Miss Prism is unwell, but getting better slowly

[Miss Prism]

Hello, this is Miss Prism. I am in Barts Intensive Care Unit. Please don't ring because speaking is way too much effort at the moment, and I am likely to refuse a conversation, if only for the fact that other things are often going on.

 

I am having the most extraordinary experience, but it is the most frightening one. Coming into consciousness after the triple heart bypass op with just a face make on was terrifying. The mask was forcing air and oxygen into me at 25psi, and the air temperature was about 34 degrees C. The mask was the only connection from me to the test of the unit, although I have a catheter fitted of course. Every breath was a monumental effort, like a heavy punch on the chest, and every breath was a fight between life and death. I am naked of course. I could feel my lungs bursting and fighting against the pressure, pounding to survive each forced breath. It was an elemental pain and terror I had never experienced before. And incessant. It went on for hours. Days actually. There was no negotiation - I was crying and shouting "please stop", "please stop", "please stop" at every breath, pleading with the nurses to make it go away, but all in vain.  It was something out of a nightmare science fiction film. The only normality in the scene was that I recognised a couple of the young nurses, for whom the proceedings were utterly normal.

 

When I am off the mask, there are alternative breathing procedures, ranging from a 'high-flow' thing that forces air up the nostrils, but leaves the mouth clear, and the 'nebulizer', which is a forced steam mask.The nebulizer is intended to open the lung capilliaries. I cannot breathe unassisted yet. Sometimes I have to use the mask, as the difficulty of using the alternatives soon rises after a short time, and I go into a panic. When the mask is finally applied and turned on, I am often screaming in pain. It takes a while for my panic to subside, but I know the thud thud thud of the mask will eventually keep me safe, albeit in acute discomfort. When on the mask, the mind can focus only on one thing - each new breath.

 

During the time it has taken to write this e-mail, I have had a visit from the Antifungal Team, and various cultures have been taken. One of the nurses is taking blood samples. I also had to stand up so that the nurses could wipe my bottom. (Getting one's bottom wiped is quite normal.) I cannot stand unassisted yet. That will take a lot of time I think.

 

There are many specialist medical teams in ICU, and most do their rounds every day. I lose count of the number of doctors. Most are very young.They all pour over their charts, and have discussions and exchanges of view. A phenomenal amount of record-keeping goes on. I am fully wired up to a lot of machines. There are feeds and connections to my neck, my wrists and my chest. There is an array of medibots behind me, continuously analysing what my body is doing. In appearance, they are stacked up like the front masts of WWII Japanese battleships. The medibots make noises, and play tunes to each other.

 

I think I will have to go now. Supper time is not far away.

 

[skipepsi]

Good luck!

[Gordon A]

I hope you make a complete recovery.

[Legend]

Hang on in there . Good days will come 

[Stubby47]

Very sorry to hear you are in hospital,  but you seem to have a marvellous ability to detach yourself from the reality and observe your situation from almost a 3rd person perspective. This is fascinating ( without being too voyeuristic) for your readers.

 

Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery.

 

Stu

[Siberian Snooper]

Very sorry to hear that you have been hospitalised, and I hope that you're soon pain free and making a speedy recovery.

 

 

[Harlequin]

Sorry to hear what you're going through - you paint a very sobering picture.

 

Hang in there!

 

I don't know if you can think about the trivialities of railway modelling at the moment but, if it helps take your mind off things, Dapol have just posted images of their Manor and are asking for "constructive comments"... That's right up your street!

 

[TerryBewdley]

Hope your feeling better soon

Terry

 

[drduncan]

Get well soon!

Duncan

[AY Mod]

Wishing you well. I'm sure, and hope, you'll be back to your acerbic self soon. 

[southern42]

Get well soon and many thanks for your courageous post.

Hope it isn't too long before you are up and about.

Best wishes

Polly and Ray

[wenlock]

Sending you my best wishes! It all sounds horrendous, but hopefully you are over the worst and on the mend.

 

BW

 

Dave

[kandc_au]

Wishing you a quick recovery, if that is at all possible!
Off the machines and all that.

 

Khris

[SRman]

Wishing you all the best. 

[Mikkel]

Sorry to hear it, Miss P, sounds very unpleasant. Best wishes for a speedy recovery from me. 

 

Here's something to cheer you up a bit, 7802 at Kidderminster sending you regards from the old GWR that is so special to you and many of us. Sorry about the livery.

 

 

[iL Dottore]

Wow! What a blisteringly honest account of being a patient.

 

My very best wishes for a full and uneventful recovery. As you are already experiencing, it won’t be fast and it won’t be easy but it will be.

iD

 

p.s. I note with wry amusement your comment about “young” doctors. Someone once observed that you know you’re getting old when policemen and nurses start to seem like children, but so it goes.

[Compound2632]

Very best wishes.

[Simond]

What a horrible experience, however, how very much better than the available alternatives!  
 

Some 27 years ago, a couple of months  after I got married, my mum had a series of minor heart attacks, which led to multiple bypass surgery.  I won’t trivialise it, her recovery took several months, and was at times painful both physically and mentally, but she made a very full recovery, and lived happily into her 94th year.  
 

She was delighted to be able to ring her surgeon on the 25th anniversary of her op.

 

Hang in there!  
 

I wish you all the best, get well soon!

Simon

 

[BMacdermott]

Hello Miss Prism

 

All the very best from me, personally, and I'm sure I can speak on behalf of my friends in The 00 Wishlist Poll Team, too.

 

Get well soon!

 

Brian

[hayfield]

Sorry to hear of your experience and I wish you a speedy recovery. 3 years ago I was told that I needed a heart by pass, thankfully the decision was changed to having 3 stents fitted. I must say I was relieved as the operation was much smaller. Just take your time and don't rush matters.

 

I attended a 12 week (2 hours a week) rehabilitation course at a local hospital, where those of us who had either a bypass or stent operation went on a two hour a week course showing us safely how to excursive and how to live a healthier lifestyle. All I can say is the NHS looks after us very well. 

 

Looking forward to you being back fully with us and on the mend, in the meantime keep well

[Phil Bullock]

Sounds horrific. Here’s hoping your pathway to recovery is speedy and the pain and discomfort can be made more bearable. On a positive note a good friend went through the same and now lives a pretty well normal life.

[TheSignalEngineer]

Sorry to hear about your predicament. Your input to GWR / WR modelling and knowledge in general has been a great help to many of us. Long may it continue.

On an optimistic note my Dad had heart problems in his 60s. It was touch and go at the time but he recovered and was able to resume chasing trains around for over 20 years.

[lapford34102]

Best wishes and hopefully each day things will get a  bit better.

Love tha analogy about the medbots and Japanese battleships, know what you mean from a friend"s time n ICU. My only comment would be if one starts announcing Tora Tora Tora might be time to start wearing your bedpan......

Take care

Stu

[Brit70053]

My Very Best Wishes to you Miss Prism for a speedy and full recovery. Two acquaintances who went through the same procedure a number of years ago, remain in good health and I hope that will be your experience too.

[Michael Hodgson]

14 hours ago, Miss Prism said:

It was an elemental pain and terror I had never experienced before. And incessant. It went on for hours. Days actually. There was no negotiation - I was crying and shouting "please stop", "please stop", "please stop" at every breath, pleading with the nurses to make it go away, but all in vain.  It was something out of a nightmare science fiction film. The only normality in the scene was that I recognised a couple of the young nurses, for whom the proceedings were utterly normal.

 

Very sorry to hear of your needing to be in hospital.

 

Your posting reminds me of the time I visited my partner's sister in intensive care after she had a liver transplant after being on the waiting list for a donor organ for four years.  She was complaining that the pain was too much and asked me to turn off life support because the nurses wouldn't do it.  I had to point out that although the machine had its power switched on, she wasn't connected to it and she was breathing under her own power, it was only there as standby in case she needed it.  I am pleased to say she is still with us about five years later.  Whilst you're in ICU you're not well enough to make rational decisions about anything.  It really is a case of doctor knows best.

 

Best wishes for a speedy recovery - the fact that you are able to describe your situation and feelings suggests to me that you are indeed recovering already.