DonBradley Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Bon Voyage Mike.and Trev1 Happy Holiday Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 Ian, I am so sorry to read your news. Tony 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixoh8sixoh Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Sincere condolencies from me and the family too. Anything I can do, please let me know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Y Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I hadn't been up to speed with Ian's sad news until he dropped me a PM this morning and the speed of events is very saddening. I'm a hard old git but I have to admit this has genuinely made me weep. Of course I didn't know Debs but I have met Ian and he's just as he is on here, charming, considerate and level-headed. I do feel so genuinely sorry for you chap. As you said in the email the most appropriate way of marking Debs' passing is to support a cancer charity. When your'e able to do let me know what you choose and we'll use the site to make a little good come from such a tragedy. You've got an army of friends on here who'll do anything we can for you although the most you'll probably want us to do is listen to you so feel free to bend our ears. 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 838rapid Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Sorry to hear your sad news Ian. We will all be here waiting for your return when your able and ready. Take care Mate 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold RedgateModels Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 My condolences Ian, our thoughts are with you at this time. Wholly agree with Andy's comments about a fundraiser etc in the fullness of time. We may be only cyber friends but I hope that the support from the site can help you someway in this terrible time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ian Hargrave Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 From one Ian to his namesake,my thoughts are with you. You have a whole body of friends around you.This shared passion of ours can be a way of easing the pain.In some small way,we all can share your grief . 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold grandadbob Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 So sorry to hear this sad news Regards Bob 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Deepest condolences Ian , a shock to come back this afternoon to hear this sad news. Thoughts will be with you over the coming days and weeks . Edited September 5, 2012 by Sidecar Racer 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold PhilH Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 Really sad to hear that Ian. I can't think of much to say really except for Deb there's no more pain worry or suffering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Ian, deepest and sincere condolences- at least her pain is gone - there is no more I can say Jack Edited September 5, 2012 by shortliner 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Oldddudders Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted September 5, 2012 It's odd. I have been totally matter-of-fact all day. I have seen the nurses, gently declined the offer to see Deb lying in the morgue - after all, I kissed her this morning while she was still breathing, talked to the intern - who gently rejected Deb's organ donor card due to the cause of death, which does seem reasonable! and I've been to the state office in the hospital, where registration kinda starts (her maiden name is really important. lady can't understand why it isn't in her passport). In order for that process to produce a death cert, I need to nominate a funeral director, which I thought I had slightly more time to do, but there we are. All that, and the upper lip never quivered. Read your warmth on here and I'm off! Deb and I became an item 39 years ago this week. At that time, my mother was on her last legs with cancer on the liver..... 22 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2012 I don't think there is one single right way of dealing with situations like yours, Ian, so I guess what it always comes down to is taking every day, every hour, as it comes, because it will be alright in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 All that, and the upper lip never quivered. Read your warmth on here and I'm off!t Let it flow, it's all part of the process. Deb and I became an item 39 years ago this week. At that time, my mother was on her last legs with cancer on the liver..... ....and now you've got me going. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Due to what I do for a living, death has been part and parcel of my job. And when you work in Oncology, you are always aware of how this disease devastates people, both patients and the families. A friend, Oncologist and colleague of mine who I respect greatly told me something that may help: sometimes Death comes as a thief and we must stop him from stealing, but sometimes Death comes as a friend and we must step aside and welcome him... Death is the liberator of him whom freedom cannot release, the physician of him whom medicine cannot cure, and the comforter of him whom time cannot console. CHARLES CALEB COLTON My condolences F edited for formatting Edited September 6, 2012 by iL Dottore 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashcombe Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 There is little I can add to the warm, supportive messages on here. As someone has said, the pain is over for Deb but for you the healing will take longer. And it can be the little things that can start the tears. But that is part of the grieving and cannot be denied. Along with your many friends on here and beyond, I'm sending caring thoughts. I'm sure you find all the concern being shown of great comfort. Look after yourself and I hope you continue to receive helpful advice from the Funeral Directors et al as you deal with the aftermath of your loss. It must be eight years this week since you and Deb moved to France! Strange to think of these "anniversaries". Take care, Ian. x 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2012 Death is the liberator of him whom freedom cannot release, the physician of him whom medicine cannot cure, and the comforter of him whom time cannot console. CHARLES CALEB COLTON I never heard this quote before, but it certainly is a very concise descriptive of what usually appears to be something that cannot be described in any appropriate way. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium eldavo Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Can't think of anything meaningful to say. Look after yourself Ian. Cheers Dave Edited September 5, 2012 by eldavo 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 You've been very strong for Deb, Ian. Nothing wrong with letting go a bit now. Just deal with the things you must and don't hide away. All the same it's a bluddy time for you and only more time will help a little. My deepest respects. 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Y Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Ian dropped me a line a little earlier to nominate Imperial Cancer Research as an appropriate charity. This is now part of Cancer Research UK and I've set up a JustGiving page to channel any donations from any forum members or readers who want to chuck some online coppers in the hat for a worthy cause. Any donations go straight to the charity and they do all of the Gift Aid work where necessary so it's simple and guaranteed. RMweb always has been a community and we do share the triumphs and heartbreak of those community members even though they may not be a physical or conventional friend. I know a good number of people who know Ian through RMweb and several members have got to know him on his occasional visits back to England; even if you didn't know Ian it's still a heartbreaking story and it's a worthy cause to support. The JustGiving page can be found here http://www.justgiving.com/rmweb Thank you. 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurenceb Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Thanks for that Andy Laurence 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coombe Barton Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Ian So sorry to hear this. Nothing any of us can say is going to help, You know you're in our thoughts. John 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Max Stafford Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Just logged on and seen this Ian. I'm so sorry mate. I can't wish you more than all your other friends on here and can barely imagine how it must feel when it has come to this in barely no time at all. You will cope with this in your own way and at your own pace, but I wish you the strength to get through this trying time. The good memories of those 39 years will remain with you forever though and will serve as a torch guiding you to the happier times that promise still to come. Take care mate, we will still be here when you need us. Dave. Edited September 5, 2012 by Max Stafford 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted September 5, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 5, 2012 I can't say more than has already been said - when you are ready for us, we are here for you, My deepest sympathies at this difficult time, 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon hudson Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 So sorry to hear this Ian you will both be in my prayers tonight I can only echo others we will be here when you are ready Simon 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now