AndrewC Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 One of our more memorable callers did amuse us. We were actually interested in having the rotten wood on our soffits and fascias replaced at the old house. The salesman (young lad in a big suit, I think we may have been his first customers) was telling us about how advanced the company was and how they were using a new method to calculate the length of the fascia panel. In answer to my genuine question he told me it was called piefaggeruss. Oh dear. Best get in the puns first before this goes off on a tangent. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) Morning gentles all! I've been off the grid, except for a few Wordgame postings, following a nasty spill on my MTB Sunday before last. Ironically I was going at 0mph, waiting for Jane to catch up, and made the mistake of turning on gravel. Front wheel shot away. I went down sideways, but managed to land with my midriff on the end of my handlebars, twisting them parallel with the front wheel in the process. A bit shaken I got up and sorted out the bike, and we carried on back home. All was well until I stripped off my cycling kit in the shower room and I watched my stomach expand like something from Alien! I went from a (relatively) flat tum to 9 3/4 months pregnant in about 4 seconds! By Monday morning I was carrying a purple and green and black watermelon sized object around, which became increasingly painful as the week progressed. Went to see the 'Quack' on Wednesday and, on exposing the dark side of the moon, I thought she was going to faint clean away! Anyway, nothing seriously damaged apparently (following an extremely painful examination) and I'm gradually returning to what passes for normal....... Interestingly though, now some of the purple is fading I have an almost perfect impression of handlebar grip, brake lever and gear housing in green left behind. I would post the interesting 'selfies' I took but Jane says they're GROSS!!!!!!, so in the interests of keeping 'Nursie' happy I won't. (It is nice to be cosseted and cared for, almost worth the injury...............) Edited March 20, 2014 by Adams442T Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 ....By the way I may get some insights into how the local Department think over the next few weeks - as after my positive vetting by Homeland Security I'm now employed (part time) by the local Police Department, Traffic Division. A bit of "giving back" to the community... Best, Pete. I can just imagine it.... A lonely rural road, an idiot is doing twice the speed limit. Enter a Police Car who pulls the offender over... Officer Trisonic (for it is he) "...'allo, 'allo, 'allo. What have we here? Going somewhere in a hurry, Stirling Moss?" Idiot in Car "what are you talking about?, you goddam limey" Officer Trisonic "Now then, Sir, no need for that sort of language" Idiot in Car "oh p+++s off" (puts hand on on gear lever) Officer Trisonic, pulling idiot out of car through window "right, you're nicked, sunshine" Not quite NCIS, but it will be interesting to see Constable Trisonic in action iD 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold grandadbob Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Many years ago I had one moron knock on the door who apparently wasn't selling anything. When I told him not to waste my time & to go away and I was shutting the door he actually had the temerity to try and stop me by holding it and putting his foot across the threshold. When last seen he was limping very badly up the road! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
edcayton Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 It strikes me that the obvious "sensible" thing to do with the pension pot is to invest in a rental property. That gives a better return than pretty much anything else at the moment, and hopefully an appreciating asset. Even if prices fall, a house is still worth a house, so a nice inheritance for the kids. Although nothing has been said about this, I reckon that is what is behind the Chancellor's thinking, as they keep telling how short we are of housing. Hope this isn't seen as political because it's not meant to be. Ed 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Ah, doorsteppers. I once engaged in earnest conversation with a Jehovahs Witness caller who started on about salvation after death etc and I proceeded to turn the conversation into a chat about violent death using the example of a couple of bodies I'd had to deal with over the years. For some reason he went very pale and seemed quite relieved when I was called in to dinner, after that we too got a 'by' (as in 'pass by, this one's nutty'). One sort we get here regularly are recently released offenders trying to sell things as part of their getting back to going straight reform - alas it's all over priced stuff so we no more buy from them than from idiots cold calling on the 'phone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) Doorstepper: " We are here to pray with you" Me: "Then pray depart rapidly and pray for someone else!" Edited March 20, 2014 by shortliner 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium southern42 Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 20, 2014 Oh, my! Chucking it down here and blowing a hooley. I'll get over it with a nice cup of coffee and ham roll. Hope it's better where you are. Polly Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Oh, my! Chucking it down here and blowing a hooley. I'll get over it with a nice cup of coffee and ham roll. Hope it's better where you are. Polly I thought of you and Dd this morning when I heard the shipping forecast ( the ER forecast ). It sounded as if it was going to be a bit windy out west today. It has just got breezy out here in the east. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Oh, my! Chucking it down here and blowing a hooley. I'll get over it with a nice cup of coffee and ham roll. Hope it's better where you are. Polly It is (but it is forecast to change for the worse later today). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 First Sign of Spring in New Jersey A small army of Mayan look-a-likes from Mexico, armed with Leaf-Blowers have materialized in our Neighborhood. Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 20, 2014 Have any of you guys ever seen this show? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGcIy76N9sY Rather amazing how they envisioned the future back in the 1960s! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Abel Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 First Sign of Spring in New Jersey A small army of Mayan look-a-likes from Mexico, armed with Leaf-Blowers have materialized in our Neighborhood. Best, Pete. Funny, but the same group will appear here in about 3-4 weeks not armed with leaf-blowers but with offers to re-roof the house after the bad winter, for a very "good" price... Are there any non-Mexicans doing roofing in the US any more?? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 You have to ask? Only their Employers. Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Abel Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Odd morning here, -4 and foggy but headed for +5. Net result calls for a "mild day with some thawing..", brilliant, the rocket weather-scientists have looked out their windows again Not sure I'd qualify for local Traffic duty, on friendly terms with the local constabulary, but my rather voiciferous complaints about the soccer-mums bu**gg**ering up the traffic flows around the drive-up Starbucks (which is almost next door to the cop-shop as it happens) would probably raise too many eyebrows and expectations of me being over-zealous with tickets Choir rehersal looms tonight - prefaced with pizza and a pint to get us in the mood - with promises that it'll be a short one as we've several weeks before Easter yet - that hasn't stopped the choir director in the past though! OK, SQL procedures call, and I need to bow to their beckoning, they won't write/fix themselves it seems - Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Have any of you guys ever seen this show? .... No, back in the 60s the only German programmes would have been something like "Tales from Europe" and dubbed into BBC English. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 1216 025, on 20 Mar 2014 - 14:09, said: Have any of you guys ever seen this show? .....but it is all on youtube if you want to go hunt! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Williams Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hooraahhh , I'm pleased to see ( sorry ) that I'm not the only one in this situation . I used to take three pairs to exhibitions with me. First thing I did when assisting Chris Gilbert, was to line them up behind the layout. helping with Horth Haston at Nottingham last weekend, he commented at the end of the day, that I hadn't worn my glasses once. I had never realised, but he was right. Following my one cataract removal, I don't need glasses for focal lengths between about 18" and ten feet. For the first time in years I can read all the little words on the car dashboard. My sight in my left eye is better than before I developed the cataract. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Happy Hippo Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 I've taken Shortliner's advice and invested in a cheap pair of reading glasses. I've been sitting in front of a mirror practicing my 'withering stare' over the top of the frames. It seems to be working as I've already converted two Jehovah's Witness and a solar energy salesperson to stone. Although I have to admit the snake hair wig is a great help. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Have any of you guys ever seen this show? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGcIy76N9sY Rather amazing how they envisioned the future back in the 1960s! Oh they didn't do too badly I don't think. They clearly envisaged the problems with DCC control 'cooking' chips in locos, and the section where Hornby's new management couldn't agree whether to continue with the Elite system or go back to clockwork was very good I thought. Shame they invested in all those Alpha Centuri Games Consoles otherwise they might have made a profit............................. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Donw Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 I find it odd that there should be so much concern about people frittering away their pension pots much more concern than the fact that some pension companies seem to have eaten up quite a large share in 'management fees' before you get it. I used the quotes because it seems more like missmanagement to me. I rather feel that if someone wants to go on hollidays etc while they still have their health and are prepared to exist on the basic pension in later life, that's their choice. However I do hope that is they have blown their money and then strart bleating about how poor they are they get the appropriate response ( F off sunshine would be my response). The alternative is to buy an anuity where the actuary has worked out that if you live for the average life span they will still make a nice profit. It is rather like a bet the company bets you will die before it costs them too much. Don Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) One sort we get here regularly are recently released offenders trying to sell things as part of their getting back to going straight reform - alas it's all over priced stuff so we no more buy from them than from idiots cold calling on the 'phone.In a way that's rather sad, that the few poor bu99ers who seem to want to make a try of going straight are put into a situation (door-to-door sales) that is a practically guaranteed fail... Hell, I'd turn to crime rather than sell door-to-door. I've heard, and I have no idea if it's true or not, that a truly reformed criminal is as zealous about staying on the straight and narrow as the reformed smoker is zealous about stamping out the evil weed. I think it shows how elderly ERs have become, with the past several pages dedicated, off and on, to pensions. Looking at some these wide-boy "pension" schemes, and considering that the taxman will effectively tax you again or monies already taxed when these schemes payout (if I understand correctly), then you'd be better off investing in gold sovereigns and hiding them under the mattress. And whilst speaking of our favourite government department, it seems the rise of barter groups/clubs (where you exchange services [e.g. I'll build a station for your layout if you fix my plumbing]) is getting the taxmen rather nervous - there's a whole mini economy out there that they can't get their hands on as no "money" is involved... I LIKE it!!!! Have a great evening iD Edited March 20, 2014 by iL Dottore 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Gold Share Posted March 20, 2014 Today my modelling has mainly consisted of making a big hole. Tomorrow I may fill it. Tony 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium skipepsi Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 20, 2014 Are you going to look into it first? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Barry O Posted March 20, 2014 RMweb Premium Share Posted March 20, 2014 Morning all from a cloudy Sydney. Good night out with St Enodoc last night Oz beer is getting better but still too cold. Airport staff busy shunting various lorries etc Will call back when I fond some more wifi 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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