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Things that make you :)


Andy Y
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I was searching online for a source of Fiery Jack liniment, and came across this on Yahoo! Answers -

 

"Hi ive erection problems and Ive some fiery jack that I used to use for a muscle strain I had. Do you think its a good idea if I use it as lubricant next time i have sex with my g/f as I think putting it on would solve my erection problems.."

 

Some like it hot ...

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I see his point... one session with that stuff, he's not going to need his 'problem area' much again, is he? Especially if she tells all her friends.....

 

 

However unpleasant the effect on said member, it pales to insignificance compared to the likely effects on the GF if union were actually achieved.  

 

As an OT aside to this, a friend told me about her cousin who, being adventurous by nature but also a bit impatient, decided to give Viagra a go "just to see if it worked". Having downed the said pill, and with nothing appearing to happen immediately, he thought that maybe downing a few more would help the process along.

 

The result of that impatience, says my friend, was that not only was erection achieved but - and I quote - "it didn't go down, and he had a b.o.n.e.r for about a week."

Edited by Horsetan
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  • RMweb Gold

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:


'Well, that's great..............some ar#ehole's got my pen!'

Edited by grandadbob
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DOG FOR SALE


A man sees a sign outside a house -
'Talking Dog For Sale .'
He rings the bell, the owner appears
And tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.

The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, The man asks,  "So, tell me your story."


The Labrador looks up and says,
"Well, I  discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders.
Because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping, I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years."


"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger So I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at Heathrow Airport to do some undercover security work, Wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings
and was awarded several medals.
I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."

The man was amazed
He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

"Ten quid," the owner says.

"£10.....!!?  But this dog is absolutely  amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"

"Because he's a lying *******
He's never been out of the garden."

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