The Night Mail

[J. S. Bach]

9 hours ago, Winslow Boy said:

Your going to have to type a bit louder as he's too busy learning how to Zoom.

 

I'd like to Zoom from my shed, but I can't because I don't have one. Have I mentioned that?

You don't have a ZOOM? I thought everyone had a ZOOM, even I have one!

[J. S. Bach]

Dear Shedless,

 We see at least three sheds in the series of photographs. There are two in the first photograph and one (on the right) in the second photograph. The fourth photograph shows what may be a shed (or two) down in the valley.

 

  Sincerely,

Department of Hidden and Missing Sheds

[Hroth]

1 hour ago, J. S. Bach said:

You don't have a ZOOM? I thought everyone had a ZOOM, even I have one!

 

The only zooms I have are on my cameras, as I do have a shed I could use a camera from within it....

 

Is that helpful?

 

 

[Oldddudders]

Shedless persons - are there really any such on here? - may like to note that my penniless cleaner has now had her shed reroofed and new timbers applied, as shown. NB She doesn't have a model railway, nor any apparent desire to acquire one.

 

[Oldddudders]

Today's Stafford Show TNM rendezvous was indeed a great success - despite that bloke what crashed his plane earlier in the week arriving a bit late - albeit, quality not quantity. My unfamiliarity with matters military does mean I am highly amused by some of the implausible goings-on these chaps relate. 

 

Those who weren't there have no option but to be forever in despair.

[Dave Hunt]

2 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

I even threatened to join the Scale7 Group, although I suspect that a certain member of TNM may try to get me black-balled.  Probably because I am allegedly already owed... 'A kick in the shorts!'🤣 

 

Despite my hollow threats, HH, how could I possibly black ball you? First of all I wouldn't have the nerve to venture near to the rear end of a hippo and secondly I doubt that trying to kick you in the balls would be a  wise move. Oh, I see, someone has just told me that black balling isn't what I thought it was......

 

Dave 

[Tony_S]

6 hours ago, The White Rabbit said:

 

Have you got it set on vibrate or audio? 😉 If it's the former, it can give you something of a 'surprise' when you overtake someone. Maybe fine if you're female, but I suspect it may encourage 'poor' lane keeping, bit of a distraction ... 😇

Perhaps Dave’s loan car is one with active lane following, that steers the car, rather than shaking the steering column. My car shakes the steering column gently and red lines appear on the centre of the instrument panel. This effect can be turned off by changing a setting on one of the menus. 

[Dave Hunt]

The moronic lane assist  on the crap courtesy car I have just flashes an orange light on the dash panel and tries to steer the car - usually into the hedge - but at least it is fairly easy to override it. Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time playing with the onboard computer to see whether I can figure out how to turn it off. On Tuesday I have to drive the thing down to Bedford and back and the thought of what it will try to do on the motorways is too horrible to contemplate.

 

Dave 

[Winslow Boy]

2 hours ago, Hroth said:

 

The only zooms I have are on my cameras, as I do have a shed I could use a camera from within it....

 

Is that helpful?

 

 

You can go off people you know and you don't Zoom. Just who do you think you are? Elon Musk?

[SM42]

11 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

The moronic lane assist  on the crap courtesy car I have just flashes an orange light on the dash panel and tries to steer the car - usually into the hedge - but at least it is fairly easy to override it. Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time playing with the onboard computer to see whether I can figure out how to turn it off. On Tuesday I have to drive the thing down to Bedford and back and the thought of what it will try to do on the motorways is too horrible to contemplate.

 

Dave 

 

There are several possibilities. 

 

After 2 hours you wiil find the menu you need buried 30 layers down, you will switch off the said annoying and dangerous "driver assist safety feature" only to find that as soon as you next turn on the ignition it will switch back on

 

Or 

 

There will be an annoying blinking orange light on the dash and a sporadic beep to remind you that an important " safety " feature won't be trying to cause an accident and this is clearly dangerous. 

 

Or

 

You'll end up accidentally setttimg the language of all the menus to  Urdu

 

Or 

 

you could just indicate before crossing or getting near to any line on the road, any overbanding in the road and anything else that might be confused for a line by the on board "safety sensors"

 

Lastly

 

You could crash it, blame the "safety feature" and then wait for compensation to set in. 

 

Andy

Edited 15 hours ago by SM42

[Winslow Boy]

3 hours ago, J. S. Bach said:

Dear Shedless,

 We see at least three sheds in the series of photographs. There are two in the first photograph and one (on the right) in the second photograph. The fourth photograph shows what may be a shed (or two) down in the valley.

 

  Sincerely,

Department of Hidden and Missing Sheds

Thank you Agent Sincerely, for that comprehensive report.

 

A strike team from the Shedless Defence League has been dispatched.

 

Please ensure that you are familiar with the cover story, namely that a starving Hippo escaped from a nearby muddy hollow in search of 'cake' and destroyed the sheds in its rampage.

 

Yours

 

Headquarters.

Edited 15 hours ago by Winslow Boy

[Winslow Boy]

3 minutes ago, SM42 said:

 

There are several possibilities. 

 

After 2 hours you wiil find the menu you need buried 30 layers down, you will switch off the said annoying and dangerous "driver assist safety feature" only to find that as soon as you next turn on the ignition it will switch back on

 

Or 

 

There will be an annoying blinking orange light on the dash and a sporadic beep to remind you that an important " safety " feature won't be trying to cause an accident and this is clearly dangerous. 

 

Or

 

You'll end up accidentally setttimg the language of all the menus to  Urdu

 

Or 

 

you could just indicate before crossing or getting near to any line on the road, any overbanding in the road and anything else that might be confused for a line by the on board "safety sensors"

 

Lastly

 

You could crash it, blame the "safety feature" and then wait for compensation to set in. 

 

Andy

There is of course the fail safe option.

 

Walk.

[SM42]

3 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

There is of course the fail safe option.

 

Walk.

 

It would probably still beep as you passed it. 

 

Andy

[Winslow Boy]

1 minute ago, SM42 said:

 

It would probably still beep as you passed it. 

 

Andy

Not if your eating a bacon butty as it passes.

[J. S. Bach]

Night Owl from the Piedmont.

[BR60103]

For a book where sheds play a part, Terry Pratchett's last novel, The Shepherd's Crown.  However, you might have to read his other 40 books to understand it all.

 

[TheQ]

I might have a shed (or garage or several) but cannot Zoom from them as they are too far from the House..

Not that I would shed a tear about that..

 

[Hroth]

59 minutes ago, BR60103 said:

For a book where sheds play a part, Terry Pratchett's last novel, The Shepherd's Crown.  However, you might have to read his other 40 books to understand it all.

 

 

There's also the Ladybird "Book of the Shed", which discusses the various uses of sheds, including for model railways.

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ladybird-Book-Shed-Ladybirds-Grown-Ups/dp/0718183584

 

I may have mentioned this before....  🤪

 

Edited 10 hours ago by Hroth
spelin

[jamie92208]

Good moaning.  A surplus of eggs meant that a cake was baked here yesterday.  It would have been very rude not to help sample it. 

 

Jamie

[polybear]

8 hours ago, Dave Hunt said:

The moronic lane assist  on the crap courtesy car I have just flashes an orange light on the dash panel and tries to steer the car - usually into the hedge - but at least it is fairly easy to override it. Tomorrow I'm going to spend some time playing with the onboard computer to see whether I can figure out how to turn it off. On Tuesday I have to drive the thing down to Bedford and back and the thought of what it will try to do on the motorways is too horrible to contemplate.

 

Dave 

 

Sounds like another very expensive, difficult to fix gadget just waiting to go wrong just after the warranty expires.  Let's hope all those twenty-something softies did a very good job when writing the software for it.....

[SM42]

1 hour ago, polybear said:

 

Sounds like another very expensive, difficult to fix gadget just waiting to go wrong just after the warranty expires.  Let's hope all those twenty-something softies did a very good job when writing the software for it.....

 

It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme. 

 

Everyone on 2 or 3 year PCP plans, driving cars they can't afford to buy,  is the ideal. 

 

The factory output keeps being sold and the dealers get to  sell newish, lowish mileage used cars along with  various extended warranties that will make more money in general than most repairs cost ( like any other insurance plan)  or they will just make money on out of warranty repairs

 

After 10 years, you are on your own regardless and are into  man maths territory around repair vs replace. 

 

It's all about keeping the money going round. 

 

I don't mind the above, it's been going on for years. 

 

What I do mind is the apparent arms race of getting more and more distracting gimmicks into a car in the name of safety or convenience. 

 

Is it so hard to pull the handbrake on? 

Are hill starts a dying art?

Can turning the headlights and windscreen wipers on be so tiring ?

 

Why do I need to disengage the clutch and apply the foot brake to start the engine? ( the hand brake is on for lord's sake, or is it? It's electric so you can never be sure. Ahh! That explains it) 

 

Do I need to be told about what I can see out of the windscreen?  ( actually probably cos I'm busy looking down at the dash to work out what the beeping is about.)

 

If this is all about developing self driving cars, then in my experience of in car technology   we're about 50 years away. 

 

Hiding making  cheaper and selling at a higher price behind a veil of driver aids is more likely  

 

 

Andy

[Winslow Boy]

27 minutes ago, SM42 said:

 

It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme. 

 

Everyone on 2 or 3 year PCP plans, driving cars they can't afford to buy,  is the ideal. 

 

The factory output keeps being sold and the dealers get to  sell newish, lowish mileage used cars along with  various extended warranties that will make more money in general than most repairs cost ( like any other insurance plan)  or they will just make money on out of warranty repairs

 

After 10 years, you are on your own regardless and are into  man maths territory around repair vs replace. 

 

It's all about keeping the money going round. 

 

I don't mind the above, it's been going on for years. 

 

What I do mind is the apparent arms race of getting more and more distracting gimmicks into a car in the name of safety or convenience. 

 

Is it so hard to pull the handbrake on? 

Are hill starts a dying art?

Can turning the headlights and windscreen wipers on be so tiring ?

 

Why do I need to disengage the clutch and apply the foot brake to start the engine? ( the hand brake is on for lord's sake, or is it? It's electric so you can never be sure. Ahh! That explains it) 

 

Do I need to be told about what I can see out of the windscreen?  ( actually probably cos I'm busy looking down at the dash to work out what the beeping is about.)

 

If this is all about developing self driving cars, then in my experience of in car technology   we're about 50 years away. 

 

Hiding making  cheaper and selling at a higher price behind a veil of driver aids is more likely  

 

 

Andy

 

This rant was brought to you on behalf of the Luddite Car Appreciation Society. Motto; keep things simple for the Luddites.

 

Please note that no sheds were harmed in the production of this statement.

 

Via La Shedless

Edited 4 hours ago by Winslow Boy

[SM42]

6 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

This rant was brought to you on behalf of the Luddite Car Appreciation Society. Motto; keep things simple for the Luddites.

 

Please note that no sheds were harmed in the production of this statement.

 

Via La Shedless

 

Simple is good when driving. 

 

Less distractions. 

 

Driving is like a full body work out.

Arms, legs, core , eyes  ears  and brain all in use. 

 

Why play a computer game  at the same time?

 

Andy

[PhilJ W]

My car (soon to be 17 years old) was a dealers demonstrator and as such has every conceivable extra. I quite like the automatic lights and wipers as I don't have to worry about the lights and the wipers automatically adjust to the rain. There are still features that are superfluous, for example the glovebox can also act as a cool box but it is so large that to open it the front seat passenger has to get out of the car or have their legs amputated. As there is a socket you can plug a cool box into in the luggage space its not needed anyway.

[SM42]

39 minutes ago, PhilJ W said:

My car (soon to be 17 years old) was a dealers demonstrator and as such has every conceivable extra. I quite like the automatic lights and wipers as I don't have to worry about the lights and the wipers automatically adjust to the rain. There are still features that are superfluous, for example the glovebox can also act as a cool box but it is so large that to open it the front seat passenger has to get out of the car or have their legs amputated. As there is a socket you can plug a cool box into in the luggage space its not needed anyway.

 

 

I find that my auto wipers don't till I can't realky see and the auto lights whilst OK seem to come on at the slightest excuse.

 

Pass a tree on a bright sunny day, lights on for next 10 minutes, main beam till within 20 yds of any other vehicle. 

I tend to switch it off. 

 

The reverse camera is OK makes me feel like Captain Scarlet,   except in the wet, when it is obscured by water on the lens. 

 

Thus I still use the mirrors and the camera / sensors to be lazy when getting close to something. 

 

The extra power sockets are useful  but need to take care that they switch off with ignition  otherwise a flat battery awaits in the morning, but at least the drinks are cool.

 

Lack of a spare wheel is downright inconvenient and potentially increases risks to the occupants by stranding them for hours roadside ( should be illegal) and all in the name of making it look more fuel efficient. 

 

HFT is useful but my current one needs a lot of touch screen touching to make it work. ( defeats the purpose) Previous was voice activated. Not that I used it much.

 

Lane assist, emergency brake assist, both have almost caused an accident either by steering towards oncoming traffic or stopping unexpectedly in the middle of a busy roudabout. 

 

Electric handbrake, are they on or off. Need to move the car a couple of feet to open the garage door?. Just start it up rather than let gravity do it.  

Breakdown in traffic. No chance of pushing it out of the way. 

 

Kia have a strange idea that you need to be told by a beep and a dash graphic to tell you you've turned the wipers on.  Just in case you didn't notice them moving back and forth. 

 

Modern cars do odd things and are very distracting.

 

It all started to go wrong big style around 2015, the rot started around 2008 when push buttons replaced twiddle knobs.  

 

Push buttons still have the advantage that you can find them by touch. 

Touch screens require looking to find basic controls.

That warning  is a bit superfluous when you need to find the windscreen wiper sub menu. 

 

I wonder if I could drive using a Powrcab

 

Andy

 

 

Edited 3 hours ago by SM42