Things that make you :)

[PaulRhB]

26 minutes ago, newbryford said:

 

Actually - I turned it over to find it was marked in mm on the other side.......

 

Finally the man responsible for turning the world upside down is revealed! 🌍

[kevinlms]

30 minutes ago, PaulRhB said:

Finally the man responsible for turning the world upside down is revealed! 🌍

Well it certainly stopped many from ever bothering to learn the metric system. Yes, I did both at school and metric is much easier!

[Hroth]

11 hours ago, DavidB-AU said:

 

There is another one.

 

Half full be damned!  I want a bigger glass!

 

[Ramblin Rich]

11 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

There is another one.

 

Half full be damned!  I want a bigger glass!

 

Also:

Undecided - it's half empty. No half full. No half empty. What was the question again?

Or aggressive:

Did you spill my drink?

[Tim Dubya]

[big jim]

[Steamport Southport]

On 29/11/2022 at 10:41, PaulRhB said:

Finally the man responsible for turning the world upside down is revealed! 🌍

 

Wouldn't everything fall off?

[Tim Dubya]

24 minutes ago, big jim said:

 

Ah, Botox. 😉

[J. S. Bach]

15 minutes ago, Steamport Southport said:

Wouldn't everything fall off?

Ask those in Australia; they might know. 😺

[CameronL]

On 29/11/2022 at 00:55, DavidB-AU said:

Pedant "'Actually as both 'full' and 'empty' are absolute terms it is not possible to be 'half' of either. The correct description is 'at 50% capacity.'"

[Hroth]

5 hours ago, CameronL said:

Pedant "'Actually as both 'full' and 'empty' are absolute terms it is not possible to be 'half' of either. The correct description is 'at 50% capacity.'"

 

But its still better to have 50% capacity of a BIGGER glass!  🤪

[melmerby]

On 28/11/2022 at 23:29, jcredfer said:

note "guessing stick" - such a clear, misleading, insult to all those Slide Rule users,

I have used one of these where I used to work.

http://tinas-sliderules.me.uk/Slide Rules/Fuller1.JPG

The log scale is 41 feet long

Makes the normal foot long ones seem puny.

[Darius43]

 

Cheers

 

Darius

[DavidB-AU]

I have access to the latest version of the GPT AI text generator which can create some amazing long form text from natural language inputs. Here are some samples I did. Remember this is entirely created by AI!

 

 

Write a scene from a play in the style of Shakespeare about fixing a printer

 

SCENE: A small office, with a desk, a chair, and a broken laser printer.

 

Enter PRINTER REPAIRMAN and OFFICE WORKER.

 

PRINTER REPAIRMAN:
What broken printer is this, that doth lay here?
It seems to be in a sorry state of repair.

 

OFFICE WORKER:
Alas, 'tis true, this printer is in need
Of thy skilful hands to make it whole indeed.

 

PRINTER REPAIRMAN:
Fear not, good sir, for I shall soon be done
And this printer shall be working as it should be, anon.

 

OFFICE WORKER:
I thank thee

 

 

Write an airline captain's announcement in the style of an Edgar Allen Poe poem

 

Hearken, passengers, to my words, I crave,
I am the captain of this dark and eerie flight,
Come to take you on a journey to the grave,

And leave behind the world and its light.

 

We'll soar above the darkened earth,
Through the clouds we'll climb and creep,
Where hope and mercy have no worth,

And death and darkness doth sleep.

 

But fear not, for we are skilled in the art of flight,
And we'll guide this ship with steady hand,
Through the storms and the night,

We'll bring you to your promised land.

 

So sit back, relax, and trust in us,
As we take you on a journey like no other,

Where the horrors of the night are thus,
Will leave you in the sky forever.
 

 

Farewell, passengers,

And may your souls rest in peace.
 

 

Write a song in the style of John Lennon about congestion on the M25

 

Verse 1:
On the M25, where the cars go round
There's a traffic jam that's bringing everyone down
With cars backed up for miles and tempers starting to fray
It's a nightmare on the motorway, a disaster every day

 

Chorus:
Congestion, oh congestion, how you plague our lives
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a curse to all
With your endless delays and your bumper-to-bumper strife
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a nightmare on the M25

 

Verse 2:
The M25 was meant to be a road to freedom
A way to connect the cities and towns of England
But now it's just a parking lot, with engines idling by
And all we can do is sit and wait, and hope the traffic flies

 

Chorus:
Congestion, oh congestion, how you plague our lives
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a curse to all
With your endless delays and your bumper-to-bumper strife
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a nightmare on the M25

 

Bridge:
We need more lanes, we need more signs
We need to find a way to make the traffic flow
Or else we'll all be stuck in this mess forevermore
Congestion, oh congestion, we need a cure

 

Chorus:
Congestion, oh congestion, how you plague our lives
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a curse to all
With your endless delays and your bumper-to-bumper strife
Congestion, oh congestion, you're a nightmare on the M25

 

Outro:
Congestion, oh congestion, we beg of you
Congestion, oh congestion, please let us through
Congestion, oh congestion, we need some relief
Congestion, oh congestion, we're at your mercy, oh M25.

[DavidB-AU]

Write about a train journey from London to Edinburgh in the style of H.G. Wells

 

The train sped northward, its powerful engine pushing it along the tracks at a rapid pace. I watched as the city of London quickly disappeared behind us, giving way to the rolling hills and verdant forests of the countryside.

 

As we journeyed onwards, I couldn't help but marvel at the wonders of this new mode of transportation. The train was a marvel of engineering, allowing us to travel long distances in a fraction of the time it would take by horse or carriage. I felt a sense of excitement and possibility, as if the world was suddenly open to exploration in a way it had never been before.

 

We passed through small towns and villages, each with its own unique character and charm. The scenery outside the window changed constantly, providing a never-ending feast for the eyes.

 

As we drew closer to Edinburgh, the landscape grew wilder and more rugged. Snow-capped mountains loomed in the distance, and the air grew colder. I pulled my coat tighter around me, eager to arrive and explore this new city.

 

Finally, the train pulled into Edinburgh station and came to a stop. I gathered my belongings and stepped off the train, eager to begin my adventures in this historic and fascinating place.

 

(Why am I hearing this in Richard Burton's voice???)

[KeithMacdonald]

On 28/11/2022 at 16:05, andytrains said:

Should a member of the Brethren also be an arm chair modeller?

 

It depends on what kind of armchair you are modelling. As all brethren will know, these are always included inside any EBCR-grade model of a GWR station waiting room.

 

By coincidence, Brethren are hereby invited to a Convocation of The Order at DFS Swindon on 1st April 2023.  To investigate variations in the current range of armchairs from the prototypical armchairs they knew in their day.  Senior brethren may provide black and white photographs as evidence that the colours currently on display are incorrect. Extra points for quoting Pantone colour references.

 

Brethren will be invited to display their displeasure in the usual manner. Please bring your own anoraks, tape measures and tutometers.

[KeithMacdonald]

1 hour ago, DavidB-AU said:

I have access to the latest version of the GPT AI text generator

 

Any chance of a link to source code? 😀

[DavidB-AU]

1 minute ago, KeithMacdonald said:

 

Any chance of a link to source code? 😀

 

They never release the source. It's an API but not open to the public yet.

 

This one is absolute gold! They have obviously trained it on multiple languages. Any fluent Scots speakers able to verify if it makes sense?

 

 

Write a poem about socks in the style of Robert Burns

 

O socks, howfur oft thou art dingyed 
Worn w'oot muckle thought or struggle
Thou art the silent foot kinged
As we gang about our daily scuddle

 

Bit och, how necessary thou art
As sure as mah word reach yer lug 
In bits thou dost speil thy part
To keep our feet aff 'n' snug

 

Thou comest in many shapes and sizes
Some ur plain and some ur bold
Tae fit th' feet of all arises
But all serve identical purpose, tae haud

 

Oor feet keep thaim taps aff 'n' dear 
Through the cauld 'n' smirr 'n' snow
O socks, we owe thee a stoatin cheer
Of gratitude fur a' thou dost bestow

 

Sae here's a toast tae thee, o socks
May thou ne'er be forgot
Fur thou art a necessary part
Of th' comfort o' oor daily lot.

[KeithMacdonald]

57 minutes ago, DavidB-AU said:

(Why am I hearing this in Richard Burton's voice???)

 

Because that is the voice.

Optional extra: soundtrack by Jeff Wayne.

 

 

[Cowley 47521]

[jcredfer]

That Burns poem was too short by half and was not a true reflection of style, as it was still vaguely comprehensible by the 5th verse, due, no doubt, to the AI still being sober.   

 

 

[KeithMacdonald]

3 hours ago, Cowley 47521 said:

 

Vorsprung Durch VAR Technik?

 

 

They think it's all over - - - it is now!

 

[CameronL]

And now, another "Say What, Elton?"

 

An occasional series of misheard Elton John lyrics. Elton overdoes the wine...

 

[J. S. Bach]

5 hours ago, CameronL said:

 ...snip... 

That kind of reminds me of Albert Speer.

[KeithMacdonald]

15 hours ago, CameronL said:

And now, another "Say What, Elton?"

An occasional series of misheard Elton John lyrics.

 

Elton John on the Two Ronnies Christmas Special 1987.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a handle in the wind

 

There were some technical problems and he had to do it four times.