CameronL Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 We seem to have a bit of a nun theme going here This is the funniest thing about nuns you'll ever hear. The brilliant Jake Thackray's "Sister Josephine". Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted July 16, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 16, 2021 Then there's the one of the Mother Superior visiting the dormitory. "Goodnight Sisters, candles out!" I think you can guess where that one went... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Hroth said: Then there's the one of the Mother Superior visiting the dormitory. "Goodnight Sisters, candles out!" I think you can guess where that one went... Or where they came from! 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted July 16, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 16, 2021 1 hour ago, jcm@gwr said: Or where they came from! The joke-teller usually supplies the sound effect... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 G'Day Folks 4 3 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 17, 2021 Motorist rushes into pub, clearly a bit stressed over something, and orders a double whiskey, downs it in one, then asks the barman 'How tall are penguins?'. 'About 3 feet I think' says the barman. 'B*gger', says the motorist, 'I've just run over a nun!'. 3 1 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 17, 2021 10 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 17, 2021 Same motorist, same pub; ‘double whiskey, please. I won’t be driving home tonight so I may as well have a few drinks’. ‘Something wrong with the car?’ asks the barman. ‘Yeah, two flat tyres; ran over a milk bottle’. ‘Didn’t you see it?’. ‘Nah, damn kid had it under his coat’… 2 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
CameronL Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 Scary question Two ethical questions: Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion? Whilst you are thinking about that read the following: Question 2: It is time to elect the world leader, and yours is the deciding vote. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates: Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with Astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer........ Candidate A ... is Franklin D. Roosevelt Candidate B ... is Winston Churchill Candidate C ... is Adolph Hitler And by the way how did you answer the abortion question? If you said yes, ` you just killed Beethoven. 1 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Saunders Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 20 minutes ago, CameronL said: Scary question Two ethical questions: Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion? Whilst you are thinking about that read the following: Question 2: It is time to elect the world leader, and yours is the deciding vote. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates: Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with Astrologers. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer........ Candidate A ... is Franklin D. Roosevelt Candidate B ... is Winston Churchill Candidate C ... is Adolph Hitler And by the way how did you answer the abortion question? If you said yes, ` you just killed Beethoven. Candidate C was the one I recognised but it only tells part of his history! Candidate B will be sober in the morning. Candidate A it is difficult not to as they all frequent the same water hole! and Beethoven you would be listening to another composer and no one would be any the wiser! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
andytrains Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 54 minutes ago, Mark Saunders said: Candidate C was the one I recognised but it only tells part of his history! Candidate B will be sober in the morning. Candidate A it is difficult not to as they all frequent the same water hole! and Beethoven you would be listening to another composer and no one would be any the wiser! B. Greatest British Person ever! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Saunders Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 55 minutes ago, andytrains said: B. Greatest British Person ever! not everyone would agree ! Another longboat full of Vikings at Stanford Bridge could have changed all that! 1 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gr.king Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Mark Saunders said: not everyone would agree ! Another longboat full of Vikings at Stanford Bridge could have changed all that! Stamford Bridge I think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 G'Day Folks 14 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 hours ago, andytrains said: B. Greatest British Person ever! There is a whole Tonypandy section of my family that would have disagreed with you about that... 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium skipepsi Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 minutes ago, The Johnster said: There is a whole Tonypandy section of my family that would have disagreed with you about that... In fact most miners families not to mention about 4 million Indian people... 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted July 17, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 17, 2021 Not popular in Llanelli, either, or amongst ANZAC forces, having got them cut to pieces in the Gallipoli landings in one war and was then instrumental in abandoning those in Singapore to the advancing Japanese in the next one. I doubt he was on the xmas card lists for anyone who lost relatives on the Lusitania, for that matter. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Saunders Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 8 hours ago, gr.king said: Stamford Bridge I think. Need to read properly before pressing send and or get reading glasses or even go for the cure at Barnard Castle! 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Dunsignalling Posted July 18, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 18, 2021 (edited) But greatness is something only detectable in hindsight. In Churchill's case, it arises from his overall achievements being so significant within historical context as to massively outweigh earlier (and even concurrent) shortcomings and errors. This is another reason to be cautious about allowing other figures, tainted by their connections to the slave trade, to be expunged from public view. In general, they became famous for positive (albeit, perhaps, nationalistic or militaristic) achievements at a time when slavery was common internationally. Where it becomes more difficult is someone like Edward Colston, whose philanthropic activities were only possible because he had made a fortune from it. As for Cecil Rhodes, I concluded he was a deeply dodgy operator and best avoided, irrespective of ones race, in third form History classes. John Edited July 18, 2021 by Dunsignalling 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium MJI Posted July 18, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 18, 2021 I few thoughts. World leaders. I am wary of cheats and vegetarians so ended up with Churchill. And colston leads to Bristol statues . Replace all statues in Bristol with Wallace and Gromit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir douglas Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 Mexican attempt at distancing 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted July 18, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted July 18, 2021 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post RFS Posted July 18, 2021 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted July 18, 2021 2 30 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Hroth Posted July 18, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted July 18, 2021 1 hour ago, Sidecar Racer said: B@stard!!! 48 minutes ago, RFS said: Now, pencils are useful if you've nothing else to hand, but I've still got a little Bic cassette rewinder, far quicker than a pencil! 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 11 hours ago, sir douglas said: Mexican attempt at distancing ..... Just Mexico - family distancing. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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