RMweb Premium Popular Post newbryford Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 13 hours ago, BoD said: I spent the first fifty or so years of my life trying, mostly successfully, to avoid being photographed and then some smart arras decided it would be a good idea to build a camera into their phone.. I refer the honourable gentleman to this: 9 16 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post The Stationmaster Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 Morning all, The sun is shining, the Good Doctor has had a lie in until 08.30 and is now doing the weeding of the veg patch and prepping the area for the runner beans, and Mrs Stationmaster and I are heading for Tesco to buy the 'papers and whatever e;se has previously been forgotten. Meanwhile some Tits have settled into nest box and appear to be at the stage of feeding their offspring and the G word has been mentioned - i may (or may not) be some time. Have a good day one and all 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post grandadbob Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) Quote New laptop arrived one minute into the designated one hour time slot and I've stoked the boiler, fired it up and this is my post with it. Early days yet but it is a massive improvement on the old one. It has been suggested by Steve that I don't attempt to transfer stuff from the old one until he's here to supervise. ("Just in case you push the wrong button.") He's usually right so I'll do as he says. Edited May 12, 2019 by grandadbob Fat fingers 19 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold grandadbob Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 12, 2019 Quote Must have pushed a wrong button 'cos I keep getting this quote box 1 9 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BSW01 Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 12, 2019 Good morning everyone Another lie-in this morning, so a late breakfast. Currently in the sunshine with the workshop door open and listening to a mix of music. Just about to re-attach the valve gear to the L class and hopefully it will work. But just in case I ordered a new set from Langley lady night. Back later. 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 12, 2019 48 minutes ago, grandadbob said: ("Just in case you push the wrong button.") I guess in this case, there's very little chance of blood being spilled if things go wrong...………... 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightengine Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 What goes around, comes around. Not as offensively though. 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Kingzance Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 12, 2019 An excellent contribution lightengine, it will keep me smiling most of the day. As the sun is shining, I was "invited" to tend the garden - I got a pass, not a distinction. Chauffeuring duties now beckon, keep up the good work all! 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium TheQ Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 12, 2019 I'm knackered again, 08:30 to trailer, paint outside, ( Buckingham green) 10:00 start building ramp while SWMBO starts painting the inside ( white emulsion) 11:00 ramp completed, start on door, SWMBO gives up painting, her arms aren't up to it. 12:30 most of door built, run out of screws. Need hinges, I start painting inside. Swmbo takes Ben the border collie for his long walk 14:00 inside painted. To be done next week Paint ramp, find some way of mounting it on front of trailer. Finish, fit and paint door. Make support for back of trailer.. Excuse me while I wander off and order screws and hinges.. 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Simon G Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 A great day to be on the Ratty again today. I enjoyed Friday, but it was very cold, whereas today was sunny and much warmer. Two diesel turns completed, with relatively few passengers, possibly as they are all at home watching the football! what I had forgotten today is that it is the day of the Fred Whitton Challenge, which involves about 2500 cyclists doing a route around the Lakes of 114 miles, and going over all the major road passes. As a result, there were a lot of them going up the Eskdale road heading for the 1 in 4 of Hardknott and Wrynose passes. A climb to sort the men from the boys! Here is a guard’s eye view from the 09.25 diesel about half a mile from Ravenglass, looking up to the hills, with Scafell in he right background. 25 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post Tony_S Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 We are in Enfield. I dropped Aditi off at her Mum’s and carried on round the corner to Aditi’s sister’s house to leave our old TV with them. Theirs was starting to fail and they can’t decide what they want so having one that was cluttering up our guest bedroom seemed sensible. It just fitted in the boot of my car too. There was a problem matching a Virgin remote control but I suggested that perhaps not entering return after entering a 4 digit code was the correct procedure. I also mentioned that it was really easy with Sky remotes! Then when I arrived at MiLs she asked me to sort out her Sky remote and it wasn’t that simple! Fixing MiL’s under sink bin wasn’t too difficult. MiL said she hadn’t broken it, it was the carer who helps on a couple of days a week. I also rehung the cupboard door. Not sure if the problems were connected! Tony 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AndyID Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 Not actually in Dorking but doing a fair bit of dorking around in the wee jam jar. Took daughter to an Irish pub in Seal Beach last night. I thought I might see a lot of Spiders here but Ive not seen another on the road anywhere. 20 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold grandadbob Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 12, 2019 Good oh, the quote box problem has resolved itself. Been rather lazy today. I did go the shed with the intention of cutting up some ply but was still feeling rather frail after last night's bash so opted to watch the recorded rugby instead and glad I did. A great game and I enjoyed every minute of it. The Boss has got a lamb hotpot on the go so looking forward to that along with a glass or two of Shiraz. As I seem to be fully recovered it could be beer o'clock first though. Herself has just spotted that the F 1 highlights are on at 7.00pm. Apparently it's not fair! It is fair however that certain stupid soaps are on nearly every flippin' night. Still, it won't matter to me now I've got somewhere to go and lose myself. 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Natalie Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) Hi Im really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again. I live at my 71 year old mum's as I lost my house and belongings 6 years ago. Without her I would already be dead. She is awaiting 2x TKR and 2 x THR for at least before Christmas. Her mobility was usually excellent and unaided but deteriorated literally over night to using 2 elbow crutches which are effective but obviously slow. The main issue is that she just will not accept that she needs help with things like carrying hot drinks and food around. Daily since Christmas at least I have said multiple times to her to not carry things when on crutches as they will destabilise you and increase the risk of falling. I have tried to explain that the last thing you want is a #NOF as the mortality rates are exceptionally high for the first year. But she refuses to listen. She always knows best. Apparently I am the one that is causing the problems and trying to stop her doing anything. I say on a twice daily basis that you cannot carry a glass bowl of hot porridge from the kitchen over an unsecured mat, up a 6" step whilst using both crutches but it is in one ear and out the next. Seemingly i dont know what i am talking about. Apparently she can't keep getting me to carry things despite me constantly saying that is exactly what I want you to do. I would understand if I didn't do anything and refuse to help but this is not the case. I get rhat it is frustrating but it seems as though my concerns and feelings are of no relevance or importance. What is happening is that our relationship is plunging as is my mental health as I simply can't cope with this anymore. I don't like feeling like this or causing it am scared as well that our relationship which has always been fairly good will breakdown permanently and irretrievably. I didn't have ready access to my blade or bits of glass then I would have used them but that would have something else to be slagged off for. I would dearly love to be able to swallow all my meds and be out of it all but feel guilty about that. I could get a carer I spose but can't afford it, it is my role to do the caring as I am here. There is no way she would tolerate a caret going in at set times and saying what needs to be done. I have no problem with being the carer. I just can't take the constant ignoring of my advice. I have said that it will be catastrophic if you fall and die early and rhe last thing that I want but that seemingly makes no difference. Why is it that I feel that I am being a complete for feeling this way and that maybe I dont know anything after all. Im sorry to go on like this especially when there are people with real actual problems (like Rick or John Coombe Barton and Sandy) or without a previous introduction but I do read ER every day. How do you cope or manage when making that transition from offspring to carer- even if likely to be a temporary thing? I just feel like I am getting all the frustration and anger from mother over the loss of her mobility but it is not my fault. I feel a bit better and shall return somewhat ironically to my actual real black dog (a black Patterdale terrier) Minnie the Mop who always makes things feel better Best wishes Natalie Edited May 12, 2019 by Natalie 1 32 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium 45156 Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 12, 2019 Afternoon All Two days running - wonders will never cease. I will need to visit the fangmeister tomorrow, as the tooth which has been giving trouble, and has been mended several times, is playing up again, and I fear that is now beyond repair. Oddly, I have all my top ones, except one which was so far out of position that it was extracted and had no impact at all on my bite or ability to chew. Other than that, went to the A6 car boot, and then went to admire the bluebells at Gresgarth Hall Gardens - only to find that this year, many of them are blind - and there were only about half as many as last year - still it is a beautiful garden nonetheless, and we had a cuppa and a slice of cake each while there. Then home and the G word was mentioned, so after a session of pulling weeds from between the flagstones, then a bath, I am only now getting onto RMWeb, and posting here. Hopefully back tomorow. Regards to All Stewart 6 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post 45156 Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 9 minutes ago, Natalie said: Hi Im really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again. I feel a bit better and shall return somewhat ironically to my actual real black dog (a black Patterdale terrier) Minnie the Mop who always makes things feel better Best wishes Natalie No Natalie, you are not a whining cow - you have a very difficult situation there, and even the act of posting here must have been difficult. I cannot really offer any advice, but we are all here as a virtual shoulder to cry on - and we all do, so if you want to unburden yourself here, then feel free to do so - as a visitor to ERs' you have an idea how we try to offer virtual support to each other. Kindest Regards Stewart 1 22 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Popular Post grandadbob Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) Natalie, I'm so sorry to hear of your problems and totally agree with Stewart's post. You can be sure that all ERs will give whatever support they can. A few "hearts" ticked can at the very least show you that you're not totally alone. One thing I do know from past experience is that the person lashing out very often does so because they are so frustrated at not being able to do what they want and take it out on those nearest and dearest to them. Hang in there. Bob. Edited May 12, 2019 by grandadbob 5 17 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Coombe Barton Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) 43 minutes ago, Natalie said: Why is it that I feel that I am being a complete for feeling this way and that maybe I dont know anything after all. Im sorry to go on like this especially when there are people with real actual problems (like Rick or John Coombe Barton and Sandy) or without a previous introduction but I do read ER every day. How do you cope or manage when making that transition from offspring to carer- even if likely to be a temporary thing? I just feel like I am getting all the frustration and anger from mother over the loss of her mobility but it is not my fault. Have you tried people like Age UK who offer advice? A call will find out whether they can help. And any problem needs sorting, not just the perceived serious ones. I'm managing at the moment but I will not hesitate to call someone if there's something I cannot solve. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/helping-a-loved-one/ Edited May 12, 2019 by Coombe Barton 6 5 4 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 12, 2019 Afternoon all from Estuary-Land. Again today's expedition barely dented the pile of modelling tokens, just a few bits for the young mans layout. Natalie, I hope that things get better for you, I cant add anything to Stewart's and John's excellent advice. 14 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laurenceb Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 Natalie, that is what we are hear for. To offer help and to be a safety valve when things get too much. Dont bottle it up, that is the way to disaster 2 17 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightengine Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, Natalie said: Hi Im really unsure about whether to post this or not as there are people far worse off and all I am doing is just being a miserable whining cow. But I am really at the end of my tether now and doing my damdest not to od or self harm again. I live at my 71 year old mum's as I lost my house and belongings 6 years ago. Without her I would already be dead. She is awaiting 2x TKR and 2 x THR for at least before Christmas. Her mobility was usually excellent and unaided but deteriorated literally over night to using 2 elbow crutches which are effective but obviously slow. The main issue is that she just will not accept that she needs help with things like carrying hot drinks and food around. Daily since Christmas at least I have said multiple times to her to not carry things when on crutches as they will destabilise you and increase the risk of falling. I have tried to explain that the last thing you want is a #NOF as the mortality rates are exceptionally high for the first year. But she refuses to listen. She always knows best. Apparently I am the one that is causing the problems and trying to stop her doing anything. I say on a twice daily basis that you cannot carry a glass bowl of hot porridge from the kitchen over an unsecured mat, up a 6" step whilst using both crutches but it is in one ear and out the next. Seemingly i dont know what i am talking about. Apparently she can't keep getting me to carry things despite me constantly saying that is exactly what I want you to do. I would understand if I didn't do anything and refuse to help but this is not the case. I get rhat it is frustrating but it seems as though my concerns and feelings are of no relevance or importance. What is happening is that our relationship is plunging as is my mental health as I simply can't cope with this anymore. I don't like feeling like this or causing it am scared as well that our relationship which has always been fairly good will breakdown permanently and irretrievably. I didn't have ready access to my blade or bits of glass then I would have used them but that would have something else to be slagged off for. I would dearly love to be able to swallow all my meds and be out of it all but feel guilty about that. I could get a carer I spose but can't afford it, it is my role to do the caring as I am here. There is no way she would tolerate a caret going in at set times and saying what needs to be done. I have no problem with being the carer. I just can't take the constant ignoring of my advice. I have said that it will be catastrophic if you fall and die early and rhe last thing that I want but that seemingly makes no difference. Why is it that I feel that I am being a complete for feeling this way and that maybe I dont know anything after all. Im sorry to go on like this especially when there are people with real actual problems (like Rick or John Coombe Barton and Sandy) or without a previous introduction but I do read ER every day. How do you cope or manage when making that transition from offspring to carer- even if likely to be a temporary thing? I just feel like I am getting all the frustration and anger from mother over the loss of her mobility but it is not my fault. I feel a bit better and shall return somewhat ironically to my actual real black dog (a black Patterdale terrier) Minnie the Mop who always makes things feel better Best wishes Natalie I have absolutely no idea what TKR, THR or #NOF are but you need to contact your local OT and explain to them the position and ask them to visit whilst you are there. Other than that is there a charity in your area that could help? Maybe Age Concern/ Age UK could suggest a way forward. Speaking to her gp about such dangers as carrying hot food & drinks whilst using 2 crutches may help. Do you need to consider mental capacity for your Mum? Edited May 12, 2019 by lightengine 13 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Kingzance Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted May 12, 2019 2 minutes ago, lightengine said: I have absolutely no idea what TKR, THR or #NOF are but you need to contact your local OT and explain to them the position and ask them to visit whilst you are there. Other than that is there a charity in your area that could help? Maybe Age Concern could suggest a way forward. Speaking to her gp about such dangers as carrying hot food & drinks whilst using 2 crutches may help. Do you need to consider mental capacity for your Mum? I think TKR is a total knee replacement (not a good job I understand) and a THR is a total hip replacement (far more routine these days). In all cases, there will need to be a decent recovery period during which both Natalie and her mum will need plenty of support (no pun intended in this case). Her GP should be able to escalate her case, particularly as there is now no way her mum could cope on her own and the NHS and Social Services don't need Natalie to collapse now and put more strain on them. Please feel free to drop in on ERs and offload as necessary Natalie, you have my (and I'm sure others') sympathy. 4 9 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Coombe Barton Posted May 12, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 3 hours ago, Natalie said: She is awaiting 2x TKR and 2 x THR for at least before Christmas. Her mobility was usually excellent and unaided but deteriorated literally over night to using 2 elbow crutches which are effective but obviously slow. The main issue is that she just will not accept that she needs help with things like carrying hot drinks and food around. Natalie The hot drinks - could I suggest that you get an insulated mug with lid and handle, not to drink from but as a teapot. Make the drink in the mug, have an empty cup at the drinking point and carry the hot in the mug then pour. That way mum would retain her independence but give you less stress. Hot liquid is more dangerous that hot food (exception is soup) of spilled in flesh as the liquid will soak and spread, lumps of food don't. 10 9 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightengine Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 35 minutes ago, Coombe Barton said: Natalie The hot drinks - could I suggest that you get an insulated mug with lid and handle, not to drink from but as a teapot. Make the drink in the mug, have an empty cup at the drinking point and carry the hot in the mug then pour. That way mum would retain her independence but give you less stress. Hot liquid is more dangerous that hot food (exception is soup) of spilled in flesh as the liquid will soak and spread, lumps of food don't. The trouble Natalie has ( like I am experiencing with my Mother) is making her Mum understand that at times like the present she needs to accept that she needs help. 2 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post New Haven Neil Posted May 12, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2019 9 minutes ago, lightengine said: The trouble Natalie has ( like I am experiencing with my Mother) is making her Mum understand that at times like the present she needs to accept that she needs help. I agree, but don't have any advice that would help, other than to speak to your GP - really, you need to seem them for both of you. Back to trivia - another busy little day, ride out on the bikes, g word, work in the garage stripping the old HO layout boards and trying to decide what to do in O. A few ideas have germinated, but I have decided to make new boards that will live on top of the old flat earth ones. I need to be able to tip them over for wiring etc as I am no longer capable of crawling around underneath. Awl alert stuff. A flat earth, today. 21 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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