Horsetan Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Yours? Preeety carr..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 18, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 18, 2015 Talking of Noah's Ark, can someone explain to me how the Kangaroo, Wallaby, Platypus, etc., all got from Australia to Turkey to be on the ark before the flood, and how they all got back to Australia without getting lost on the way back afterwards? Doesn't stop people looking for the first landing place of the Ark! I rather liked the Dr Who series on 'The Ark in Space', which ran in several episodes. over a period of time. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwealleans Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Oh, yes, one of my personal favourites. Part of a much larger story arc which spanned much of a whole series, IIRC. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Another aphorism - and one which is, unfortunately, all too true Deodorant is like common sense : Those most in need of it never use it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted June 18, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 18, 2015 Another aphorism - and one which is, unfortunately, all too true Deodorant is like common sense : Those most in need of it never use it! Another, from The Joker. Mike. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 The way to thank a customer.... http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/13217573.Handy_man_ban__Customer_s_safety_concerns_earn_lifetime_ban_from_every_B_Q Manager should be named and shamed Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Apparently scientists have just discovered a new addition to the periodic table (280) AH! 112 It's the element of surprise.......................................... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 21, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 21, 2015 The Waiterhttps://youtu.be/_CwHrJt8Oz8Make sure you make it to the end! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 The great thing about Holland is the excellent provision they have for cyclists. That doesn't mean though that some signage couldn't be clearer.................. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 The trouble with old anecdotes is they might have appeared on here before: Hi Bob,This is Alan next door.I'm sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've beenriddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying topluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least nowtelling in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without youknowing.The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night whenyou're not around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly inthe mornings after you've left for work.I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's noexcuse I know. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope youwill accept my sincerest apologies.My wife has known for some time now and I'vepromised her that it won't happen again.=================================================================== Bob, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into hisbedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twicein the head and killed her.He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drinkand sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone to respond to theneighbour's text and saw he had another message:-====================================================================== Hi Bob,This is Alan next door again.Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you workedit out anyway but as you saw, my predictive text changed 'WiFi' to Wife.Hope you saw the funny side of that. :-) LOLRegards Alan Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 The way to thank a customer.... http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/13217573.Handy_man_ban__Customer_s_safety_concerns_earn_lifetime_ban_from_every_B_Q Manager should be named and shamed I think everyone should take a camera into B&Q and start snapping away.... Best, Pete. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozexpatriate Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 My wife has known for some time now and I've promised her that it won't happen again. But was Alan's WiFi jealous? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium ColinK Posted June 23, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 23, 2015 I think everyone should take a camera into B&Q and start snapping away.... Best, Pete. Being banned from B&Q would be bliss. No more diy, so more modelling time! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium TheQ Posted June 24, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 24, 2015 Being banned from B&Q would be bliss. No more diy, so more modelling time! Sadly a regular quote, misquoted "Other baseboard (diy) parts are availible" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Being banned from B&Q would be bliss. No more diy, so more modelling time!was told by another type of "model" that B&Q is known as Bondage Quatermasters in the fetish & modeling scene Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted June 24, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 24, 2015 This badly worded email i get from work earlier made me laugh....... "A few weeks ago you both did an assessment on Warrington drivers can you confirm who to roger." I must add rodger is a man, not an action!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkie_pudd Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) This badly worded email i get from work earlier made me laugh....... "A few weeks ago you both did an assessment on Warrington drivers can you confirm who to roger." I must add Rodger is a man, not an action!! my reply would have started by - 10-4 Rodger, over & out Then add the relevant details required - ha ha Edited June 24, 2015 by yorkie_pudd 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 25, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 25, 2015 This badly worded email i get from work earlier made me laugh....... "A few weeks ago you both did an assessment on Warrington drivers can you confirm who to roger." I must add rodger is a man, not an action!! Reminds me about a friend that was a fireman for a while on Victorian Railways. One day they hit a cow & reported it (to cover for delay) as 'cow hit, possibly injured as it ran off'. Head Office kept asking what action the driver took to pursue the victim, for which he ignored, several times. After a while, he received a letter threatening suspension for refusing to answer. He replied, that they uncoupled the loco & took it off the track and gave chase over the paddocks (fields), but was unable to catch the presumably slightly injured beast. Never heard a thing after that! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wollastonblue Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Thought I'd add a new photo of my little boy, who has developed an interested in trains (phew!). We had a recent holiday in Kent, and the RHDR ran through the campsite we stopped at, so we took him on it. This is now my wallpaper on my computer at work, and I only have to look at it and it cheers me up. 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Worsdell forever Posted June 25, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 25, 2015 Thought I'd add a new photo of my little boy, who has developed an interested in trains (phew!). We had a recent holiday in Kent, and the RHDR ran through the campsite we stopped at, so we took him on it. This is now my wallpaper on my computer at work, and I only have to look at it and it cheers me up. So you arrive at the campsite and say 'Oh look, there's a railway running through the campsite, what a surprise...' Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Did that this year, for a Valentines treat rented a secluded cottage in Norfolk, which just happened to have the Bure Valley Railway running just outside! She did not mind at all! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
wollastonblue Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 So you arrive at the campsite and say 'Oh look, there's a railway running through the campsite, what a surprise...' It was a Sun Holiday, and my wife said we'll take a year off Cornwall, and she wanted to go to Port Lympne Wildlife Park, so Romney Sands fitted the bill. The fact the RHDR ran through it was a bonus. Shaun had great fun waving to the trains as they passed through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lurker Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) If you look very carefully from the train as it gets near to Hythe you can make out Port Lympne. I've not spotted the steam from the train from the wildlife park though! Edited June 25, 2015 by The Lurker 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted June 25, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted June 25, 2015 So you arrive at the campsite and say 'Oh look, there's a railway running through the campsite, what a surprise...' You get the other half to organise it & you grudgingly accept that you're going, until she mentions the place name & you go OK then. When you get there act surprised & innocent! Since you had no input, not your fault! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Just received this on the Interwebby: A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves, which thrilled her immensely.At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl tookher 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money to the bank the next day to open a savings account.At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'. 'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier. The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.' 'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?' The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:'I think so. Provided those w****** at J****** deliver the f****** bricks on time!!. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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