Gruffalo Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Stationmaster mentions yesterdays DT and unusually we actually bought a newspaper (that one) because Madam Gruffalo's eldest nephew's engagement was posted in it - the intended bride's family does things very properly! Alongside the announcement was reproduced the DT's cover of December 28th 1943 reporting the sinking of the German battlecruiser "Scharnhorst". I found the coincidence that the same day's paper printed the announcement alongside that of the battle for which my late uncle was awarded a DSC most surprising! Gruff Towers is returning to some normality. SWMBO's aunt was collected yesterday and is now back amongst the other dragons to the west of Offa's Dyke. A hard frost was visited upon us yesterday,, our roads were skating rinks before 19:30 when we walked round to the house of some friends to partake of an excellent forerib of beef with all the roasted trimmings (damn the waistline) and the road is yet to cleared. We are planning to eat leftovers (and there are plenty of them) in addition to consuming the remaining and various open bottles of falling down water. Debs' wonderful gauges on a previous page are almost tempting me to do a small O gauge layout No No No No No.... I trust your day GOes well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 29, 2013 Ian, I'm not sure whether I can give you any useful advice beyond what's been said already – also considering I myself have stayed away from Facebook thus far and have no inclination of changing that. However, I can fully relate to you feeling uneasy about the situation you described, and thus do sympathise. I guess that for the moment at least, and since I personally prefer my surroundings to be informed of how I myself feel about any situation that might be bugging me, I might leave it at outlining your thoughts to your friend so that she will be aware of how you feel about the situation, if I were in your place. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adams442T Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Now the less cheerful. A rather self-important young woman on Facebook is tweaking my tail - which also ought to be flattering but isn't. She objects to my ongoing relationship - with her mother! I have a dilemma here. I know enough about the girl to severely embarrass her, possibly even blight her career if I were that nasty. I just want her to butt on out and let relationships take their course. But chopping her off at the knees is just so tempting. Sadly to do so might destroy the whole family, and my nicer side says I shouldn't do that. Hi Ian, I would join in the response from others and say resist the natural urge to hit back whatever you do. She is obviously struggling to come to terms with your new relationship and if you continue to be adult and level-headed about things it will avoid escalating out of control. Perhaps you might try voicing your concerns to her mother, but I would suggest doing it from a viewpoint of concern and not condemnation. After my late wife died I never expected to have anyone special in my life again, ever. Then suddenly Jane appeared, gentle, kind, intelligent and independent, and much to my astonishment she liked me too. I've had to negotiate a similar path to yours, not because of direct enmity, but one where her children (we now get on very well) were fiercely protective of her. Try to keep a level head and not be tempted to respond in kind and hopefully, eventually, things will sort themselves out. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 (edited) Ian - look at it this way - if you weren't on Farcebook, Linkdup. Twatter, or any of the other social nutwerk sites, you wouldn't know about it - and if you are, then like me, you wouldn't honestly give a toss about other peoples opinions anyway. Your possible relationship will blossom or wither due to your, and the lady's feelings anyway - daughter can go her own waythrough life, along with her opinions. Striking back can only damage her mothers opinion of you. There is only one person you should share your feelings with - and that is far better done face-to-face than via an electronic medium where the whole world can see them. Edited December 29, 2013 by shortliner Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 Morning. It is now sunny and clear after last night's frost. The gritting lorries were out last night in South Essex. I don't think I'll be doing much today though Robbie will get a walk, though probably not as soon as he would like. We have the newspaper delivered. I haven't really looked at yesterday's Telegraph but by now it will be all mixed up with today's paper. Tony Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 29, 2013 Perhaps you might try voicing your concerns to her mother, but I would suggest doing it from a viewpoint of concern and not condemnation. That is a suggestion I'd like to second! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 A typically ERs thoughtful and caring set of ideas and responses, for which I am grateful. The lady's mother is aware of what is going on, and has offered me a form of reply to her daughter which I have adopted. All this, by the way, is being conducted by PM - not so far on Facebook's open pages, nor will it be unless the going gets very tough! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Barry O Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 29, 2013 Ian stay calm and have a glass of calming fluid (red or white to your preference). While fb can be a positive boon - it isn't when its hijacked (as per my youngest Herberts account) which led to some fairly nasty repercussions. Sounds like the lady's mother is on your wavelength so hope it all ends in peace and joy. Barry O Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 My brother is now on his third marriage and has acquired a set of adult children. Fortunately they all seem to like him! Considering that my brother has never had any children and didn't even like young children he seems to be doing well with the step-grandchild and assorted small nieces. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Afternoon all, It is another grey and wet day here, but we did have some sunshine which makes all the difference. For what it's worth, Ian, I think you are doing the right thing. Rise above it. People do the strangest things online, and say things that they would never say to your face. I think it is something to do with the perceived anonymity that sitting in front of a screen provides. We all know it makes no difference, but even going back to the days of VMS Chat on a company VAX mainframe, I used to see the same. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Donw Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 Best of luck with your problem Ian. It is as well to remember a good parent will never give up on a child of whatever age. Absolutely cracking day up on exmoor a bit cold but it is winter. Don Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium New Haven Neil Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 29, 2013 Another voice of support Ian - the best thing is to deal with it openly with your friend, and leave it there unless it gets really, really nasty for you. the tit-for-tat approach won't get you anywhere really as the daughter will have influenced her followers anyway by then. As for getting FB themselves to change or delete anything - even at work we haven't succeeded in doing that - they wanted a subpoena in the US for that....and it was really nasty and incorrect. The law dealt with the perpetrator though. 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debs. Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 "Happiness belongs to the kindly".......or so I was once told! Ian, you are 'pre-qualified'; so be happy sharing your friendship and let 'little-miss' spend the rest of her life wondering how this 'happiness' thing works. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 As I wrote before, Ian, it's only pixels, BUT I'm sure your first concern will be to protect the Mother from any unwanted fall-out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 Ian, Block the daughter ... then you don't have to deal with the rubbish and she can't send you more either by PM or by public postings. If she makes a deal of it just say it must be a mistake and eventually "friend" her again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 S0d it. I have just discovered that in my recent computer crash I have lost all my layout designs done on templot. Whilst I have backups of backups of everything else they don't appear to have backed up. How the ******* has that happened. The import of that loss will be clear to some. This hasn't helped get them back but I feel a bit better for the outburst. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debs. Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Might be worth having a good scout through the various docs. folders/directories, Bod......sometimes backups can be misplaced or wrongly assigned; rather than lost for ever. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 29, 2013 S0d it. I have just discovered that in my recent computer crash I have lost all my layout designs done on templot. Whilst I have backups of backups of everything else they don't appear to have backed up. How the ******* has that happened. The import of that loss will be clear to some. This hasn't helped get them back but I feel a bit better for the outburst. Sorry. That is really a bu**ered thing to happen! I have an external HDD attached to my desktop for automated Time Machine backups, and am aiming to eventually get a NAS device for also being able to automatically back-up our laptop computers - which must be done manually at this stage. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold colin penfold Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 Its perhaps due to the location where the templot stuff is saved - if its not in "my documents" it might not be part of an automated backup. Worth looking into for the future even if it doesnt ease your current pain. You need to look for where your designs are saved, and then check your backup schedule to see if it includes that location. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gordon s Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 Wishing you all the best Ian with your problems. I've learnt over the years that you only get one crack at this life and very occasionally you have to put yourself first. I know it can be perceived as selfish, but only you can take responsibility for your own life. The younger family members have all their lives in front of them and years of potential happiness ahead. As the years tick by, the opportunities become fewer and they have no right to try and deny you that light in your life... Oh Jeez, BoD, you have my sympathies as I know that can be hours of work and impossible to create an exact copy. From memory Templot plan files are .box so worth doing a search. The other hope would be to take the HDD to a recovery specialist and they may be able to rescue them for you... Might be worth contacting Martin Wynne as he mentioned to me that the latest version of Templot had a backup facility. Whether that was automatic to the cloud or it had to be set up, I don't know, but well worth a call just the same. Whilst you guys have been tucking into mince pies and pud, I escaped for a while every now and again and did a bit of ballasting. I'm pleased with the results, bearing in mind this is just common or garden 00... Apologies for putting railway stuff in here…;-) 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold colin penfold Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 [quote name="gordon s" post="1281076" timestamp="1388345233" Whilst you guys have been tucking into mince pies and pud, I escaped for a while every now and again and did a bit of ballasting. I'm pleased with the results, bearing in mind this is just common or garden 00... Oh no it isnt, its Marks and Spencers 00! bloomin brilliant mate Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 In New York City. MiL took a purler and is in hospital. 12 stitches in noggin. Later, Pete Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 29, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 29, 2013 Lovely, lovely track work there Gordon. Thanks for the suggestions for finding my files. It seems so long since I used them. I remember moving the Box files outside of the Templot folder to make backup easier and then I must have forgotten to include that folder in the backup schedule. D'oh I have one last hope - that I copied them on to the external drive that lives with my daughter. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debs. Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 In New York City. MiL took a purler and is in hospital. 12 stitches in noggin. Later, Pete 12 sutures!?!?!?! .......Oh gosh! what a dreadful bang she must`ve had. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisonic Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 She wacked her forehead on a large plant pot, unfortunately. Dr. is concerned as to why she got dizzy inthe first place... If you re going to hit your head the center of the forehead is probably safer than anywhere else, like the temples, for example. Best, Pete. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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