RMweb Premium New Haven Neil Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 Me too - but the English is limited....I'm fluent in the others, plus a bit of slightly Manx-accented Geordie! Howay man, ya cannit tyek the sand oot uv a sand-dancer.....'yessir, feller' (the Manx bit!) 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Where do Geordies shop ? - Aldi, because it's open 24 hours ... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Geordie went to the doctors with a bad back and the doctor asks "Can you walk" "Walk!!" exclaims Geordie "Ah canna even wark nivvor mind walk" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Barry O Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 WORRava Startut lyke????? Nivver mind a start wores the broon??? Mind you I speak Yacker not Geordie......... Al I wish for is a ham and pease pudding stotty... with home made red cabbage ...... So geordie is a scout with Colonel Custer .. the sound of drums come from teh hills.. Geordie are they War Drums? asks Custer WHy no! they're theirs!! And I do have my Geordie Passport and a Record by Mike Neville and George House "Larn thasel Geordie" Barry O 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Barry O Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 And of course there is real Consultant Speak... We have developed our Company Strategy making use of our Gap Analysis while reviewing Best Practice and keeping an eye on the Bottom Line so that Going Forward we can Touch Base with our Game Plan making sure that no one in the business is out of the Loop and aware of The Big Picture and how they can be seen to be Adding Value by the Movers & Shakers in the business by being more Customer Focussed and by continuing to Benchmark our progress within our Business Case and by staying Cool and being Proactive, not Reactive while allowing us to Think outside the box and to continue up our Learning Curve so that we can Streamline our operations to get away from a Me, Me, Me approach which can only provide Quick & Dirty solutions which do not make best use of our Feedback from others held within our Knowledge Management system which breaks aways from our current approach to data of "A need to know basis" because, at the end of the day our Balanced scorecard will reveal that we are improving Quality of delivery without resourcing to the current " My little hero" approach which will require some Process mapping employing the odd Change Agent so by this time next year we will have put this one to bed as we know this just isn't Rocket Science and we are already playing in the right Ball Park using this Business Strategy and the Knock on effect will be we will employ less of you and I will be richer by £1000 per day..... 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Many years ago. Bob (a boss type person)."Bill is coming to our next team meeting as he wants to run his ideas for IT up the flagpole" Me (a minion) "Can't we just run Bill up his flagpole" Bob "You are being negative" Me "No I'm not". 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium New Haven Neil Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 Sounds like positive action to me! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDolfelin Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 (edited) ... and if none of those words fit, we always have my current pet hate to fall back on .... Micromanage Edited December 13, 2013 by DDolfelin Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Today I be mostly photographing a diesel 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Shedman5 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 All this management speak which I have to hold my hand up and say I used on numerous occasions is bringing back memories which I prefer to forget lol! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 My Jill asked me if I wanted Xmas lights, I couldn't make my mind up so she made it up for me - but then again, I am easily LED 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 That's Dell light full. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 Oh, no, not again! Some people have no resistance to this type of pun... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gruffalo Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 Oh, the il-LUMEN-ati have spoken! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Oh, no, not again! Some people have no resistance to this type of pun... OMG 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
iL Dottore Posted December 13, 2013 Share Posted December 13, 2013 And of course there is real Consultant Speak... We have developed our Company Strategy making use of our Gap Analysis while reviewing Best Practice and keeping an eye on the Bottom Line so that Going Forward we can Touch Base with our Game Plan making sure that no one in the business is out of the Loop and aware of The Big Picture and how they can be seen to be Adding Value by the Movers & Shakers in the business by being more Customer Focussed and by continuing to Benchmark our progress within our Business Case and by staying Cool and being Proactive, not Reactive while allowing us to Think outside the box and to continue up our Learning Curve so that we can Streamline our operations to get away from a Me, Me, Me approach which can only provide Quick & Dirty solutions which do not make best use of our Feedback from others held within our Knowledge Management system which breaks aways from our current approach to data of "A need to know basis" because, at the end of the day our Balanced scorecard will reveal that we are improving Quality of delivery without resourcing to the current " My little hero" approach which will require some Process mapping employing the odd Change Agent so by this time next year we will have put this one to bed as we know this just isn't Rocket Science and we are already playing in the right Ball Park using this Business Strategy and the Knock on effect will be we will employ less of you and I will be richer by £1000 per day..... May I be contentious???? Sometimes this BS can come in very useful. When I don't believe that my boss's harebrained flight of fantasy will work (which has been frequent, as of late), then my reply (and if I have to, business case analysis) is simply crammed full of such magnificent verbiage that allows you to appear optimistic, "positive", a "credit to the company" and "motivated". In such a way, I can appear enthusiastic without actually saying anything much in three or four paragraphs (I must confess, however, my boss is not a native-English speaker, I might not get away with it with a native-English speaker). Now I am off to sieze the low-hanging fruit and leverage them into an early deliverable to the stakeholders... iD 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tony_S Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 Some of the organisational English phrases are just silly. When Aditi was doing her research she had interviewed lots of teaching staff. She used some analysis software to look at certain phrases used. One phrase that kept appearing among the more senior managers was "getting our ducks in a row". Tony Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 One phrase that kept appearing among the more senior managers was "getting our ducks in a row". I believe it's heard a lot in the English cricket team's dressing room too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 "I came here by parachute" "My tank has demolished your wall, the Army will compensate you" Do you remember the title of that one by any chance? Sounds like something I might well use as an icebreaker in my English lessons - with upper classes where I could expect students to be able to comprehend such things at least! Likewise, I was just looking at that infamous phrasebook by the title, "English As She Is Spoke" ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium NGT6 1315 Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 Oh, no, not again! Some people have no resistance to this type of pun... Because it is so conductive towards good humour! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Stationmaster Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 The business term I hated more than any other was 'growing the business' (and all variants thereon) so if someone asked 'how do we grow the business' I would come put with useful ideas such as 'water it' or 'add manure' (which probably why I managed to avoid the 'company induction' course for six years, fortunately). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 One phrase that kept appearing among the more senior managers was "getting our ducks in a row". I use that one regularly! I think I nicked it from John le Carre's "Smiley's People" on the Beeb over 30 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 We are sat in the boss's office having a meeting, when the direct line from Control rings, advising him that there is a major points failure at Factory Junction (Battersea) and that everything in and out of Victoria Eastern is stopped. This is not good, but we are powerless to add any value. Further calls interrupt our meeting, and things are still not on the move. Quoting a contemporary tv advert featuring the Cinderella story, I murmur "All it needs is a woolly sock!" "Shut up, Ian!" says colleague (equal status) Mike. Sad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium New Haven Neil Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 13, 2013 I use that one regularly! I think I nicked it from John le Carre's "Smiley's People" on the Beeb over 30 years ago. I heard it 'Juliet Bravo'. Dates me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Donw Posted December 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 13, 2013 It didn't go down well when I told my boss I had an insoluble opportunity. He loved all those buzzwords he was quite a good manager but didn't have the technical knowledge I think using all the buzzwords was a way of compensating. DD Micromanaging is something that can only be done by the small minded. On another topic from The News Quiz on R4 A false arm was found to be on sale in a secondhand shop well it amused me anyway. Don 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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