Early Risers.

[newbryford]

Up to 90%. Which obviously wasn't quite effective enough, as the survivors had developed an immunity to myxo which meant that they could breed like....well, you get the idea.

 

Jump to the next post if you don't like bad punchlines.

 

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?".

The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

 

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

 

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

 

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie.

 

The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

 

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman".

 

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

 

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year.

 

In walks the rabbit and says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman"

 

Smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties".

 

The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie".

 

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it?"

 

The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

 

The barman, with a roguish smile says "Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it".

 

"Ok" says the rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie".

 

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves....

 

.....NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

 

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time.

 

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar. The barman says, "Who are you"

 

To which he is answered, "I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your

public house".

 

The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses came to see you and this place was famous"

 

The rabbit says, "Yes I know".

 

The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead"

 

 

The rabbit said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it".

 

The barman said "You never came back, what happened?"

 

"I DIED", said the Rabbit.

 

"NO!" said the barman, "what from".

 

After a short pause. The rabbit said...

 

"Mixin'-me-toasties".

 

 

 

You were warned.

 

Cheers,

Mick

[PhilJ W]

Another rabbit joke, Watership Down, you've read the book, seen the film but have you tried the stew? and with that I bid you goodnight.

[trisonic]

A warning not to drive over fallen power lines (about 20 miles from me):

 

http://abc7ny.com/man-dies-after-driving-around-barricade-and-onto-live-wires/3190220/

 

 

Best, Pete.

[newbryford]

A warning not to drive over fallen power lines (about 20 miles from me):

 

http://abc7ny.com/man-dies-after-driving-around-barricade-and-onto-live-wires/3190220/

 

 

Best, Pete.

 

Bad taste warning.......

 

 

 

 

He has not been positively identified.

 

I thought power lines were usually AC.....

 

Cheers,

Mick

p.s. I blame my current medication.

[The Stationmaster]

G'night all

[Barry O]

So it is a nice warm afternoon in Sydney and for reasons that escape me I await a flight home, where it will be cold and wet...pah!

 

Sleep well, I should report in during my 5 hour connection in T5...ta Boeing Allways....

[Barry O]

GDB..are they making it to order. They keep saying cars are not selling? Could it be parked in a field like a Peugeot I ordered a long time ago? Give away was delivery driver at work explaing how long it took to clean the grass out of the suspension fixings...

 

Baz

Edited March 9, 2018 by Barry O

[AndyID]

A warning not to drive over fallen power lines (about 20 miles from me):

 

http://abc7ny.com/man-dies-after-driving-around-barricade-and-onto-live-wires/3190220/

 

 

Best, Pete.

 

Oh dear!

 

We lived in the next town - Wyckoff.

Edited March 9, 2018 by AndyID

[Gwiwer]

Good Moaning. Welcome to POETS Day.

[chrisf]

Good morning one and all, with apologies to Stewart for repeating myself yesterday

 

Afte my trip to London yesterday I seem to have joined the editorial board of the HMRS Journal.  One of my duties is to solicit contributions.  Be warned.  Be very warned.

 

A loudspeaker announcement at Bedford station as I returned yesterday afternoon alerted me to the buckets and spades scheduled for Sunday, when there are no trains between St Pancras and Herne Hill.  I am to travel to Farringdon for a 4square gig at the Slaughtered Lamb.  The route suggested by National Rail Enquiries to get me from Farringdon to St Pancras after the concert is remarkable to say the least and entails going via Liverpool Street, Hackney Downs, Hackney Central and Highbury!  This appears to take into account the currrent absence of step-free access for westbound passengers at Farringdon, for I can see no other reason for deterring me from taking the Metropolitan/Circle/Hammersmith and City line.  If I am late posting on Monday morning it could be down to a very late night.

 

Today I should source lunch for Sunday and sarnies for tomorrow.  There is laundry to be done and comics to read, leavened as always with unspecified pottering.  Tomorrow I could have been in three places at once if such were possible.  Hurry up and invent the Tardis, someone.  Anyone!  One bit of good news that I forgot earlier in the week is that my local Tesco is now offering for sale its own brand of custard powder after some management clown deranged it.  I wonder who else complained?

 

Warm thoughts to all the ailing, recovering and missing

 

Chris

[grandadbob]

Good morning all,

Rather a dull start here and some hazy sunshine forecast then becoming cloudy with rain arriving later in the afternoon.

 

GDB..are they making it to order.  They keep saying cars are not selling? Could it be parked in a field like a Peugeot I ordered a long time ago? Give away was delivery driver at work explaing how long it took to clean the grass out of the suspension fixings...

 

That's what they've told me - about 18-22 weeks from date of order although it could be sooner. Also told me I could get regular updates to see whereabouts in the process it was. Presumably there's a lot on order because as far as I know it only takes a few days to actually build one. Somebody out there will know better. I've ordered the top of the range version so maybe they don't churn out as many of them. As it's a new model that only started arriving here in November, if it was in a field I doubt if much grass would have grown anyway.

 

I believe that my skill and expertise is needed today to help with one or two domestic tasks as The Boss doesn't like the Dyson. Noted other comments about these but personally don't find it too bad. They are definitely overpriced but we picked ours up on a special offer with about £100 off a couple of years ago.

 

I hear noises from upstairs so I better make her some tea.

 

Have a good one,

Bob.

Edited March 9, 2018 by grandadbob

[jamie92208]

Morning awl from a brightening village where there is still a small amount of snow ligging abaat.   After yesterdays events there is not a lot on the agenda for today.   The boss is shortly due to go out for breakfast with a mate before heading off to fat club.    Cast no 11 of 18 has been done (See my layout thread as I am in awe of the awl) and breakfast is about to be consumed. After that there will be a shopping expedition and this evening there will be a trip to the club so not a bad day in prospect.   

 

Regards to all and hope to hear an update from re Debs.

 

Jamie

[AndyB]

GDB..are they making it to order. They keep saying cars are not selling? Could it be parked in a field like a Peugeot I ordered a long time ago? Give away was delivery driver at work explaing how long it took to clean the grass out of the suspension fixings...

 

Baz

 

 

[New Haven Neil]

Morning, frosty again out, other relationships OK.

 

GDB, of course not having read the manual, my recently acquired car surprised me the other day by speaking to me - wasn't aware it was able to do so, just hit a button (there's far too many) on the wheel accidentally when parking.  My response being 'what the $$$$', it selected FM on the radio!  Took me an hour to stop laughing.  The answer of course is RTFM.  That's useless of course, as half of it is 'if fitted', so then you have to try and see if it is.....mine is mid-range so some things obviously aren't.  Having said that the engine and associated stuff seems to work OK so it must have them.

[NGT6 1315]

Mawnin' awl. Looking quite sunny outside at 8ish °C. I certainly would welcome spring to be arriving, though I had a feeling as if the first pollen were making themselves felt yesterday. Given how my airways tend to be fairly sensitive, it's something to keep an eye on...

 

Bit of an impulse purchase made when I saw a Roco Trenitalia E.412 at far too good a price to miss. However, since the class had rear view mirrors retrofitted around 2010/11 and these haven't been added to the model as of yet, it'll have to go on the workbench. I suppose I could use the corresponding detailing parts from the ER20, cut to size and painted to match, which shouldn't be too hard...

 

Yeah, right, I'll leave it at that lest the wrath of the Lady of the Collies and her Veg Inserter strikes me too badly...

 

Cheerio, folks. Later.

Edited March 9, 2018 by NGT6 1315

[grandadbob]

 

GDB, of course not having read the manual, my recently acquired car surprised me the other day by speaking to me - wasn't aware it was able to do so, just hit a button (there's far too many) on the wheel accidentally when parking.  My response being 'what the $$$$', it selected FM on the radio!  Took me an hour to stop laughing.  The answer of course is RTFM.  That's useless of course, as half of it is 'if fitted', so then you have to try and see if it is.....mine is mid-range so some things obviously aren't.  Having said that the engine and associated stuff seems to work OK so it must have them.

 

Having already started to look at the manual online (which may not be the latest version) it has occurred to me that some sort of degree in Technology might be an advantage. 

[Tony_S]

Morning all.

Have a good day

Tony

[TheQ]

Mooring Awl, Inner Temple Here,

I see you lot have been rabbiting on while I've been down my hole overnight...

 

 I got home to meet an unhappy SWMBO, she had phoned me yesterday about a water leak in the Mobile home and it went to voice mail.... I only got that this morning..

As it was it only took 10 minutes to fix, a cold water push fit pipe junction, had become unpushed. I suspect in the cold weather, the cupboard had frozen,, Must remember to leave that door open to allow warmth from the anti frost heater to work..

 

I watched a recorded pre Crufts programme, Oh Dear have Channel 4 dumbed it down, Allan Carr as a presenter making very doubtful jokes, lets hope the real Crufts programmes will be better...

 

Welcome to "I wish it were a poets day."

 

Another poor nights sleep of about 4 hours followed by a little Dozing on the Sofa.

 

I am informed by Ben the Border Collie, it is light enough for me to take him on his morning patrol before I go to work.

I.E instead of hanging back in the hallway, he charged past me as I went to leave and then stood, in the middle of the garden looking at me, saying, come on then...

 

 I then had to chisel the landrover out of it's Ice cube, rain turning to frost last night, proper crunchy the grass was.

 

On the way in, another car has come to grief on the stupidly designed  Coltishall NDR round about, A black Polo I think, sat in the middle of the round about having demolished the blue left arrow sign. Thats the third or fourth one, using central parking, it's only been open about 2 months...

 

They've been patching / relaying sections of the industrial estate I work on, this seems to get an unusual amount of attention, must be something to do with there being a police station on it. They however didn't finish last night, so there is a ground out section with ramp signs, on a corner, next to parked lorries. This could cause trouble.

 

Ben the Border Collie Appreciation Society tonight, and then to Poringland Show tomorrow so some joy, Must go via the bank machine tonight to get unrecordable Muddling tokens..

 

Just been looking at the traveller that goes with a piece of equipment I'm calibrating for Poland.. Our printer obviously can't cope with the various strange accents required, I haven't a clue what two of the lines are meant to be.

 

Time to... Look on line and see if I can get the companies real address..

[81C]

I've owned cars that talk to you for some years now it's just like having a second SWMBO it doesn't listen or come up for air when the Sat Nav is engaged.

Edited March 9, 2018 by 81C

[The Lurker]

Greetings all from a slightly overcast LBG.

 

Not huge amounts to report, but I can say that our Dyson works well enough. Mrs Lurker never complains about the weight because the hoovering inevitably gets delegated to me. And yes I know "hoovering" might not be an accurate term but as far as I am concerned that word has become generic for that particular task, no doubt much to the chagrin of all other manufacturers. Part of me would love to see James Dyson's face if I told him how good his contrivances were at hoovering....

 

I suspect that the delay in building GDB's Arona comes because the factory production schedule has his particular variant slotted in for mid April. Younger Lurker would have approved of the choice because he tells me that the Arona is currently rated best in class according to Autocar!

 

Last night I kind of overheard someone else telephone conversation on the train - all about the difficulties in restoring the Manor and getting permission to use the suspension of the Grange....sadly the bloke got off the train still on the phone so not enough for me to put 2 and 2 together and make 10!

[roundhouse]

Another poor nights sleep for me. Hopefully I will get a few winks on the plane. It’s a longish flight but not as long as Baz’s.

 

Edit

Tried editing the photo orientation but hasn't done so on here.

Edited March 9, 2018 by roundhouse

[New Haven Neil]

Having already started to look at the manual online (which may not be the latest version) it has occurred to me that some sort of degree in Technology might be an advantage. 

 

I have one - doesn't help.  Although big whirling bits of metal probably isn't the type of technology you meant!  I seriously do wonder how much of these gadgets we really need, but there are good things too in modern cars.  I REALLY miss the heated windscreen from the Ford on these chilly mornings. 

[PhilJ W]

Morning all from Estuary-Land. Getting ready for a trip to the East Anglian exhibition tomorrow, drawn a few modelling tokens already. Its also my friends sons 10th birthday so they're coming with me. GDB, I bought my current car new but I had to wait an extra six weeks as the factory (in India) was on strike. Thats it for now, be back later.

[The Stationmaster]

Morning all,

 

Cloudy with rain to follow however I'm told we're going to the garden centre - hopefully my part on the process will consist solely of getting us there and back and won't include lifting anything heavier than onion sets.  My car occasionally talks to me if I happen to press the wrong button and my usual response of telling it to go forth and multiply gets 'not understood' - why can't these disembodied car voices understand plain language?  As for the same voice in the satnav it seems to have a fixation with 'turn left at the next junction' if the route has been entered backwards, weird.

 

Pleased to hear that Chris F has been given what appears to be the post of Chief Caption Checker, well deserved and congratulations.

 

Have a good day one and all and may those partaking of long distance trips on aeroplanes find it not too uncomfortable and Baz and Mrs Baz have my deepest sympathies if the quality of BA food loaded at Sydney is no better than it was when I experienced it some years back.

[chrisf]

 

Pleased to hear that Chris F has been given what appears to be the post of Chief Caption Checker, well deserved and congratulations..

 

In the interests of accuracy, my role and that of other board members is to identify and recruit potential contributors to the Journal.  Some ideas were kicked around at the meeting and I even had one myself.  Apparently I was there because I am credited with some knowledge of "early BR".  The truth is that I have an extensive library and some idea of which book to consult if a query is raised.  Who gets to check captions will depend on the subject matter but we all recognise the importance of getting it right so that those who come after us will not be misled - not by what we have done, anyway.  It wil come as no surprise to some that I write many letters to magazine editors and even less of a surprise that by no means all of them make it into print.

 

Let us see what happens when some of my captions appear in print ...

 

Chris