Early Risers.

[AndyB]

Morning all,

Halfway through the long weekend - been given Monday off too.

Work on the layout continues apace. 

But how practical to have a removable baseboard.

Answer. Not my preferred option. 

Permission to move the under-baseboard chest freezer sought. 

And permission granted. 

 

Meantime tomato plants repotted.  Sweet peas coning along. Basil germinating...

 

And as an aside - hopefylly a short back and asides - hair clippers ordered. Youtube video on diy haircuts warched.  What could possibly go wrong?

 

Some hair clippers seem to be remarkably precise withe adjustments down to 0.2mm. 

I'm told this is so pictures can be shaved into people's hair. Presumably Frosty the Snowman in my case.

 

But wait.

What if static grass needs to be height adjusted! This is THE gadget. We've all been blind all these years!

[JohnDMJ]

 

2 hours ago, Barry O said:

Ey up!

 

Cats like me..I can take them or leave them. I would like to have a dog but until I stop umpiring (which may be sooner rather than later) I won't get one.

 

Back in my ACU&S days, I could always recognise a 'cricket' dog. NEVER crossed the boundary!

[81C]

Morning All 

overcast

YAWN 

Stay Safe B.O.Red-Totears

 

BTW does anyone know of any good jokes to liven these pages up 

Edited May 10, 2020 by 81C
typo

[iL Dottore]

34 minutes ago, jamie92208 said:

...and PLEASE, no more mental images. It's before the watershed and some of us are delicate creatures...

I heartily concur, with these latest postings ERs is veering dangerously close to NSFW territory.

 

HH in a thong?
ChrisF in speedos?

What terrifying images will be conjured up next? Jamie92208 in a French basque? iL Dottore in tights?, The Stationmaster in a miniskirt? JohnDMJ in a peignoir?

This HAS to stop.

 

I may well need chemical and pharmaceutical assistance In sleeping tonight.

 

Can we please return to posting cute pictures of cats and dogs and writing about M O D E L. T R A I N S ?
 

Thank you

[Happy Hippo]

19 minutes ago, 81C said:

Morning All 

overcast

YAWN 

Stay Safe B.O.Red-Totears

 

BTW does anyone know of any good jokes to liven these pages up 

Q:   What's the difference between a Boeing 737 Max and Covid 19?

 

A:   At least Covid 19 is airborne.

[Happy Hippo]

13 minutes ago, iL Dottore said:

What terrifying images will be conjured up next? 

Not sure about the tights,  the picture I really want to conjure up is:

 

iL Dottore wearing his famed Toblerone codpiece.

 

(We assume it would have to be one of the big bars!)

Edited May 10, 2020 by Happy Hippo

[PhilJ W]

Morning all from Estuary-Land. Ian A's problem with blocked drains reminded me of an incident that occured in one of the blocks of flats owned by the council I worked for. A family lived on the third or fourth floor of a 16 floor block of flats. They went away for a fortnights holiday and a day or two later someone on the upper floors flushed a disposable nappy down the 9 inch down pipe. The nappy got stuck and blocked the pipe just below their outlet. I leave it to your imagination what they came home to (sorry Flavio).

7 hours ago, iL Dottore said:

AndyY!

AndyY!!

AndyY!!!

Where’s the &*@#&# groan button when you need it.

 

WE DEMAND A GROAN BUTTON!

 

Thank you.

The AWL will have to suffice in the meantime.

 

2 hours ago, chrisf said:

 

Flavio, I think I am guilty of reading more than there was into what you said.  "Wonderfully OTT" is much more like it.  As for boldness, I have a long way to go by comparison with some.   Not for me is the scanty apparel of those marching in the parade at Sydney Mardi Gras.  Pink speedos?  No thanks!

 

Chris 

Don't give HH ideas he has enough of his own as it is.

29 minutes ago, 81C said:

Morning All 

overcast

YAWN 

Stay Safe B.O.Red-Totears

 

BTW does anyone know of any good jokes to liven these pages up 

 

8 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

Q:   What's the difference between a Boeing 737 Max and Covid 19?

 

A:   At least Covid 19 is airborne.

He said good jokes.

[Chris116]

59 minutes ago, 81C said:

Morning All 

overcast

YAWN 

Stay Safe B.O.Red-Totears

 

BTW does anyone know of any good jokes to liven these pages up 

If you want good jokes then go to the forum joke thread. On second thoughts you did ask for "good" jokes so maybe get a boxed set of Morecambe and Wise or The Two Ronnie's! 

[BSW01]

Good dafternoon everyone 

 

Late on parade, but it is Sunday. The weather has definitely changed, dull and cloudy and a lot colder, I won't be having the workshop windows open or leaving the door open today. 

 

Time to start making a few more operating arms. 

 

Back later 

[grandadbob]

Many years ago we had a really good local butcher but sadly he is no longer with us. I used to love going in there, the place was immaculate.

One day I went in for some steak and a pound of sausages. I watched as he carefully put the meat on the scales, using some tongs and then carefully wrapping it all up. I remarked on his care and attention but then noticed that around his neck was some string. I asked him about this and he said "Hygiene old chap. If I get caught short and have to pop out to the loo the string is attached to my old feller and I just pull it and out it pops which means I don't have to touch it."

"How do you put it back?" I asked.

"I'd have thought that was obvious" said he, "I use the tongs!"

Edited May 10, 2020 by grandadbob

[The Stationmaster]

G'day all.

 

Bit windy and distinctly cooler out there and the lad seems distinctly disinterested in heading to Tesco so I doubt we'll get a 'paper today - I think the mnaagement are currently trying to encourage movement on his part.  Notwithstanding teh wind there is still bunting up in various places along the road including ours, no - our bunying has now been taken down before being blown away..

 

As far as various risks of infection, serious reaction to it, and death from it, it looks as if the UK is down to misleading, incredibly misleading, and utterly ridiculous 'statistics' being bandied about however it suits the bandier.  so certain racial characteristics are supposedly more likely to die from it than others but what is being said about those statistics doesn't agree with the death rates!  Certain pre0-conditions make treatment much less likely to succeed (which does seem logical from the relevant numbers but a lot of other stuff is just babble.  Simple conclusion is that there are higher risk (of serious illness and death) conditions.  It all seems a bit like arguing that EM is better than OO and P4 is better than EM and DCC is better than DCC bit nobody has actually done any proper analysis or isk assessment of how these things combine to produce the best or worse outcome.  Best answer seems to be don't catch it.  Answer on the economy seems to be equally variable - if people try to do business within the current constraints they can do quite well; if they don't  try then their business is harmed - all blindingly obvious to me.

 

More immediately the garden has definitely benefitted from the fine weather and availability of man & woman power and time seems to go at its normal pace for me but within a somewhat smaller geographical envelope than normal and we have an excellent community spirit built up in our road.  it wasn'T bad to start with but it is now a lot stronger and we hope collectively to try to keep this sort of thing going in post Covid times - whenever or whatever they turn out to be.  And there aren't many of those bl**dy aeroplanes disturbing things and polluting the local atmosphere.  So it ain't all bad - not that it's exactly good of course.   Biggest problem - 'the room; in the garage is largely inaccessible when it should really be getting a sort out but I did get to teh G scale motive power the other day to make sure it still looks nice.

 

Have a good day one and all and stay safe.

[jamie92208]

I encountered  blocked drains before I got hitched. I lived in one of the middle ones of a row of 4 terraced houses. The sewer ran alo g the back yard but was unadopted till it got out into the road.  The drains blocked and mine and Nllie's house next to me had a problem.  I got someone with some rods to come and investigate so that evening we all gsthered to watch the proceedings. The guy started lifting covers, no great problem under Nellie's and mine. Then he lifted the one on the other side of mine. This house belonged to a recently married young couple who were out watching with us. The lid was lifted and the whole pit was full with lots of used condoms, tied at the neck floating in the sh1t.  Christine, the wife, suddenly  went as red as a beetroot, shreiked and rushed indoors. The problem eas quickly solved after that.  There is a good mental image to aid digestion if your Sunday lunch.

 

Jamie

 

 

[iL Dottore]

2 minutes ago, jamie92208 said:

a good mental image to aid digestion if your Sunday lunch....

Strangely enough, whilst I could happily observe an autopsy and then go lunch immediately thereafter, or chat with a surgeon who was elbow deep in a patient’s abdomen, I really can’t watch these things on film/TV/YouTube. It’s either live or not at all...

Curious, really.

And now for the official “groan of the day” joke...

 

Three friends, an engineer, a painter and a council employee were having their usual after work drink at the Dog and Duck, when talk turned to the nature of God. The engineer voiced the opinion that God must be an engineer as nothing else would adequately explain the complex engineering marvel that is the human body. The artist friend, naturally disagreed, saying that God was undoubtably an artist, as only an artist could create such beauty that is the human body. Finally, the council employee shook his head, rather sadly, and said “you’re both wrong, God is a council planning officer“ Bemused, the engineer and the painter asked how on earth could that be so; their friend - the council employee - replied “only a council planning officer would put the sewage works next to the playground”
 

Enjoy Sunday!

[jamie92208]

5 minutes ago, iL Dottore said:

 “only a council planning officer would put the sewage works next to the playground”

 

Enjoy Sunday!

In real life they were usually located on the lowest boundary of each town which usually meant next to the council estates and just upwind of the neighboring towns posh area. Bradford's is nicely upwind of Rawdon and Guisely.

 

Jamie

Edited May 10, 2020 by jamie92208

[roundhouse]

6 minutes ago, iL Dottore said:

Strangely enough, whilst I could happily observe an autopsy and then go lunch immediately thereafter, or chat with a surgeon who was elbow deep in a patient’s abdomen, I really can’t watch these things on film/TV/YouTube. It’s either live or not at all...

Surely they were dead!

[BoD]

4 minutes ago, jamie92208 said:

In real life they were usually located on the lowest boundary of each town whichbusually meant next to the council estates and just upwind of the neighboring towns posh area. Bradford's is nicely upwindbifvRawdon and Guisely.

 

Jamie

 

And this country's prevailing wind explains why, quite often the 'west end' of towns and cities is the posh end the 'east end' is somewhat poorer and industrial.

Just though I would throw that one in for free.

[The Lurker]

Greetings all from Sidcup where the early sun is being replaced by grey clouds. It was still quite warm when we did our exercise walk earlier but we are told it is to get colder.

 

yesterday saw an ocado delivery with one or two substitute items and one missing altogether. I also mowed the lawn and cut back some of the unruly ivy.

 

today has seen two potential culinary fails; first Mrs Lurker misinterpreted the recipe that Younger Lurker has picked from a new recipe book (prawn and courgette linguini) and we have only 1/4 of the ingredients and second the attempted brownies seem to have got wrong. The first is remedial easily but I don’t know about the second. Either way I know it is best not to offer to intervene and merely provide suitable praise for the result

 

[The Stationmaster]

30 minutes ago, iL Dottore said:

Strangely enough, whilst I could happily observe an autopsy and then go lunch immediately thereafter, or chat with a surgeon who was elbow deep in a patient’s abdomen, I really can’t watch these things on film/TV/YouTube. It’s either live or not at all...

Curious, really.

 

I have that sort of reaction in another way bodies and bits thereof are obviously  far from pleasant but I can manage far better with seeing them than the sight of a hypodermic needle heading for a target area on my person.  and having told the Doctor my feelings about needles just before my knee injection he then proceeded to use the biggest needle I'd ever seen - before he told me that would not be the one he'd be using on my knee, he seemed to enjoy taking his time to tell me that.

[Gwiwer]

Afternoon all.  The Hill of Strawberries dawned sunny and pleasantly warm though a fresh northerly wind had sprung up.  It has become grey and cold in the aforesaid wind and we have had to turn the heating on.  I wonder whether I shall see snow fall on my birthday this year.  I have managed that feat in both hemispheres despite it being most unlikely in either at the time.  

 

Puss-features is a little poorly today and was yesterday too.  Off his food and, of a little more concern, not drinking either.  Yesterday all he wanted was to sleep but today he is more alert and responsive though still spending most of his time on the sofa.  He suffers from a very slow alimentary canal and always has done.  We think he is uncomfortable and waiting for a movement as there has been no evidence on the past 36 hours or so.  He was taken to the vet about this a couple of years back but refused point blank to accept any form of medication so we shall have to await developments.  If he is still unwell tomorrow we shall call the vet for advice.  

 

The G-word is on hold owing to the sharp deterioration in weather conditions though it isn't raining currently.  The M-word is about to be substituted.  Muggercoffy first, methinks.  Back later.  

 

For all who wanted one here is a small gift for you to play with:  

 

Edited May 10, 2020 by Gwiwer

[81C]

2 hours ago, Chris116 said:

If you want good jokes then go to the forum joke thread. On second thoughts you did ask for "good" jokes so maybe get a boxed set of Morecambe and Wise 

Are you taking the p!ss 

[JohnDMJ]

 

1 hour ago, iL Dottore said:

"only a council planning officer would put the sewage works next to the playground”

 

 

Enjoy Sunday!

Wrong! Speaking as a Mechanical Engineer, that's the definition of a Civil Engineer!

[Coombe Barton]

56 minutes ago, Gwiwer said:

 

[45156]

Afternoon All

 

All posts read and rated, and that has taken quite some time - however, it's done, and I offer the usual greetings to the ailing, the celebrating, and anybody else who deserves them.

 

Grouting in the bathroom got touched up, and looks a lot better now - and that's it for what I did today.  We both spent about an hour on a Wentworth jigsaw, and we have been very brave this time, and are trying a 500 piece which is about three times as hard as the 250 piece examples which we have been doing - at the rate we're going, the lockdown will be well finished before the puzzle is. 

 

I hope that those expecting a loosening of the lockdown (by which I don't only mean here, but in the wider populace aren't too disappointed when there is not a lot of change. 

 

Tomorrow is the weekly fodder run so it's an early start to get to Lidl for 7.45.

 

Regards to All

Stewart

[Chris116]

14 minutes ago, Coombe Barton said:

 

Edited May 10, 2020 by Chris116

[Gwiwer]

13 minutes ago, 45156 said:

I hope that those expecting a loosening of the lockdown (by which I don't only mean here, but in the wider populace aren't too disappointed when there is not a lot of change.

Indeed.  But what we want - and need for the sake of sanity - is the timeline and road out.  

 

The message, according to numerous press reports already today, changes in England to "Stay Alert" rather than "Stay Home" which implies a little more freedom of movement.  Wales is set to de-restrict the number of exercise walks per day and therefore align with the other home nations which never had a formal limit in the first place.  

 

We may learn more at 19 o'clock.  It is already known that numerous employers are bringing some staff back from tomorrow.  We expect that some single-staffed or socially-distanced coffee shops will re-open for takeaway as customer numbers grow to make it viable but not to the extent of causing a crowd.