LisaP4 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Oldddudders Posted October 27, 2009 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 27, 2009 Thankyou! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calnefoxile Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas Just don't mention the war Regards Neal. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robert Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Just don't mention the war I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoingUnderground Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Given the spelling abilities of some people, I think the change has already started. Look on the bright side. We'll be going back to our Anglo-Saxon roots. After all the Saxons came from Saxony, which is in modern Germany, and gave us much of the english language. Also the family name of the Royal Family is "Battenberg", (as in cake), which only got changed as a result of the first World War to "Windsor". Bring on the changes, tomorrow we will rule the world. Oops, sorry we stopped doing that 95 years go. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Steven B Posted October 28, 2009 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 28, 2009 Also the family name of the Royal Family is "Battenberg", (as in cake), which only got changed as a result of the first World War to "Windsor". Bring on the changes, tomorrow we will rule the world. Oops, sorry we stopped doing that 95 years go. Not true. The Royal Family website says the old family name as Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (The name Prince Albert brought with him when he married Victoria). Battenberg only comes into it with one of Victoria's granddaughters, Victoria of Hesse marrying Prince Louis of Battenberg (Victoria and Hesse being the Duke of Edinboroughs Maternal grandparents. Prince Philip's family name is different again. Happy modelling, Steven B. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Max Stafford Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 On another bright note, Germany also gave the world the Class 103 electric - finest leccy ever built! B) Dave. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoingUnderground Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Not true. The Royal Family website says the old family name as Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (The name Prince Albert brought with him when he married Victoria). Battenberg only comes into it with one of Victoria's granddaughters, Victoria of Hesse marrying Prince Louis of Battenberg (Victoria and Hesse being the Duke of Edinboroughs Maternal grandparents. Prince Philip's family name is different again. Happy modelling, Steven B. My apologies. You are right, it was the late Lord Mountbatten who changed his family name from Battenberg to Mountbatten. But my point that the Royal Family name changed to Windsor from a Germanic one is still valid. Slightly off topic, or perhaps not, why do us Brits seem to dislike the other European Nations so much and love the Yanks? I keep thinking of our relationship with the US as being like the weedy kid (Britain) in the playground who hangs out with the biggest kid in his class (the US) so he can say "I'm as important as him". Apologies to our US members, but the US governments generally seem to ignore the UK except when it suits them to do otherwise. Special Relationship? It's all in the minds of our politicians and top civil servants (Ducks, and runs for cover at very high speed.) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Max Stafford Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Economic leverage is the clincher. What remains of UK manufacturing is heavily reliant on US defence contracts. Therefore the Govt needs them more than they need us. But I get your point fully. Best leave it there though, we're being naughty...! Dave. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenser Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Slightly off topic, or perhaps not, why do us Brits seem to dislike the other European Nations so much and love the Yanks? I keep thinking of our relationship with the US as being like the weedy kid (Britain) in the playground who hangs out with the biggest kid in his class (the US) so he can say "I'm as important as him". Apologies to our US members, but the US governments generally seem to ignore the UK except when it suits them to do otherwise. Special Relationship? It's all in the minds of our politicians and top civil servants (Ducks, and runs for cover at very high speed.) We speak the same language, sort of, and deep historical and cultural connections. How many French language films do we watch? How much French television ? The language barrier is pretty important Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
coachmann Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 As for English language being adopted by Europe, there is enough trouble mastering it over here. I can barely understand Newcastle or Birmingham lingo, but ask an Indian in Huddersfield for directions and he is perfectly understood...."Sithee, follow t'bus and turn reet at leets".... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penlan Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 .... I can barely understand Newcastle or Birmingham lingo, .... I think that's dialect, not language. A woman in Penzance use to go to Brittany a lot for holidays, she had learnt French from a Parisian, the Breton's where both hostile to her and claimed they did not understand her version of French .... There was a Dialect problem. It's nice to know even some of the French (Breton's) don't like the rest of the French either. Penlan Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southernman46 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 If Blair gets the EU presidency then it'll be back to lies & spin as the official language Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertiedog Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 My apologies. You are right, it was the late Lord Mountbatten who changed his family name from Battenberg to Mountbatten. But my point that the Royal Family name changed to Windsor from a Germanic one is still valid. Slightly off topic, or perhaps not, why do us Brits seem to dislike the other European Nations so much and love the Yanks? I keep thinking of our relationship with the US as being like the weedy kid (Britain) in the playground who hangs out with the biggest kid in his class (the US) so he can say "I'm as important as him". Apologies to our US members, but the US governments generally seem to ignore the UK except when it suits them to do otherwise. Special Relationship? It's all in the minds of our politicians and top civil servants (Ducks, and runs for cover at very high speed.) 1000 years of on /off war with the French! Two world wars with the Germans, potential invasion by Spain..several times....perhaps the Italians went to far with the Roman Empire?...The occupants of these islands have always been cajoled and rivalled by the rest of Europe, both politically and about religion as well, blame Henry and his wifes for that! The US was ours after all, and we have been to war three times to get it's return!!!, so basically it is mutual distrust that keeps the US at bay, and deep distrust keeps Europe at bay......... OHH and don't blame the French for the Battle of Hastings and the Normans, the Normans were Vikings, as was Harold as well!!.. both sides related via King Canute, more of a family feud than an invasion..... Stephen. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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