you have cos they all look the same... 4 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Manxcat Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) On 21/06/2019 at 20:12, Tony Wright said: Now a fully sound-equipped Deltic...............................................!!!!!!!! Who knows? Tony, Given your comment above, I thought you might like to see a short video of my DCC sound equipped Deltic which I filmed on our club layout yesterday. The layout is still under construction and the fiddle yard has not yet been completed so I could only run the loco up and down the scenic section. The sound chip is an ESU Loksound Version 4 with a sound file recorded from the real thing by Legomanbiffo. To get that distinctive Napier engine rumble I used an "Earthmover" speaker which, because of its size, required the chassis milled away to create a hollow in which it sits. I am grateful to my fellow club member Andrew Campbell who did that work for me. The chip is programmed with numerous sounds ancillary to the engine noises but I have only included the start up and horns. Regards, Archie Edited June 24, 2019 by Manxcat Deletion of image added in error 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peach james Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 On 23/06/2019 at 01:31, Chamby said: The guys at my local club have decided to have a ‘members only’ swap evening in a few weeks time. It’s not something that I have ever seen a club do before, but we are encouraged to bring all those unwanted bits and pieces that modellers find useful, as well as the usual locomotives and rolling stock. It will be interesting to see what actually turns up! I’m anticipating something much more eclectic than the commercially motivated swapmeets... and a welcome opportunity to rationalise my own ‘stuff’ accumulated over time, but still unused. It’s all being done in the spirit of helping each other out, recognising that one mans junk will be someone else’s valued acquisition. Going through my stuff, I have been surprised how much stuff I have that I have hung on to, simply because it must be worth something to someone, even though I will never realistically use it myself! I’ll have a lot of ‘stuff’ to take on the day! We did a similar thing a couple of years ago here in Victoria, BC. Bring out your unwanted trash, and trade it for someone else's unwanted trash ! Actually, it worked out really well, with things trading at around 1/5th their actual value, but everyone felt that it went well. I got a pair of etched kits to play with at some point, and some other stuff for layout building. Someone else walked away with my tender drive Hornby Brit and 9F that had been replaced by the more current versions. Yesterday's move was to give a RG4 that was given to the club to the member most likely to use said RG4. (along with the EAMES Jubilee "kit" that it is supposed to have been for...). James 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gerbil-Fritters Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 23 minutes ago, Manxcat said: Tony, Given your comment above, I thought you might like to see a short video of my DCC sound equipped Deltic which I filmed on our club layout yesterday. The layout is still under construction and the fiddle yard has not yet been completed so I could only run the loco up and down the scenic section. The sound chip is an ESU Loksound Version 4 with a sound file recorded from the real thing by Legomanbiffo. To get that distinctive Napier engine rumble I used an "Earthmover" speaker which, because of its size, required the chassis milled away to create a hollow in which it sits. I am grateful to my fellow club member Andrew Campbell who did that work for me. The chip is programmed with numerous sounds ancillary to the engine noises but I have only included the start up and horns. Regards, Archie well the earth moved for me... apart from the farting cat horn sound, but that's prototypical I suppose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peach james Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 1 hour ago, Atso said: I can truly relate to this regarding my (thankfully) ex-wife. Once we got married, she absolutely hated anything to do with my hobbies and interests - but especially railways in any form. It really was like somebody had flicked a switch. However, the initial sign wasn't to do with railways at all, but my childhood collection of Lego that I had stored in the loft. One day, I went up there to find some bits and noticed that it was missing. When I asked her where it was, I found that she had decided that it was taking up space and had taken it down to a car boot sale and sold the lot for £5. There must have been coming close to 200 sets there (no boxes but all with instructions) and represented many happy childhood memories creating things. I also found that most of my remaining OO gauge stuff had also been taken and sold; although this time for £10 (five locomotives and around 25 items of rolling stock). I did however notice that her collection of Dolls had not been touched and were all still safely stored in the loft. (snip) Thankfully, that is seven years in the past but I still struggle to accept that there is nothing bad about modelling. Luckily, I am most fortunate in my new (if five years together can be considered new) girlfriend, Kate, who is so understanding and supportive of my hobbies and interests. So, when I started dating my wife, this is what she walked into: Which caused quite some merryment. There is the box for my 3.5" Britannia, the little shunting layout is the pink styrofoam, and about 75k pieces of lego in the photo !. Key to it, I have found, is that both of us need our own space. You have to be able to live with your spouse's choices of hobbies, and be active and encourage them. That doesn't mean doing them for them, but be supportive. My wife, Andrea, loves horses. Guess who built the barn, fenced the fields, and got occasionally used to load hay? Guess who occasionally has to help me move lego for shows? (not the OO, I can manage all that still without help...) When we moved back to Victoria from St Johns, Newfoundland, the deal we came to was a simple one- I got a basement, she got enough land to have a horse and a fireplace. Both of us were happy with it, and it made house hunting much easier. She has some idea of the value of what I have, but then I've never tried to keep it secret from her. Why would I ? I know that the collections are worth pennies on the dollar if resold anyway, so while it should be possible to sell the Lego collection off, she isn't going to get the $ which I have spent on it out without a huge amount of work. I'm supposed to only have as many live steam engines as she has animals, we're past that now, but I haven't bought any new ones. My dad just keeps building and sending them to me, really ! I'm up by 3 from where I was, with the monster outside awaiting attention: I would not stand a spouse who cannot understand my hobbies. I can understand them not taking part, but hobbies are a huge part of what makes us as people, I think. It would boggle me that anyone would try to hide their hobbies, or that a spouse who was not at least supportive of having them. That would go as far as those of my mates who play sports of various forms, or follow sports teams. I may not understand their choice of leisure time pursuit, but I can understand the principal of it. One of our Lego Club members ended up with an (ex) spouse who tried similar. Which went over about like you describe. They aren't together any longer, because the Lego didn't demand that he get rid of the spouse, whereas the spouse demanded he get rid of the lego. His collection is a similar size to mine, and had been amassed over a slightly larger period of time. She had been a much more recent part of his life, and departed much easier than the lego. James 9 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Atso Posted June 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 4 hours ago, cctransuk said: How do these guys get into this situation?? Is it physical or mental domination? The whole scenario is totally beyond me!! For me it was a combination of desperately trying to make things work despite always being told you're not good enough, etc. You love somebody and you'll try and do anything to make life better - I took the vows and did everything I could think of to honour them. Eventually you loose track of what's really going on and who you really are. Before you know it, you're accepting that you are the person always in the wrong and that your opinion/needs are somehow lesser than your partner's. That creates a situation where you can be taken advantage of and you'll accept it; for a time at least. 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Tony Wright Posted June 24, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Atso said: I can truly relate to this regarding my (thankfully) ex-wife. Once we got married, she absolutely hated anything to do with my hobbies and interests - but especially railways in any form. It really was like somebody had flicked a switch. However, the initial sign wasn't to do with railways at all, but my childhood collection of Lego that I had stored in the loft. One day, I went up there to find some bits and noticed that it was missing. When I asked her where it was, I found that she had decided that it was taking up space and had taken it down to a car boot sale and sold the lot for £5. There must have been coming close to 200 sets there (no boxes but all with instructions) and represented many happy childhood memories creating things. I also found that most of my remaining OO gauge stuff had also been taken and sold; although this time for £10 (five locomotives and around 25 items of rolling stock). I did however notice that her collection of Dolls had not been touched and were all still safely stored in the loft. I was working for RBS as a Commercial Manager during the early days of the financial crisis and ended up very ill due to the huge fall-out caused by a small percentage of those employed. I ended up off work for six months initially, and put on anti-depressants and counselling. It was during these sessions where it was suggested that I finally build my N-gauge layout as part of my rehabilitation. With the help of my father, a start was made and my mental state started to improve. During the counselling sessions, I was always told that I should involve my wife (who would never come) and I was always left feeling like the counselor thought I wasn't asking her. Anyway, eventually I attempted to go back to work. After one very long and stressful day at work, I came home to find the layout stripped of track and some of the boards in the process of being destroyed. Stock had been flung into draws and much was damaged as a result. When I asked what she was doing, she told me that, as I was better now, I had no need for "stupid toys". From that point onward, anything to do with my hobbies, of any, kind was bad - although I did manage to save most of the remains of my N-Gauge collection - despite her best efforts to try and get me to sell it, as we were "short of money". A few months later, I suffered a complete relapse and ended up having to leave the bank and eventually ended up as a self-employed ice skating coach for the next five years. We split in 2012 when I was in such a state that I just couldn't live in the same house anymore. She then decided to move north and emptied the house of pretty much everything she could -although I did manage, after some argument, to save the bed and most of the furniture that I had owned from before our marriage. She always complained that I spent far too much money on model railways - which in either case had stopped in 2009. Imagine my surprise when I found out that, rather than being on the verge of being destitute, she had been earning £10k per year more than I had - she'd managed to spend just over £16k on clothes and shoes in 18 months! Thankfully, that is seven years in the past but I still struggle to accept that there is nothing bad about modelling. Luckily, I am most fortunate in my new (if five years together can be considered new) girlfriend, Kate, who is so understanding and supportive of my hobbies and interests. Thanks for that, Steve, It must have taken some courage to compose that post. As you know, I can relate first-hand to the effects of depression. I empathise rather than sympathise. Railway modelling, in all forms, can be a fantastic antidote to feeling 'down'. In my darkest days, I found it hard to even pick up the iron (normally a natural extension of my right hand!), but by 'nibbling' away, a bit at a time and actually making something (however small) things improved, especially with the help of family and friends. You have in Kate, a treasure. As such treasure her. We railway modellers (especially in my case) are often helpless without an understanding wife/partner. What you're building (and showing us all here) is a testament to your recovery and resolve. Good on you my young friend! Kindest regards, Tony. 11 10 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Atso Posted June 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 6 minutes ago, Tony Wright said: Thanks for that, Steve, It must have taken some courage to compose that post. As you know, I can relate first-hand to the effects of depression. I empathise rather than sympathise. Railway modelling, in all forms, can be a fantastic antidote to feeling 'down'. In my darkest days, I found it hard to even pick up the iron (normally a natural extension of my right hand!), but by 'nibbling' away, a bit at a time and actually making something (however small) things improved, especially with the help of family and friends. You have in Kate, a treasure. As such treasure her. We railway modellers (especially in my case) are often helpless without an understanding wife/partner. What you're building (and showing us all here) is a testament to your recovery and resolve. Good on you my young friend! Kindest regards, Tony. Thank you Tony, it isn't the whole story regarding my ex, but it is the bit that relates to my modelling activities. I also suffered the misfortune of working for and on behalf of a company who's senior management displayed many of the same traits (I really though it was just me until I was put in touch with over 20 other people with similar experiences with them). I'd actually say that they did deeper and longer lasting damage. My own recovery (as Kate will tell you) is, even now, very much a work in progress. I have good days and bad days but have never quite recovered the positive and pro-active, "can do" attitude I had prior to 2009. Right now I have a shelf full of projects to complete but no will, motivation or belief to get on with them. You're sharing of your own experience and recovery has been a big inspiration to me and I use it to serve as a reminder that one day I will fully rediscover myself and be able to function consistently again. 4 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony Wright Posted June 24, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2019 2 hours ago, Manxcat said: Tony, Given your comment above, I thought you might like to see a short video of my DCC sound equipped Deltic which I filmed on our club layout yesterday. The layout is still under construction and the fiddle yard has not yet been completed so I could only run the loco up and down the scenic section. The sound chip is an ESU Loksound Version 4 with a sound file recorded from the real thing by Legomanbiffo. To get that distinctive Napier engine rumble I used an "Earthmover" speaker which, because of its size, required the chassis milled away to create a hollow in which it sits. I am grateful to my fellow club member Andrew Campbell who did that work for me. The chip is programmed with numerous sounds ancillary to the engine noises but I have only included the start up and horns. Regards, Archie That's very impressive Archie, Thanks for showing us. Other than comment on the impressive sound, may I make a couple of observations, please? Firstly, I assume (at least I hope) those ghastly couplings on the Deltic are not long for this world? Secondly, why are the platforms so high on the layout? This is something I see far too often - platforms which are far too high on models. When I worked out the height of the platforms on LB, they came out (at the highest) horizontally half-way across the buffer of an A4 passing through them. It could be any other loco or item of stock (yes, I know they did vary in height), but at no point was any platform (in all my research) higher than just above half-way across a buffer. Look at the layout platforms in the clip. They're way above the height of a buffer. In fact, they're higher than a carriage solebar, so any doors (if they did) could not be opened without clouting the platform edge. Some proprietary platforms are too high, hence the issue. One layout built to show beginners 'how to do things' also had this situation, and the platform edge would have presented any passengers with the problem of stepping DOWN to board a train - just like in the clip. It's nonsense. Other than that, the layout appears to be coming along well. Regards, Tony. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Clem Posted June 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Atso said: I can truly relate to this regarding my (thankfully) ex-wife. Once we got married, she absolutely hated anything to do with my hobbies and interests - but especially railways in any form. It really was like somebody had flicked a switch. Snap - I had exactly the same experience of a switch being flicked with my ex-wife. We parted 13 years ago. She hated everything I did - the band, the railway, my friends....Luckily she didn't think to attack my models after the split up. But she did go through just about every railway book I had tearing several pages out from each. It's taken me all these years to replace them and there's still many I haven't. I've been with my partner Chris for 13 years but we knew each other at school and went out together then. She's lovely. She's interested in my hobbies (as I am in hers) and only too pleased to get me out of the way into the workshop so she can get one with her things. She loves the layout and likes my guitar playing - who could wish for more..... 3 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Tony Wright Posted June 24, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Atso said: Thank you Tony, it isn't the whole story regarding my ex, but it is the bit that relates to my modelling activities. I also suffered the misfortune of working for and on behalf of a company who's senior management displayed many of the same traits (I really though it was just me until I was put in touch with over 20 other people with similar experiences with them). I'd actually say that they did deeper and longer lasting damage. My own recovery (as Kate will tell you) is, even now, very much a work in progress. I have good days and bad days but have never quite recovered the positive and pro-active, "can do" attitude I had prior to 2009. Right now I have a shelf full of projects to complete but no will, motivation or belief to get on with them. You're sharing of your own experience and recovery has been a big inspiration to me and I use it to serve as a reminder that one day I will fully rediscover myself and be able to function consistently again. Don't worry, Steve, You will regain the motivation and the belief. I know! When I was just a year or two older than you are now, I was gazing out of the window of a psychiatric ward wishing I were terminally-ill! Regards, Tony. Edited June 24, 2019 by Tony Wright to clarify a point 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium John Isherwood Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 24, 2019 56 minutes ago, Atso said: For me it was a combination of desperately trying to make things work despite always being told you're not good enough, etc. You love somebody and you'll try and do anything to make life better - I took the vows and did everything I could think of to honour them. Eventually you loose track of what's really going on and who you really are. Before you know it, you're accepting that you are the person always in the wrong and that your opinion/needs are somehow lesser than your partner's. That creates a situation where you can be taken advantage of and you'll accept it; for a time at least. I suppose it is all about self-esteem - something that I can relate to. Our marriage has always been one of complete openess, to the point of having a joint bank account. No chance of hiding (or needing to hide) hobby expenditure, and we are both supportive of each other's hobbies. However, I do understand the damage done by constant criticism and belittling - though from the perspective of work; we both suffered from that. There is no doubt that it can totally destroy self-esteem and motivation. As has been said, what we choose to do in our leisure time is an intrinsic part of who we are, and any attempt to suppress this can be devastating. To those who endure hostility to their interests from their partners I say - think long and hard about the value you place on placating them. If the outcome is to be detrimental to your mental state, find the courage to challenge your current situation; it will be for the best in the long run. Regards, John Isherwood. 1 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony Wright Posted June 24, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2019 5 hours ago, cctransuk said: How do these guys get into this situation?? Is it physical or mental domination? The whole scenario is totally beyond me!! Regards, John Isherwood. Obviously not you and me, John, However, I recall, years ago, a colleague of mine shacking up with a real harpy. He'd left his wife (who was lovely) and bit by bit this 'creature' was destroying his life. Out of our kind hearts, another colleague and I decided it was our duty to tell him to leave her, citing the siren squeal all the time, the constant nagging, the impositions made on his (not much) free time and the fact that she'd probably have turned observers to stone had they not been equipped with reflective shields. 'I know, I know' he said. 'You're both right, I know'. 'Why not then?' we demanded. His eyes glazed, a far-away look came upon his face and, in a most-resigned voice he answered 'It's the sex!' We 'advised' him no more after that................. Regards, Tony. 1 6 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Atso Posted June 24, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) 55 minutes ago, Tony Wright said: Don't worry, Steve, You will regain the motivation and the belief. I know! When I was just a year or two older than you, I was gazing out of the window of a psychiatric ward wishing I were terminally-ill! Regards, Tony. Thanks Tony, While I've never been admitted onto a psychiatric ward, I do wonder if that is because I stopped talking to my (at the time) doctor about things. This came about because the anti-depressants I was prescribed (ciltalopram) had the unfortunate side effect of making me physically very ill. When I told my doctor of this, I was told that that they didn't believe me, it was all I was going to get and I had a choice: either take the tables or do without. I chose the latter and never went back. Kate has recently convinced me to give things another go at my new surgery and seek another course of counselling. I do remember sitting at a friends funeral in 2012 feeling very envious. He had recently committed suicide and, at the time, I really wished that I had had the conviction to go through with my own attempt a few months earlier - I truly believed that he was the lucky one. That led to my conclusion (in a bizarre twisted logic that I cannot explain) that I'd failed completely and there was nothing I could do to keep my marriage going any longer. It wasn't until sometime after we split that I realised where (in hindsight, only some of) the problems really lay. It was then that my remaining friends came forward and told me that they had seen this long ago but didn't know how to broach the subject. Apologies to those who do not wish to read about such things, its really very long and complicated and I don't think I fully understand all of it myself. I'll draw a line under my own self pity here. Edited June 24, 2019 by Atso 25 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gr.king Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I usually find the retreat into the controllable world of railway modelling is quite a relief from the problems of the real world. I'm not sure whether that's a scientifically "good thing" or not for my mental well-being, but it has certainly seemed very handy at times, even when I was on anti-depressants for some time, and I'm not now about to let anybody else start telling me that I can't do railway modelling any more! I view it as a form of good old-fashioned occupational therapy. Oddly enough, I've had a dip in modelling motivation lately, although it is explained by circumstances: The current project was beginning to make me think that I had come close to biting off more than I could chew. I was tired, getting very critical of my own results and not making progress at anything like the desired rate. The real-life "to do" list was also glaring at me, reminding me of lots of other overdue tasks, with other ones joining the queue relentlessly. The only practical option was to let the modelling work wait for a while, to deal with some of the other stuff and to try to calm down a bit. I haven't cleared the decks yet, by any stretch of the imagination, but a recent fresh appraisal of my "rested" project has made me think that some of the previously perceived faults are not so serious and the task of completing it may be less daunting than I had thought. 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
timbowilts Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 I have found this a very different sub-thread at the moment. I spent my whole working life in Railway Signalling Engineering until retirement eighteen months ago. I was also a member of a small gathering of like minded modellers for several years. The common factor between the two was the high percentage of divorced men involved in both activities. In the case of the modelling group it was 75% divorced! I must have done something right as I’ve been married for 31 years (though how much longer remains to be seen now that I have to spend so much time with ‘er indoors ) Tim T 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 24, 2019 9 hours ago, Clive Mortimore said: Like Tony I have a wife who allows me to undertake my hobby. In fact when we were looking to leave Essex the "railway shed" was as important as the stables. One property she liked, well the stables, didn't have a "railway shed" so I told her that I would camp in garage until such time we got around to building one. She viewed the stables and bungalow on her own. I had a telephone call "The garage is no bigger than you already have, would you like the living room?" 20 feet by 15 feet room, near the kitchen, warm in the winter, and cool (north facing) in the summer, it would have been rude to say no. Don't worry we do have a living room which had been called the family room by the estate agent, it over looks the stables and horses. How lucky am I? If you had been really lucky, you'd have got the stables! Sure the horse can camp out in the living room... 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium jamie92208 Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) I can only say that I have been very lucky. The day I met her Beth came to my home and was greeted by the sight of my bicycle leaning on the kitchen wall with two baseboards of my never completed Woodlesford layout beyond. In the sitting room my modelling bench was custom built under the stairs and the front windowsill was full of completed models. Thus she could never say that she was unaware of my interests. On our honeymoon there seemed to be a railway line in front of every motel we stayed in and things went downhill from there. We got engaged during few days in the Lake District after an evening with one of the drivers from the Ratty. When we decided to move to France, we spent several hours, during two car journeys coming up with a 'spec' for what we wanted. Both of us agreed on room for our respective hobbies. For me that meant enough room for a shed to house Lancaster Green Ayre. Beth wanted space for a 6m diameter pool and a room where she could do craft and music. By sheer chance we found a house that fitted this spec, without even visiting an estate agent. The shed is big enough for the layout and there was plenty of space for the pool (Which has been built) and we share the office in the shed that has windows. She hates trains due to bad experiences commuting as a teenager, but has tolerated and supported my hobby. She has lost a lot of street cred with the kids by, not only taking loco numbers for me in the US when I was driving, but by videoing the Big Boy as it headed home into Cheyenne. One thing that I have realised is that I must write a detailed "To do in the event of my demise" list. A good friend died suddenly a couple of weeks ago and his widow has absolutely no idea of what to do with his models. There are many model railway items plus a part completed HMS Victory being uilt from a part work. I had met Mel 2 days before he died and then went to see his daughter and widow. Obviously they were in no state to discuss the disposal of his models and I spent most of my time sorting out pension stuff as his widow had no idea about what income she could expect. In the crcumstances this was the best thing to do. I did say to her that if and when she wanted to start sorting things out, that she should get in touch so that I can advise her. Jamie Edited June 24, 2019 by jamie92208 9 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Joseph_Pestell Posted June 24, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, Compound2632 said: If you had been really lucky, you'd have got the stables! Sure the horse can camp out in the living room... Many a true word..... Where I lived in Reims, there had been a family who kept a horse in a 1st floor flat. 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted June 24, 2019 Share Posted June 24, 2019 2 minutes ago, Joseph_Pestell said: Many a true word..... Where I lived in Reims, there had been a family who kept a horse in a 1st floor flat. Do anything wrong and you'd be in for the high jump! 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony Wright Posted June 24, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, timbowilts said: I have found this a very different sub-thread at the moment. I spent my whole working life in Railway Signalling Engineering until retirement eighteen months ago. I was also a member of a small gathering of like minded modellers for several years. The common factor between the two was the high percentage of divorced men involved in both activities. In the case of the modelling group it was 75% divorced! I must have done something right as I’ve been married for 31 years (though how much longer remains to be seen now that I have to spend so much time with ‘er indoors ) Tim T Thanks Tim, Wright Writes does go off at tangents at times, but I hope it's always seen as supportive; either with regard to modelling projects or life's issues in general. I think railway modelling can be a therapy for many of the ills surrounding us. I do try to convince myself of that when I solder a set of valve gear up solid for the umpteenth time! Regards, Tony. Edited June 24, 2019 by Tony Wright typo error 6 5 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now