bluebottle Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 A typical line from the irascible Inspector Barlow giving an unfortunate copper a bollocking in "Z Cars" - "You're about as much use as a book with the pages torn out and the batters thrown away!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 10, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 10, 2014 (edited) Now .. "As welcome as a fart in a Space-suit" - discuss. Your suit or someone-else's? Hum, since some sort of plumbing between the two is required, how do you get the victim to agree? Some sort of Masochism/######? Edited Censored again, that's twice tonight. Sad ism. Edited September 10, 2014 by kevinlms Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 (edited) I remember, many moons ago, reading an anecdote from a cricketer facing the bowling with Fred Trueman and Brian Close fielding at silly mid-on and silly mid-off. As the bowler started his run-up, Trueman said: "Nah then, Closey, mi old fruit, 'as thi 'eerd t' one about the one-legged astronaut?" The batsman was still thinking: "One-legged astronaut?" as his wicket was demolished. What really bugged him was that he never did get to hear the punchline ... Edit: typo. Edited September 10, 2014 by bluebottle Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 this has just left me speechless please donate to help if you can https://www.justgiving.com/dogshomefire/ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nelson Jackson Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 So true lol...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointstaken Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Bluebottle's anecdote reminds of the case a couple of years ago where the batsman got out when the wicket keeper was, shall we say, rather loquacious. The batsman then turned round and laid the keeper out cold. so batsman and keeper were both out. Dennis Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 There I was, without a paddle to my name..................... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold roundhouse Posted September 12, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 12, 2014 (edited) What great sign to have next to a bridge on a layout!! Edit Just need another sign below it saying no paddling Edited September 12, 2014 by roundhouse Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium petethemole Posted September 12, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 12, 2014 Yesterday morning during the BBC Breakfast weather report the subtitles warned of occasional "folk patches". I'll leave it there....... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pointstaken Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Has anyone noticed the number of retailers who have separate sections for women and for beauty ? Are they trying to tell us something ? Dennis Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir douglas Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Not sure if it's just me and my sense of humour, but I always find it slightly funny when all these fanciful automated announcements go wrong on modern rolling stock. Like this very chatty London Overground 378 - Where you cannot alight from the rear part of this train, You can alight from Coaches 12345. Or this TPE 185 - Where Vera will make sure you won't get caught short, but she's not sure where you should leave your luggage! (That one may or not be faked, still worth a laugh though!) sounds like it just ran through every recording on the system Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 A different slant on xenophobia.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnout Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter220950 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Just had my new passport, turned to the last pages only to find this:- So I took it off Which made me think Why bother putting it on in the first place???????????? 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Mikkel Posted September 18, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 18, 2014 (edited) I really like this sign from a Scottish polling station on BBC today :-) Edited September 19, 2014 by Mikkel Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted September 19, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 19, 2014 (edited) Edited September 19, 2014 by big jim Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium TheQ Posted September 23, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 23, 2014 luckily some one will do it! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozexpatriate Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Wave an iOS8 exclusive iWave surely? (As in I wave goodbye to my iPhone.) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 wrt my previous 'wave' post - many have done so, broken phone and microwave too. But, I used to clean pc keyboards by putting them in the dishwasher. That actually worked very well. Give them a good shake afterwards, and generally had to wait a week for them to dry out. Keyboards are cheaper, these days. Many years ago, I knew a clock maker in Bristol. He told me of a lady who came into his shop, wanting a cheap alarm clock repaired. He explained that it would need a good clean before he could check it out, and it would cost 30/- for that. She didn't want to pay, the clock being ten bob new, but still pestered him to sort it out. In exasperation he suggested she took it home and boiled it. She did, it worked, and she came back to thank him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkie_pudd Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) for those who don't have a microwave to iwave charge their new ifone 6 - a toaster will do to heatwave it edit: same result knackered phone ha ha Edited September 23, 2014 by yorkie_pudd Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bike2steam Posted September 24, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 24, 2014 Well it made me , totally fearless, my smallest granddaughter decided to sit astride my biggest dog. 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frappington Jct Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Why would anyone buy a train pack off Amazon which has a completely different picture to what it's advertising? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
69843 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Quick, there might be a cheap DoG on there under the Sentinal listing! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold big jim Posted September 26, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 26, 2014 Wasnt sure whether to put this in bargain hunters or the smile thread! Just got this from a charity shop in banbury, lurking at the back of the shelf for £2 but worth a fair bit more An original 1981 rubiks cube, complete with box and instructions Dunno if i'll still be smiling later when i throw it against a wall in frustration 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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