The Night Mail

[Dave Hunt]

8 hours ago, coastalview said:

Had the equivalent to one of those for the M6 Toll. It was immensely rewarding to overtake those people queueing to pay after they had gone flying past you on the motorway.

 

I'm surprised that you refer to people queuing to pay on the M6 toll. I almost invariably use it when travelling through the Birmingham area north to south or vice versa ( I use the M6 late at night or stupidly early in the morning) and can't recall ever having to wait for more than one car ahead of me to clear the pay booths. Maybe I've just been lucky but that includes travelling at times when the M6 becomes a car park albeit not in the same league as the M25.

 

Dave 

[Winslow Boy]

17 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

Nyda is a tad annoyed!

 

Not with me I hasten to add, but with 'Christmas Hacks' posted on social media by 'influencers'.

 

Her annoyance is caused by the simple truth that these 'latest' ideas are all old hat.

 

'We've been doing this for years' I hear her yelling at her laptop.

 

I suspect that I do not only speak for this family, and those reading this are raising their eyes skyward at what is only really a bit of common sense and frugality.

 

I understand that gold fish have a memory retention of six seconds somewhat more then of social influencer's.

[polybear]

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

I want to correct some extremely misleading statements regarding bacon and egg baps that have been made recently. As is widely acknowledged, bacon 'n egg baps are the finest food known to man, beating even LDC and that's saying something,

 

Just think.....a B & E Bap with LDC Chaser......

 

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

but unfortunately there are those who would sully them by:

1. Putting butter on the bread.

 

Absolutely essential......

 

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

2. Adding contaminants such as baked beans (punishable by strangulation), black pudding (yuk), cheese, mayonnaise and other foul substances.

 

I'll agree with the Black Pudding statement, and admit that the addition of certain other accessories may deviate slightly from the Original Recipe......though referring to them as "contaminants" is somewhat harsh.....

 

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

The bacon 'n egg bap should only consist of white bread bap, dipped in the bacon fat, lots of crispy bacon and an egg cooked so that the yolk is thickened but still flowing. The addition of HP sauce is condoned in some quarters but is not to my personal taste.

 

 

A double decker B & E Sarnie is a joy to behold - toasting the bread helps it stay in one piece.

[Winslow Boy]

3 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

I'm surprised that you refer to people queuing to pay on the M6 toll. I almost invariably use it when travelling through the Birmingham area north to south or vice versa ( I use the M6 late at night or stupidly early in the morning) and can't recall ever having to wait for more than one car ahead of me to clear the pay booths. Maybe I've just been lucky but that includes travelling at times when the M6 becomes a car park albeit not in the same league as the M25.

 

Dave 

 

On the odd occasion i used the toll road i found it virtually empty.

 

Whilst the M25 was certainly busy i never got held up but of course i was using it very early or late evening.

[Happy Hippo]

2 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

I'm surprised that you refer to people queuing to pay on the M6 toll. I almost invariably use it when travelling through the Birmingham area north to south or vice versa ( I use the M6 late at night or stupidly early in the morning) and can't recall ever having to wait for more than one car ahead of me to clear the pay booths. Maybe I've just been lucky but that includes travelling at times when the M6 becomes a car park albeit not in the same league as the M25.

 

Dave 

I have known queues at the tolls on the M6, but they were usually a result of payment booths being closed (in the good old days of manual operation and paying by cash).

 

These days, it card payment only and a lot quicker.

 

We too prefer to pay the toll rather than sit on the north Birmingham car park.

 

(Although we also have the option of going down to Kidderminster and then cutting across on the A456 to join the M40).

 

Going to Reading we went down the A442 towards Worcester then picked up the M5.  Left that a J11 and went up the hill to the 'Air Balloon' then dwon the A417 to Swindon and joined the M4.

 

Of course we varied that on the way back and used the A34 and then the M40/M42/M6 Toll and came into Telfland from the east via the A5.

 

The only time we use the old M6 south is when we have to go to IKEA in Walsall.

[Happy Hippo]

6 minutes ago, polybear said:

 

Just think.....a B & E Bap with LDC Chaser......

 

 

 

I can never think beyond baps.

[Dave Hunt]

2 hours ago, jamie92208 said:

It was this time of year that I had 3 cuts in a fortnight when I joined the job.  My hair went from shoulder length to very short and I definitely  felt the cold. It din't help that it was frosty and the parade ground faced the north east wind from Siberia.

 

Me too. I joined the RAF in January 1966 and on seeing me the discip. sgt. nearly had a fit so I had a haircut. The station barber only knew one hair style - the crew cut - so I emerged shorn of my auburn locks and feeling decidedly cold around the ears. The PE regime was equally harsh so I lost a lot of weight very quickly. The result was that when Jill came down to see me eight weeks later and was serving behind the bar in the local pub she didn't recognise me when I went up and ordered a drink!

 

Dave 

[Happy Hippo]

7 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

On the odd occasion i used the toll road i found it virtually empty.

 

Whilst the M25 was certainly busy i never got held up but of course i was using it very early or late evening.

I once spent 4 hours on the M25 due to some Ar*ewa*k deciding to try to cross from lane four to the slip road at high speed less than 100 metres from the exit. 

 

As you can imagine he didn't make it.

[Dave Hunt]

21 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

Since I saw the consultant about my finger early last week, the 'finger nails' on my stumpy finger have decided it is worth starting to grow again.

 

The finger 'tip' now taking on the appearance of a horned viper's head!

 

The nails are snagging on things, but there is nothing tangible to cut off.

 

Various suggestions have been made, including one female neighbour who suggested that I use a 'willy warmer'.

 

I can bring my Dremel with a grinding disc on it round if that would help....

 

Dave

[Happy Hippo]

21 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

Me too. I joined the RAF in January 1966 and on seeing me the discip. sgt. nearly had a fit so I had a haircut. The station barber only knew one hair style - the crew cut - so I emerged shorn of my auburn locks and feeling decidedly cold around the ears. The PE regime was equally harsh so I lost a lot of weight very quickly. The result was that when Jill came down to see me eight weeks later and was serving behind the bar in the local pub she didn't recognise me when I went up and ordered a drink!

 

Dave 

One of my better practical jokes occurred when a friend and I got sent of a course at the Guards depot at Pirbright.

 

We turned up with rather long flowing hair, luxurious moustaches and mutton chop style side burns.

 

Having passed through the normal security at the gate we went into the guard room and booked onto the course.  As it was Pirbright there were lots of courses running, so you had to work out which course to book onto and having signed the arrival sheet went to the block indicated on the top of the sheet where you got your welcome pack (bedding!)

 

As we left the guardroom, we were challenged by the Provost Lcpl and we told him, slightly rudely, we were on the drill course and didn't answer to a junior NCO, then we disappeared into the night.

 

Next morning the little weasel we'd met the night before was with the drill sergeant trying to trace the long haired hippies who were on the drill course.  But they were now where to be found. So the course, (all sergeants) got sent to get yet another haircut by way of punishing them all for the sins of the few.

 

' The two of you taking the p*ss know who you are, so you can make it up to the rest of the course' screamed the drill pig.

 

But the few had long since ditched the wigs and theatrical make up, and were off to the armoury with the rest of the Small Arms course.

 

Misinformation is a wonderful attribute in the right hands

Edited December 14, 2022 by Happy Hippo

[Dave Hunt]

10 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I once spent 4 hours on the M25 due to some Ar*ewa*k deciding to try to cross from lane four to the slip road at high speed less than 100 metres from the exit. 

 

As you can imagine he didn't make it.

 

My worst M25 experiences were three hours stationary waiting for a burning car to be extinguished and removed, another three hour wait while the aftermath of a white van man passing too close when overtaking a caravan, resulting in the caravan being drawn into contact with the van then oscillating side to side causing both it and the van to overturn (I didn't see it happen but was told about it later) and two and a half hours to cover 25 miles simply due to traffic density. As Chris Rea said, it is The Road To Hell.

 

Dave

[Happy Hippo]

11 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

I can bring my Dremel with a grinding disc on it round if that would help....

 

Dave

It's probably a bit too coarse, I did try my Minidrill with a flat sanding disc, but the finger tip is too sensitive and I couldn't keep the one hand still enough, and my right hand holding the drill was shaky anyway, so it was quite uncomfortable and I gave up

 

I suppose I could try and keep the hand still by clamping it into my big machine vice and milling the nail(s) down with a fly cutter......

[Compound2632]

2 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

L&NWR Society December Quiz on Zoom!

 

Failed dismally. Couldn't tell my Bill Baileys from my 19" Goods.

[Northmoor]

20 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

My worst M25 experiences were three hours stationary waiting for a burning car to be extinguished and removed, another three hour wait while the aftermath of a white van man passing too close when overtaking a caravan, resulting in the caravan being drawn into contact with the van then oscillating side to side causing both it and the van to overturn (I didn't see it happen but was told about it later) and two and a half hours to cover 25 miles simply due to traffic density. As Chris Rea said, it is The Road To Hell.

 

Dave

A former colleague of mine (a person who if something unfortunate could happen, it would), experienced something similar on a work drive from Farnborough to Waddington and back; four hours out, 40 minute meeting (!), about seven hours back.

 

Personally I've almost never been held up significantly on the M25.  When we used to drive North to visit the in-laws though, I lost count of the times when we sailed round the Orbital in about 40 minutes, joined the road-widening works on the South end of the M1 (which seemed to take about 20 years to complete) and stopped.  It once took us five hours to get to Derby, about 120 miles......

[polybear]

48 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I once spent 4 hours on the M25 due to some Ar*ewa*k deciding to try to cross from lane four to the slip road at high speed less than 100 metres from the exit. 

 

As you can imagine he didn't make it.

 

If Bear had a quid for every time I've seen that kinda stunt** I'd be a rich Bear....

(**There may be a typo there....😉)

 

29 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

My worst M25 experiences were three hours stationary waiting for a burning car to be extinguished and removed, another three hour wait while the aftermath of a white van man passing too close when overtaking a caravan, resulting in the caravan being drawn into contact with the van then oscillating side to side causing both it and the van to overturn (I didn't see it happen but was told about it later) and two and a half hours to cover 25 miles simply due to traffic density. As Chris Rea said, it is The Road To Hell.

 

Dave

 

It seems that many were stuck for 12 hours on the M25 a few nights ago due to the snow - I wonder what happens if you need a Number 2?

 

Actually, a Buddy at work revealed that when he has to go, he really does have to go - he then proceeded to reel off a Who's Who's List of Motorways where he's had to pull on to the Hard Shoulder for a Number 2 - making sure no Traffic Cameras were watching. 🤣

 

[jamie92208]

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

Me too. I joined the RAF in January 1966 and on seeing me the discip. sgt. nearly had a fit so I had a haircut. The station barber only knew one hair style - the crew cut - so I emerged shorn of my auburn locks and feeling decidedly cold around the ears. The PE regime was equally harsh so I lost a lot of weight very quickly. The result was that when Jill came down to see me eight weeks later and was serving behind the bar in the local pub she didn't recognise me when I went up and ordered a drink!

 

Dave 

If you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined is the old saying.

49 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

It's probably a bit too coarse, I did try my Minidrill with a flat sanding disc, but the finger tip is too sensitive and I couldn't keep the one hand still enough, and my right hand holding the drill was shaky anyway, so it was quite uncomfortable and I gave up

 

I suppose I could try and keep the hand still by clamping it into my big machine vice and milling the nail(s) down with a fly cutter......

Don't you have a table saw you could use.  Just asking for a friend.

 

Jamie

[PhilJ W]

I avoid the M25 as much as I can and use alternative routes whenever I can, even the North Circular (but even that gets a bit dodgy if there's a hold up on the M25. If I'm heading northwards I head up the A130 and the A414 and pick up the M11 at Stanstead. Then its the A1 or A14 depending on whether it NE or NW were I'm going.

[BoD]

I’ve never driven on the M25.

I think the closest I’ve been to it is Doncaster.

 

Just out of interest, how on earth does one manage to eat a bap with baked beans in it?

 

Black pudding - Stornaway, Clonakilty or my local butcher’s.  Yummy.

 

Edited December 15, 2022 by BoD

[Dave Hunt]

My worst motorway holdup was on the M5. We were stopped just before the end of the motorway near Exeter due to a campervan being on fire and that was it for the next six hours. Next to us was another VW campervan with four young Aussies and after a couple of hours one of them got a skateboard out and began running it up and down between the stationary vehicles. A police car came down the hard shoulder and when they saw the Aussie skateboarder stopped. A policewoman got out and solemnly told the lad, "You can't skateboard on a motorway." The people round her burst out laughing, which seemed to infuriate her and she started making allsorts of threats about obstructing the police etc. but before she could dig herself in any deeper the policeman got out of the car and persuaded her to leave things well alone, whereupon with severe glares at all of us who had tried to make her see sense she left. 

 

Dave

 

[Dave Hunt]

10 minutes ago, BoD said:

Just out of interest, how on earth does one manage to eat a bap with baked beans in it?

 

Made doubly difficult by the fact that anyone who wants to eat a bap with baked beans in it is probably in a straightjacket 😋

 

Dave

[Winslow Boy]

3 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

Made doubly difficult by the fact that anyone who wants to eat a bap with baked beans in it is probably in a straightjacket 😋

 

Dave

 

No you just stand them up against a door frame.

[Darlington_Shed]

1 hour ago, Happy Hippo said:

I suppose I could try and keep the hand still by clamping it into my big machine vice

 

Seems like overkill? Surely, every workshop has at least a benchtop disk sander...

[PhilJ W]

The biggest hold up on a motorway I experienced was on the M6 travelling south from Manchester. This was in November about thirty years ago and the cause was a blizzard. It started snowing as I left Manchester (about lunchtime) but by the time I'd reached Knutsford services it was quite heavy. However the services had no electricity so I carried on. By the time I got to Birmingham it was dark and I had to leave the motorway as so many vehicles had been abandoned. Fortunately they had opened up the NEC to shelter the stranded travellers and I spent the night there.

[Winslow Boy]

As the saying goes I've never been involved but seen thousands.

 

The only time i came close was when i was on a motorway, can't remember whether it was the M1 or M6, and a vehicle in the outside lane next to me swerved across behind  me, missed the car in the inside lane to come to a halt on the emergency lane.

 

It happened so suddenly i didn't have time to react and witnessed it in my rear view mirror. Somebody up there was definitely looking out for me that day.

 

I have no idea how they missed me or didn't run into the car following them as we were all doing a fair lick at the time.

[AndyID]

2 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

 

Of course we varied that on the way back and used the A34 and then the M40/M42/M6 Toll and came into Telfland from the east via the A5.

 

 

Arrg! I'm having flashbacks. 40+ years ago I used to set off up the A34 from a customer in Abingdon on too many Friday nights to drive to Prestwick.