Early Risers.

[roundhouse]

Jock

 

Always a difficult thing to discuss but glad that you can do it so that you and all others around can do what you all think is best.

 

Let's hope it's some way off in the future as much as it can be.

 

Last night our train was the usual 7 - 8 minutes late and it was locking like we would miss the bus home form the station. So we checked the bus times heading south from Merstham station and worked out (as we left he previous station) that we would have about a 9 minute connection . However between entering the deep cutting and tunnel at Hooley and popping out the other side the bus had made up 5 minutes and as we were climbing the footbridge at Merstham we saw the bus go past. They have just to remotely controlled barriers on the down platform steamers that so you have to queue to get through he barriers then some ones ticket won't work reducing it to one barrier for both directions.

 

So it was an18 minute wait for he next one.

 

Back home some work Carried out on the N scale Banbury stock after watching Portillos new series on US railroads starting in New York.

 

Train only w minute down this morning but the two of us unable to sit together as its busier this morning.

[45156]

Morning All

 

Wow - what a start to the morning to read Jock's post, which left me very moved indeed.  What a trooper.

 

I've also caught up on everybody else's contributions, and must offer condlences to Matt on his loss.  The not saying goodby to a loved one can be very disturbing, as I know, as my dad died suddenly when I was living in Croydon and he was in Scotland - so I know from experience how it is.

 

Interesting to read the various experiences over diabetic treatment, drugs, etc.  My advice on Metformin was to take it with food - I'll run the 20 minutes after idea with the practitioner when I see him on Thursday.  My needles have always been 4mm 31 gauge, though of late I've been getting a different (cheaper?) brand called Gluco Rx which don't seem to be quite so good as the ones I had before with the occasional needle which doesn't work.

 

Today needs a trip to town to see if HMRC have kept their promise to get part of my tax rebate paid to the bank, then when I get back, need to do a bit of shoring up of the fences, which have not withstood the attentions of these wonderful named storms.

 

Any news of Pete?

 

Regards to All

Stewart

Edited February 2, 2016 by 45156

[28XX]

Good morning all,

Rather a blustery night and I was up at 4.45 as usual to take The Boss to work. Went back to bed but couldn't go back to sleep so got up again at 6.00.

Normal Tuesday here with two grandchildren coming for tea after school. I may be called upon to give hints about homework. Mind you last time Gemma asked for some help with her Maths I was completely stumped. The questions appeared to be written in Jabberwocky.

Dick- I think Joe's diabetic nurse at St.Helier is called Yvonne. If she's the same one he and his parents think she is an absolute star. He uses the 4mm needles - however he's a lot skinnier than you. If they were much longer they'd go right through him.

Jock - as John said above you continue to amaze. There should be a new rule in life that whenever anyone is feeling sorry for themselves they should "Think Jock" - that should sort it out for all of us!

Have a good one,

Bob.

Impenetrable educational aims is a particular hobby-horse of mine. Having brought up my own two kids, now in their late 20's, followed by several generations of child-minded and fostered children, I have serially failed to get on the same page as their teachers.

 

Now that we are looking after my grand niece Leah I am determined to get on top of this, given that I have more time to devote.

 

Could any teachers on here comment as to whether this is deliberate obfuscation, or not?

Edited February 2, 2016 by 28XX

[AndyID]

 I hadn't really noticed him before as a sole perpetrator.  Much of the meat of my frustration comes from the other sad thread really.  Liked your point about rusty check rails though, I have a real hang-up about that on many layouts with quite fine hand made trackwork, with the railheads of the checks polished brightly.....jars far more with me than hinged switch blades etc.

 

Yes, but I wasn't making a point. If you recall, it was a diamond

 

Anyway, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. Peco has been telling everyone they have been selling 00 track for 50 years or so. Now they are saying this is really what 00 track should look like. The good news is that the reaction has been very positive.

[Barry O]

Morning all.

Matt, my parents both died before I could get to them. I found it difficult to find closure until the funerals.

Jock, practical as ever, have you thought of talking to someone who can conduct a humanist funeral? The ones held in our family have been very much more positive to attend.

 

Today has a minor parcel to pack then cricket tonight. I may get chance to unpack my rolling stock from itstrip to Southampton.

 

Stay calm, stay positive and try to enjoy your day.

 

Baz

[brianthesnail96]

I've also caught up on everybody else's contriubutions, and must offer condilences to Matt on his loss.  The not saying goodby to a loved one can be very disturbing, as I know, as my dad died suddenly when I was living in Croydon and he was in Scotland - so I know from experience how it is.

Morning all, thanks to Stewart and everyone else for the condolences. I must admit I'm perhaps not as sad as maybe I should be- he went quickly and relatively painlessly after a good long life, and before he'd lost too much of his independence and quality of life (although he was starting to head down that road and I think he would have been housebound in the fairly near future). That's certainly how I would want to go. I would have liked to have said goodbye I admit, but we had a nice meal together as a family a week ago so at least our last meeting was on a high- plenty of good times to remember, a highlight of young Thesnail's summer holidays was a trip to Bristol Parkway to meet Granddad on an inbound HST from Paddington- I'd then be whisked onto a London bound train with him, to stay for a week. As Granddad was a retired tube train driver quite a lot of this week was spent either on or watching trains, which young Thesnail enjoyed very much.

 

Jock, I don't think planning such things is macabre at all. While I share your thoughts on how much you will actually know about it, there's no doubt that it's important to friends and family that one's life is celebrated in a manner that they would have appreciated and as such it seems an entirely sensible and indeed thoughtful course of action. You've already managed to avoid the main gripe I have with funerals, which is songs that at best only half those attending know the words/ tune to, and only a fraction of those can actually sing...

 

Coffee drunk, suppose I'd better work out what the plan is for the day. Have a good one all!   

[Donw]

Jock well said and very brave to face things in the manner you are doing. Joanna may need a lot of help from the family or Nurses. It can be very difficult when someone needs 24hour care. However I cannot see you being a difficult patient.

When it comes to funerals these are really to help the family cope with the loss. So what really matters is what will help them. The Scottish wake sounds just right to me.

My Great Uncle Perce ( great as in my Grandads Brother but I did think a lot of him) was a lifelong leg puller and joker. He had been disabled for years and was in a wheel chair. The council had re-homed them in a thirteenth floor flat. On the day of his funeral  Great Aunt Ivy with elderly relatives were all gathered in the flat. We had met there for a cup of tea to await the funeral cars. The Hearse and cars duly arrived at which point it was discovered the lift had failed. So my elderly and infirm relatives had to make their slow progress down the stairs. By the time we reached the bottom they were laughing, the general feeling was it was Perce's last joke.

Don

[HeeleyBridge]

Jock you have to sort these things out even if some find it distasteful. You put your wishes forward and your nearest and dearest either follow them or they don't (from personal experience). As Barry says above, the humanist approach works well, my Aunt's funeral last summer was pretty good, as these things go.

 

Following my aunt's death, Mum started to get her things in order, making a will that reflects how things are now, sorting out bits and pieces for me, my sister, our kids, their kids etc. Then we discussed her funeral. I'm ok with whatever Mum wants, my sister however has different ideas, which is why Mum has made it clear that I have the final say (though I'm sure my sister will be sure to have the last word).

 

Still windy here, after last night's liquid relaxation I think today will be cancelled due to lack of interest. I fell into bed at 9pm and only woke once in the small hours, my knee was not happy at all. I was up at about 5am, but  incoherent until several cups of tea and bacon sandwiches had been consumed.

 

Illegitimis non carborundum

[sixoh8sixoh]

Morning all from Scottish HQ. It was dry and bright (though blowy) as I trundled up the hill to work this morning, but is now raining (thankfully it waited till I was inside).

 

Work's been fairly hectic over the last few weeks, and I see that in the 11 days since I last checked in there have been about 40 pages, which I have to resign myself to never reading... Very short day at work planned today as I'm flying out from Edinburgh to Oslo this afternoon for a few nights. Just a short break but it ticks off another country from the map!

 

I did go and read Jock's post from earlier, given the references to it afterwards. Jock - I think it's perfectly sensible and not at all macabre to think of these things. I'm 38 and hopefully have another 50 years ahead of me but have long since said which two pieces of recorded music I'd like at my funeral - "All Things Must Pass" by George Harrison and "Do You Realize??" by The Flaming Lips. I'm not especially religious but I do like to go to church at least a couple of times a year for carol services and other reasons, and find that just being in the buildings gives me a sense of peace and calm. I think I'd like a couple of really rousing hymns that everyone can sing along to (Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer, I Vow To Thee My Country, Jerusalem... that sort of thing...).

 

Have managed to make a couple of batches of marmalade over the past few days too (Seville orange season). First batch I did pretty much on my own and has turned out fine. Second batch was done with help from the GF and has turned out like india rubber in the jars. Still, it gave me an excuse to read her the poem King John's Christmas by A.A. Milne... (I used to hear that a lot as a kid but it seems to have gone out of fashion)

 

Hope everybody is ok and coping with Storm Henry.

[AndyB]

Morning all,

 

Jock, as ever your approach to this is both practical and inspiring. 

 

All I can say, from personal experience, is that talking about end-of-life issues with your nearest and dearest will do a massive amount to help them, just as it will help you. 

You've done your family an enormous service by doing so. 

 

But as you said, you're not throwing in the towel yet, so I think it may be some time before the scourge of the pipes graces the Essex coast in your honour!

[jamie92208]

Morning all from a rather damp and windy village.  

 

Jock, most of the things that could be said have already been said very eloquently by others but I have nothing but admiration for your strength of character.   Planning actually helps the grieving process.  My own experience if such events is that there is so much red tape and mundane stuff that needs to be done that a well thought out, shared and planned end of li. fe plan actually helps the family tremendously as everyone knows what to do.   It was even useful to me when Beth was very ill at one point, I actually planned the funeral and the process brought me peace at the time.   Fortunatley that plan has not been needed.  

 

As a committed Christian I fully support your ideas about how the actual funeral should be conducted.  It's far better to do something that everyone believes in than have one of those services mentioned above where no one knows what to sing, say or do with a bought in minister who no one knows. When one of my good friends at the club died in his 40's from cancer, it emerged that his family wanted a humanist funeral.  I couldn't attend but arranged for Willie Nelson's version of 'City of New Orleans' to be played on my behalf.  The words "This trains got the disappearing railroad Blues" had a particular poignancy as Bill was into US railroading. 

 

As to farcical events, most of mine are connected with actually dealing with the deaths.  Two of us who were very young bobbies (3 months and 6 months service respectively) were the sole cover for our section on the night of Local Government reorganisation (1-4-74)  At 2am we got a call to a Sudden Death in a village that we didn't now, but had acquired responsibility for at midnight.   We did what was needed then needed to get the deceased transported to a morgue.  The undertakers had heard a rumour that the local morgue had closed so I got installed in the jump seat of the hearse and we spent the next hour touring Leeds at 3 in the morning, trying to find a mortuary that was open for business.  It brought many smiles to our faces.  My helmet was placed where the coffin normally goes.

 

Anyway life here goes on at it's normal pace.   Weightwatchers has changed days so I was over early to set tables up.   Then it was back home for a peaceful cup of coffee and a catch up on here while a bundle of black fur tried to take over the laptop before settling on my lap.   I'm now busy sorting out death certificates etc for our friend whose husband died over the weekend.  She's 80 and nearly blind so needs help.   After that the ironing awaits then hopefully some modelling. 

 

That's enough prattling on this morning so regards to all.

 

Jamie

[Tony_S]

Morning all

My long post about funerals has just disappeared into a bad gateway error.

Jock, I agree with you about making plans. It helps the family a lot.

Tony

[BoD]

Could any teachers on here comment as to whether this is deliberate obfuscation, or not?

Whilst it is important to effect the verbalization of concepts through the utilization of unsophisticated terminology it is equally essential that the teaching and learning objectives and outcomes are not compromised by terminological inexactitudes.

[BoD]

P.s. If anyone does want any help with the maths homeworks I'm just a PM away and my rates are very reasonable.

[PhilJ W]

Morning all from Estuary-Land. Jocks remarks are a timely reminder that I should think about such things, my will is well out of date now so that will have to be sorted. Like Jock I am an atheist, as was my dad before me. He was adamant that there was to be no religious ceremony at his funeral and the funeral director suggested a humanist sermon. I was quite happy with this but my sister didn't think the service was up to scratch. Personally I couldn't care less about what happens to me after I die, I'm seriously thinking about leaving my body to medical science or if there's anything usable for transplants they are welcome to take them. As I said I am an atheist, more correctly I could be described as a Christian atheist as I believe Christ did exist but was a mere mortal.

[sixoh8sixoh]

I'm seriously thinking about leaving my body to medical science

As I understand it, as the cost of funerals has risen dramatically over the last few years, the number of people leaving their bodies to medical science has also grown to such an extent that now there is a surfeit of bodies and that they're no longer accepting donations to medical science! All being well it'll be a long time before you need to consider this and the demand will have outstripped supply again by then!

[The Stationmaster]

Morning all,

 

Baz - Metalforming stuff,  Mrs Stationmaster is on 2x2 pills daily (a.m. and p.m.) and I am on 1x2 p.m..  Advised by Doctor and pharmacist 'to be taken after meals'.  In addition we are on something called Metabet which is allegedly the same dosage but the pills are smaller - easier to swallow (and therefore, logic suggests, also easier to ingest).  I await my next 'review' with the GP on the 22nd inst.

 

Jock - I think it is very sensible to make funeral plans in advance and make it clear what you want, and as others have said it does help with the grieving process as well.  I would go along with the idea of a Humanist funeral but there is something to watch out for (at any sort of 'service' especially at a crematorium).  I was invited to speak at the Humanist service for one my retired Drivers who had become a firm friend during his working years and his funeral was Humanist as he had been a lifelong communist going back to the days of punch-ups with Mosley's gang in the 1930s.  His wife invited me to speak as 'the management rep' so I gave Bill a proper send off - which had his workmates and friends rolling in the aisles as it happened; but the point to watch is this - the Humanist service leader was getting very edgy as I'd over-run my allotted speech time although Bill's wife was effectively stopping hime from saying anything.  

 

The message - don't forget that at any sort of 'service', including Humanist, or a crematorium there will be a time constraint which might not help folk say as much as they would have wished - you might need to add something at the wake to take account of that.  Sorry to be awfully practical but it can be a worry to those who thought they were only trying to meet the wishes of the departed - and that is not fair on them.   and of course I wish and hope that for you that time will be as far into the future as your various medicos can get it.

 

Have a good day everybody - the sun's come out here.

 

PS Pre-paid funerals, if still around, are a way to beat rising costs and they are also an excellent way of making sure somebody can express their wishes regarding what they want.

Edited February 2, 2016 by The Stationmaster

[Simon G]

Jock, I am in awe of your practicality at such a time. My father who passed away 3 years ago, had done some of that himself, but we had no idea what he really wanted for a funeral etc, so there was a lot of discussion between my mother and her 4 sons. About a month after, my mother found a document my father had written with all his wishes, which upset her as what we had done (with the best of intentions) hadn't actually been what he wanted. Your common sense will avoid such issues. My mother has also been very practical with living wills, power of attorney etc all in place, should they be required.

 

I am attending a local Cancer Support Group this afternoon, with a friend who has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and is due to start chemo soon. He was reluctant to go on his own and asked me along, after my recent lymphoma diagnosis. I have tried to persuade him to take his wife, but without success so far. Like Mrs G, she is struggling to come to terms with his condition.

 

More bedroom painting done this morning, but now stopped as I am suffering a recurrence of tennis elbow, so my right arm needs a rest!

[Tony_S]

One of Matthew's junior school teachers had clearly reached her limits with percentages. What she taught was just wrong. She tried to say her answers were those accepted by some mathematicians! I did tell Matthew not to repeat my comment, as his teacher wasn't a nice person and could have been vindictive. The mother of one his friends was a maths teacher. She sent a diagram in to explain why the teacher was wrong. That didn't go down well.

[The Lurker]

One of Matthew's junior school teachers had clearly reached her limits with percentages. What she taught was just wrong. She tried to say her answers were those accepted by some mathematicians! I did tell Matthew not to repeat my comment, as his teacher wasn't a nice person and could have been vindictive. The mother of one his friends was a maths teacher. She sent a diagram in to explain why the teacher was wrong. That didn't go down well.

I expect experiences like that are why they insist teachers have to have passed maths exams to a reasonable level!

 

Condolences to Matt.

 

And Jock, thanks for the wise words.

 

Somehow I have managed to only attend one funeral in 48 years, my Grandma's. What I liked were some of the tales of her early life in the South Wales valleys, which I hadn't heard - her father had been the Methodist minister and as a teenager she had organised the local temperance league. I remember her having a Baileys with her coffee quite regularly!

[28XX]

Whilst it is important to effect the verbalization of concepts through the utilization of unsophisticated terminology it is equally essential that the teaching and learning objectives and outcomes are not compromised by terminological inexactitudes.

Yuss mate. Dats wot I thort.

[NGT6 1315]

Afternoon all. Quick look-see and may I just express my appreciation for what you described, Jock. I imagine it cannot have been an easy conversation for your loved ones, but I for one cannot really put any other comment on it but "sensible."

 

Perhaps this will also contribute to lifting the spirits of anyone in need:

 

 

1347 "Zweinaundorf" and 1304 "Stahmeln" from my first half. Will be off for my second half soon, so, later…

[Oldddudders]

Whilst it is important to effect the verbalization of concepts through the utilization of unsophisticated terminology it is equally essential that the teaching and learning objectives and outcomes are not compromised by terminological inexactitudes.

Yes. Repeat : No.

 

I am very late to the party on Jock's latest triumph of will and practicality over sentiment. Astute as ever, Sir. You have single-handedly avoided conflicts and factionalism among your nearest and dearest, some of whom may not share your atheism, but cannot dispute the clarity of your wishes. As many may guess, the last funeral I attended was Deb's, at which I officiated, much helped by the challenge of delivering the eulogy in two languages - in one of which I am a lot less than fluent! Deb had delivered outstanding eulogies for her father and her sister, so I owed it to her to hold it together! As her recurrent cancer had closed in very quickly indeed, we didn't get time to discuss funeral arrangements, and I suspect she'd have welcomed a larger gathering than the 25 or so I mustered at about 3 days notice, but it suited me, I'm afraid. There was no wake, and I drove home alone. That's me.

 

She and I had attended a humanist funeral in 1996, where my late skoolfriend's brother officiated as a member of the Secular Society (I think) as well as being editor of the Freethinker magazine. He is now in poorly health, and his sister, Sherry's skoolfriend Liz, a former nurse, is attending, I think.

 

As for music at a funeral, the 1996 event included several tunes the deceased had chosen. In the same vein, ISTR that at Peter Sellers's funeral a particular tune was played. The presiding cleric explained that the tune had been requested by the deceased, and obviously meant something special to him. It did - he absolutely loathed it! Making the mourners sit through that was a good wheeze from beyond the grave.

 

Finally, I attended many years ago the funeral of a grumpy, racist colleague. It was wonderful to find that the cleric who, of course, conducted an utterly dignified and respectful service - was black.

[skipepsi]

My Mum wrote down all the details for her funeral, hymns, the minister she wanted, who was to be invited the undertaker she preferred etc. and it made it so simple to do at a stressful time as she died suddenly.

 

Her oft made remark about get some orange crates and burn me in the garden was obviously not quite how she wanted things done after all. Or she had noticed the lack of orange crates in the supermarket.

[Tony_S]

Aditi's Dad had made his wishes quite clear but his final illness set in quite quickly. Otherwise he would have left his accounts files on the shelf rather than in their "being worked on" position on a desk. He was very organised. The Hindu religious part of the funeral was held at the undertakers, as it is an open coffin ceremony. The service at the crematorium could have been a humanitarian one, with a series of eulogies. The coffin was supposed to be carried in by male relatives, but I am much taller than the others so Matthew (then 14) took my spot. Afterwards there were hundreds of people outside, many of whom insisted that without Aditi's Dad they wouldn't have been there otherwise or that he had been so good to some relative.

 

My Dad had left written guidance but we didn't find it until later. Fortunately what he had suggested was much like what happened.