The Night Mail

[BoD]

1 hour ago, jamie92208 said:

There were various villages south of Pontefract where it was alleged that they never had naticpvity plays as they Coul couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.  

 

Jamie

“Come on in, we’ve got plenty of room”.

 

Thought I’d save time and just jump straight to the punchline.

[TheQ]

None of the 5 schools I went to did nativity, or drama or anything of that sort, there was limited music and art. For which I'm truly grateful , I would have hated being any part of it..

[Hroth]

1 hour ago, SM42 said:

The three wise men  saw a roller in the East. 

 

They followed that roller and after many days and miles  of painting they came upon a decorators centre, just outside Basildon

 

Within  that humble decorators centre they found a mother had laid down her baby in a paint tray whilst she got 10 litres of Natural Cream silk emulsion mixed. 

 

The wise man stood in awe, the scene bathed in a bright LED light

 

" I bring Natural Calico"  proclaimed Casper. 

 

" I bring Natural Hessian" proclaimed Balthazar

 

"I bring Magnolia  Fresh Flour " proclaimed Melchior .......

 

Andy

 

The mother put the Natural Cream down, shook her head, turned about and quoth...

 

"Naaaahhhhh. I'm going for Bleached Linen this year!"

 

[Happy Hippo]

I never had a speaking part in a school nativity play.

 

I was once cast as  part of a Glory of Angels.

 

I have since stepped down from such a lofty position and have found my true vocation...

 

That of the hippo in the tree whispering sweet temptation.

 

'Go on, another pannier in your collection won't hurt.'

'Of course Dave Hunt won't mind if you offer to mow his lawn.'

'PB really hates LDC, never ever give him any.'

'You really bought a pannier? You naughty boy!  Go on get another, I dare you!'

 

 

 

[Oldddudders]

2 hours ago, jamie92208 said:

I never did a Panto but did appear in various productions at school.  Several were produced by one Russell Harty. 

Not really being a tv sort of cove, I nevertheless recall the chap. He used to chair a sort of literary programme, where actual books were reviewed. There was a delicious moment when he announced that one book they had ordered in was not quite as expected - 'A History Of Kings' relating not to the House of Stewart etc but to certain 4-6-0s!

[Hroth]

My only Nativity exploit was as the Donkey.  My performance was so bad that I was never cast again.

 

Result!

 

[Winslow Boy]

7 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I never had a speaking part in a school nativity play.

 

I was once cast as  part of a Glory of Angels.

 

I have since stepped down from such a lofty position and have found my true vocation...

 

That of the hippo in the tree whispering sweet temptation.

 

'Go on, another pannier in your collection won't hurt.'

'Of course Dave Hunt won't mind if you offer to mow his lawn.'

'PB really hates LDC, never ever give him any.'

'You really bought a pannier? You naughty boy!  Go on get another, I dare you!'

 

 

 

 

I don't know which is worse. You in a tree or you whispering sweet nothings to poor gullible fools - other types of GWR modellers are available. But the combination of both is a run for the hills moment.

[Winslow Boy]

11 minutes ago, Hroth said:

My only Nativity exploit was as the Donkey.  My performance was so bad that I was never cast again.

 

Result!

 

There does seem to be a common theme developing with the casting of the donkey or more technically The Ass role, but I just can't put my finger on it and truth be told I'm coming round to the position that that might not be a bad thing.

Edited December 4, 2023 by Winslow Boy

[Hroth]

5 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

There does seem to be a common theme developing with the casting of the donkey or more technically The Ass role, but I just can't put my finger on it and truth be told I'm coming round to the position that that might not be a bad thing.

 

Consider the Donkey in Animal Farm, the only one who knew What Was Going On...

 

 

[Happy Hippo]

8 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

There does seem to be a common theme developing with the casting of the donkey or more technically The Ass role, but I just can't put my finger on it and truth be told I'm coming round to the position that that might not be a bad thing.

Your finger: My Ass.

 

Not a combination that would fill many here with much confidence.

[Hroth]

A mug of coffee (Taylors Christmas Blend) and a mince pie while listening to a carol on the wireless.

 

Am I getting too Christmassy too soon?

 

[PhilJ W]

5 hours ago, iL Dottore said:

p.s. As a non-profit organisation, the Panto Company we had raised money for charity (who got all monies left over after running and staging costs had been met) and I’m pleased to say that we were able, each year, to donate about £10,000 to our favourite charity.

Panto's are all that keeps many provincial theatres going, the profits from which pay the bills for the whole year. 

[SM42]

Only in a nativity once.  Aged 4

I was a shepherd.  

Dressed in a stripy nightshirt and  tea towel headgear held on with a bit of old rope. 

 

Non speaking part. 

 

The zenith and nadir of my acting career all in one. 

 

After that,in sixth form, props department for South Pacific was the nearest I got to a career on the boards. 

 

 

 

Andy

[Hroth]

When I was there, my senior school would not consider anything as modern as South Pacific for a school production.  Shakespeare all the way, supporting the current O Level Eng Lit syllabus.

 

Of course, the main problem with plays in an all boys school is casting the feminine parts, which can be tricky, despite boys in female roles being historically valid.

 

Try telling that to a spotty 4th year!

 

 

Edited December 4, 2023 by Hroth
Another thort....

[jamie92208]

10 minutes ago, Hroth said:

When I was there, my senior school would not consider anything as modern as South Pacific for a school production.  Shakespeare all the way, supporting the current O Level Eng Lit syllabus.

 

Of course, the main problem with plays in an all boys school is casting the feminine parts, which can be tricky, despite boys in female roles being historically valid.

 

Try telling that to a spotty 4th year!

 

 

We had the same problem for female parts in Gilbert and Sullivan operas for speech day concerts.  I was one of the chorus in the Mikado and found an entry in my school diary when I was 12, about having to go for a dress fitting for my pRt in Pirates.  Fortunately it has had no effect on my choice of attire these days.  

 

Jamie

[Hroth]

I believe that long after I left, the school entered into a reciprocal agreement with the girls grammar school for casting productions. Of course, this brought its own nest of problems...

 

[Dave Hunt]

During one of my tours at Coningsby my boss's wife was the producer at the theatre club so when she asked me to help out with stage sets and such I agreed. One night during an early rehearsal for a panto I was getting some props organised when the producer said that the chap who was to play Old Mother Hubbard hadn't turned up so would I read the part for the other actors to work around. I agreed and read the lines using the sort of voice that Terry Jones had put on as Brian's mum in The Life of Brian. Schoolboy error David. "That's great," said the producer, "You've got the part." Naturally I protested but to no avail and since she was my boss's wife I did the natural, cowardly, thing and gave in. My performance went down very well so I ended up doing Widow Twanky, and an Ugly sister in subsequent years. One year I dragged the Station Commander onto the stage to dance and he said quietly, "You'll pay for this Hunt." Six months later I got promoted.

 

Dave  

[SM42]

The props job was fun. 

 

Recreating thr South Pacific in the 40s was a challenge. 

 

The Budweiser cans were a nice touch. 

Too modern, but it didn't detract as set dressing 

A lunchtime  trip to the off licence down the road, but what to do with the undrinkable contents?

 

Easy really. Offer it to passing first years. 

 

The Physics department supplied something that could pass as a radio set, our intrepid actor being instructed to " twiddle his knobs"

 

The one thing I couldn't manage was a shadow to go across the stage to match in with the Catalina taking off ( and the sound effect was a real one, recorded by an uncle, at Old Warden Air show) 

 

We were quite proud of our sets. 

 

Only other thing we had to do was ply Bloody Mary with whisky to quell stage nerves. 

 

Andy

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

6 hours ago, iL Dottore said:

Whilst on the subject of theatre, I must confess that I have acted in a semi-professional capacity (a sort of a half-way house between amateur and pro) and from that period my favourite role was that of a perverted murderer. The script was easy to master and thus the role was great fun to play.

 'Snap!' A wonderful friend - sadly too fond of the famed water of life and no longer with us as a result - dragged me into a production at no notice which required a 'sinister character' to appear on stage at critical moments and utter unpleasantnesses various. Nothing like doing what comes naturally.

 

Only time on stage since the decision made after playing a ragamuffin in Oliver Twist at age 11 'Not doing anything like that again'. Worked in the school lighting and effects team instead, rheostat control of filament lamps, up ladders 30ft above floor with no safety assessments, had a whale of a time; only accident was when (unannounced) hairspray was used on stage. I got a good laugh out of my improv line 'Would madam like a mirror?' after the actress concerned copped some of the foam from the extinguisher.

[newbryford]

17 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

 

 

After this afternoon's efforts, I have decided it would improve safety if I were to make a fixture to ensure everything is held sensibly whilst holes are being drilled with a 12 mm drill.

 

 

 

Would having 10 fingers help with that? 

[newbryford]

15 hours ago, Tony_S said:

If you found another couple of wise men to go with,  you could put on a nativity play

 

Two wise men?

In Telfland??????

[New Haven Neil]

6 hours ago, polybear said:

It sure as hell beats being the ar5e end of a Donk.

 

Not his best view, he'd be the first to admit I'm sure....

 

[Canal Digger]

A few years ago I got asked to help out with the lighting of a local AmDram production, however the  'ask' came via a text message which I didn't get until 10 min after start of First Night, with the hall being 10 min away! So I found myself working a Follow Spot (a new experience!), part way through show, with the instruction 'Pick up on Mary as she .....', errr which one is Mary? err What lever does what? Too late

[monkeysarefun]

17 hours ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

Thanks Ian. Exactly the sort of thing I needed to hear. Mind you, Christmas would probably be cancelled so there would be a silver lining.

 

Dave

 

 

Hopefully its not too late to change your mind.

 

Do you know that the number of people killed in Australia by all our "scary" venomous snakes between 2000 and 2013 was 27.

 

In the same time period, the number of people  killed by horses was 74.

 

They are psychopaths just looking for any weakness to exploit in order to murder you,  often after taunting you mercilessly  if what has been reported here is true. 

 

Friendly suggestion -  take a gun and get them before they get you. 

Edited December 4, 2023 by monkeysarefun

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

1 hour ago, monkeysarefun said:

In the same time period, the number of people  killed by horses was 74.

 

They are psychopaths just looking for any weakness to exploit in order to murder you,

This is very true. The statistics for mid C19th London attributed over 5,000 deaths to 'accidents and other events related to horses'. This has stuck in my mind ever since because I had not long previously read a late 1960s government report on the UK's annual road fatalities at circa 5,000 as a cause for greater road and vehicle safety investment, and a couple who were friends of my parents, had both recently been seriously injured when an escaping carthorse landed on top of their Ford Anglia.

 

1 hour ago, monkeysarefun said:

Do you know that the number of people killed in Australia by all our "scary" venomous snakes between 2000 and 2013 was 27.

And in case any Australian residents think that little old England poses no hazards:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-67612361