WORLD'S WORST EVER MOVIES !

[allan downes]

With the Boss's permission, I have been given permission to go ahead with a light hearted diversion away from the dedicated topic of model railways which is namely an official collection of the worst movies ever made from both home and abroad.

 

Each post will carry an official poster of the movie in question along with a critics report.

 

I think you'll realize from this why many folk gave up cinema going for railway modelling !

 

Here then, is the first.

 

Cheers 

 

Allan

 

 

 

Reefer Madness (1936)

Reefer Madness (originally released as Tell Your Children and sometimes titled or subtitled as The Burning Question, Dope Addict, Doped Youth, and Love Madness) is a 1936 American exploitation film and propaganda work revolving around the melodramatic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try marijuana—from a hit and run accident, to manslaughter, suicide, attempted rape, and descent into madness. The Los Angeles Times has claimed that Reefer Madness was the first film that a generation embraced as "the worst".^[1] Leonard Maltin has called it "the grand-daddy of all 'Worst' movies".^[2]Las Vegas CityLife named it the "worst ever" runner-up to Plan 9 from Outer Space,^[3] and AMC described it as "one of the worst movies ever made".^[4] The movie has inspired a number of parodies, including an off-Broadway musical satire and a 2005 film based on the musical.

 

 

 

 

[autocoach]

With the Boss's permission, I have been given permission to go ahead with a light hearted diversion away from the dedicated topic of model railways which is namely an official collection of the worst movies ever made from both home and abroad.

 

Each post will carry an official poster of the movie in question along with a critics report.

 

I think you'll realize from this why many folk gave up cinema going for railway modelling !

 

Here then, is the first.

 

Cheers 

 

Allan

 

 

 

Reefer Madness (1936)

Reefer Madness (originally released as Tell Your Children and sometimes titled or subtitled as The Burning Question, Dope Addict, Doped Youth, and Love Madness) is a 1936 American exploitation film and propaganda work revolving around the melodramatic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try marijuana—from a hit and run accident, to manslaughter, suicide, attempted rape, and descent into madness. The Los Angeles Times has claimed that Reefer Madness was the first film that a generation embraced as "the worst".^[1] Leonard Maltin has called it "the grand-daddy of all 'Worst' movies".^[2]Las Vegas CityLife named it the "worst ever" runner-up to Plan 9 from Outer Space,^[3] and AMC described it as "one of the worst movies ever made".^[4] The movie has inspired a number of parodies, including an off-Broadway musical satire and a 2005 film based on the musical.

Here! Here now... I model Pacific Fruit Express ice cars which has also been called a case of Reefer madness.....

[allan downes]

I should have mentioned that each movie will require its own post.

 

Here's the next.

 

 

No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948)

No Orchids for Miss Blandish, a British gangster film adapted from the 1939 novel by James Hadley Chase, received a very hostile reception from the press. This was mainly due to the film's high (for the time) level of sexual and violent content, but also because its attempt to portray Americans using a largely British cast (including an early role for Sid James)^[5] was seen as unconvincing.^[6] The British film journal Monthly Film Bulletin called it "the most sickening exhibition of brutality, perversion, sex and ever to be shown on a cinema screen".^[6]The Sunday Express film reviewer called No Orchids for Miss Blandish "the worst film I have ever seen".^[7] The Australian newspaper The Age also gave a harsh review: "No Orchids for Miss Blandish is not only a disgrace to the studio that made it, but it also reflects on the British industry as a whole ... the entire production is unpardonable."^[8] Cliff Goodwin, discussing No Orchids For Miss Blandish's initial reception, notes it was "unanimously dubbed 'the worst film ever made'".^[5] Later reviews of the film were equally antipathetic. No Orchids for Miss Blandish was described by British film historian Leslie Halliwell as a "hilariously awful gangster film ... one of the worst films ever made".^[7]Leonard Maltin's Classic Movie Guide states "No Orchids for Miss Blandish misses by a mile."^[9]

[allan downes]

 

Suddenly I'm having problems with this folks.

 

Copy pasting has suddenly give up the ghost and a double posting turns up out of nowhere.

 

I'll try again later and, if it continues to fail, I'll have to abandon the thread.

 

Sorry about that as there's far, far worse movies to come, believe me !

 

Cheers.

 

Allan

[allan downes]

 

Glen or Glenda (1953)

A semi-autobiographical quasi-documentary about transvestism, Glen or Glenda starred and was directed by Ed Wood. After a nightmarish dream sequence, Glen undergoes psychotherapy to help cure his affliction. Bela Lugosi appears in this film, as he did in several other Wood films toward the end of his career. Leonard Maltin insists this was far worse than Wood's later Plan 9 from Outer Space and considers it "possibly the worst movie ever made".^[2]Richard Barrios describes Glen or Glenda as "one of the funniest and worst movies ever made".^[17] In his book Cult Movies 3, Danny Peary suggests this is actually a radical, if ineptly made, film that presents a far more personal story than is contained in films by more well-respected auteurs. The film currently has a 32% rating on the review website Rotten Tomatoes.^[18] In 1994, Tim Burton directed Ed Wood, which includes some material about the trials and tribulations of making Glen or Glenda.

[Horsetan]

Anything starring Steven Seagal.

[allan downes]

 

Robot Monster (1953)

Robot Monster, a science-fiction film originally shot and exhibited in 3D, features an actor dressed in a gorilla suit and what looks almost like a diving helmet. The film, produced and directed by Phil Tucker, is listed in Michael Sauter's book The Worst Movies of All Time among "The Baddest of the Bs" and has a 31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It is also featured in The Book of Lists 10 worst movies list, and in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. The Golden Turkey Awards confers on its main character the title of "Most Ridiculous Monster in Screen History" and, listing director Tucker among the runners-up to "Worst Director of All Time" (the winner being Ed Wood), states, "What made Robot Monster ineffably worse than any other low-budget sci-fi epic was its bizarre artistic pretension". It was featured in an episode of the movie-mocking television show Mystery Science Theater 3000,^[19] and was fondly remembered by author Stephen King, who quotes, and agrees with, a review in Castle of Frankenstein magazine ("certainly among the finest terrible movies ever made", "one of the most laughable poverty row quickies").^[20]

[allan downes]

 

The Babe Ruth Story (1948)

The Babe Ruth Story is a 1948 baseball film biography of Babe Ruth, starring William Bendix. The New York Times describes it as "the Plan 9 from Outer Space of baseball biopics".^[10] It was rushed into release while Ruth was still alive. The final scene is notable for Ruth delivering on a promise he made to a young cancer patient that he would hit a home run. Not only does Ruth succeed in fulfilling the promise, but also the child is subsequently cured of his cancer. Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe claimed the film was the worst he had ever seen,^[11] while the Washington Times stated that it "stands as possibly the worst movie ever made".^[12] The film has been called one of the worst sports films ever by Newsday and The A.V. Club,^[13][14] and called one of the worst biopics by Moviefone and Spike.^[15][16] Michael Sauter included it in his book The Worst Movies of All Time and Leonard Maltin called it "perfectly dreadful".

 

More later folks. Much more !

[Jonboy]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3120314/?ref_=nv_sr_1

 

shark exorcist, a dire attempt at the shark horror genre that makes the sharknado series look like a jaws quality picture. 71 minutes of my life I will not be getting back. I would provide a synopsis but there did not appear to be a plot...

[BoD]

Caligula.

That's it.

Just don't ask.

[cal.n]

Reasonably enjoyed the First 'Highander' Film. Good soundtrack, film average. It didn't warrant a sequel, let alone 5.

 

Highlander 5: The Source, is the fifth installment of the Highlander film series

 

 

Danél Griffin of Film as Art gave The Source one half star out of four, remarking that "it's bad—cheesily bad, colossally bad, monumentally bad, bad enough to make you never want to watch another movie again bad." Keith Breese of FilmCritic.com gave the film one star out of five, saying: "Not only will Highlander fans be disappointed by the film's nosedive into nonsense, but the average viewer will be stunned by the backyard quality of this film. The acting is uniformly terrible, the special effects are hideous, the sets are cheap and grubby, and the direction is uninspired. The film is an utter failure. ... Surely this is the final nail in the coffin lid for this film series. If it isn't, then something is truly wrong with the universe."

Edited August 27, 2017 by cal.n

[allan downes]

 

 

Bride of the Monster (1955)

Bride of the Monster is an ultra-low-budget monster/detective film written and directed by Ed Wood. Hungarian-accented German mad scientist Eric Vornoff (Bela Lugosi, in his last speaking role) aims to take over the world by creating a race of supermen in his isolated house located in a California swamp. He kills all those who displease him via crocodiles, octopuses and his large, stealthy henchman Lobo (Tor Johnson). Police lieutenant Dick Craig (Tony McCoy) and journalist Janet Lawton (Loretta King) set out to stop him. The film was featured as #3 on Paste Magazine's The 10 Worst Films Ever Featured on MST3K, and the publication spoke that "this film was made famous by Tim Burton’s Ed Wood because of the use of a lifeless giant octopus that actors would have to fruitlessly thrash around with to try and make it look like, you know, it was alive and attacking them. This is emblematic of the movie, and of Wood as a filmmaker in general." Leonard Maltin called this film "another hilariously inept Z-grade piece of trash from the king of bad cinema",^{[citation needed]} and Dennis Schwartz of Ozus' World of Movie Reviews said "it's more fun than its ridiculous story and brutal acting and incompetently designed sets would indicate".^[21] The film was also featured in a 2004 DVD 50 Worst Movies Ever Made, and in Michael Medved's book The Golden Turkey Awards: Nominees and Winners, the Worst Achievements in Hollywood History.^[22]

[allan downes]

 

The Conqueror (1956)

Howard Hughes funded The Conqueror, an epic film featuring John Wayne as Mongolian chieftain Genghis Khan and the redheaded Susan Hayward as a Tatar princess. The movie was filmed near St. George, Utah, downwind from a nuclear testing range in Nevada, and is often blamed for the cancer deaths of many of the cast and crew, including Hayward, Wayne, Agnes Moorehead, Pedro Armendáriz, and director Dick Powell.^[23] In addition to filming near the testing range, truckloads of the red sands were transported back to the studios for interior scenes. The film made the ten-worst list in The Book of Lists, appears in Michael Sauter's book The Worst Movies of All Time, and was among those listed in Michael Medved's book The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. Originally written for Marlon Brando, The Guardian called the choice of Wayne for Khan "one of the worst casting decisions of all time".^[24]Complex listed The Conqueror as the worst biopic ever made.^[25]

Hughes, one of the world's wealthiest people at the time, had previously produced the popular dramatic films Hell's Angels, Scarface, and The Outlaw.^[26] After seeing The Conqueror himself, Hughes bought every existing print for $12 million and refused to let the film be seen on television until 1974, reportedly out of guilt over the decision to shoot at such a hazardous location.^[27] By 1980, 91 of the 220 cast and crew members had been diagnosed with cancer.^[24] This was the last film Hughes produced

[allan downes]

 

Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956)

Fire Maidens from Outer Space, a low-budget British space opera film (known in the US as Fire Maidens of Outer Space), is about a group of astronauts visiting an all-female society on a moon of Jupiter. This film developed a negative reputation for its poor special effects (including a scene on the alien planet, where an automobile is visible driving past).^[28] Leslie Halliwell described Fire Maidens from Outer Space as "a strong contender for the title of the worst movie ever made, with diaphanously clad English gals striking embarrassed poses against cardboard sets".^[29] British film historian I.Q. Hunter included it in his list of candidates for "the worst British film ever made".^[30] The DVD Talk website's review claimed it "may be among the worst-ever professionally produced science fiction films".^[28] In November 1992, the film was featured in an episode of Mystery Science 

[allan downes]

 

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space was labeled the "Worst Film Ever" by The Golden Turkey Awards. This movie marked the final film appearance of Bela Lugosi. Wood shot only a small amount of test footage featuring his idol Lugosi before the actor's death. Afterwards, the character was played by Tom Mason, the chiropractor of Wood's wife (Kathy O'Hara) at the time, who played his scenes holding the character's cape in front of his face. Wood was apparently undeterred by the numerous physical differences – such as height and build, and the fact that Mason was nearly bald while Lugosi retained a full head of hair until he died – that distinguished Mason from Lugosi. Years later, video distributors such as Avenue One DVD began to make light of this, adding such blurbs as "Almost Starring Bela Lugosi" to the cover art. Numerous critics also pointed out the cheap, hardly believable special effects and kitschy dialogue.

Shot in 1956, the film was not released until 1959 because of difficulty in finding a distributor. It has played at the New Orleans Worst Film Festival. In 1994, Tim Burton directed Ed Wood, which includes some material about the trials and tribulations of making Plan 9. Phil Hall of Film Threat calls it "far too entertaining to be considered as the very worst film ever made".^[31] Likewise, John Wirt of The Advocate goes as far as to call it "the ultimate cult flick",^[31] and Videohound's Complete Guide to Cult Flicks and Trash Pics states, "In fact, the film has become so famous for its own badness that it's now beyond criticism."^[32] Ian Berriman of SFX commented about the unintentional comedy, "Some things are best watched at 3 am, wrapped in the warm glow of drunkenness ... Plan 9 From Outer Space is one of them." The Radio Times Guide to Films described Plan 9 as "the worst film ever made" and "tediously depressing".^[33] However, Plan 9 has a rating of 67% on Rotten Tomatoes.^[31]

[The Stationmaster]

Brilliant Allan - keep 'em coming.

[allan downes]

 

 

The Beast of Yucca Flats is a B-movie horror film released in 1961. It was produced by Anthony Cardoza, Coleman Francis, Roland Morin, Jim Oliphant, Larry Aten and Bing Stafford. The film was directed and written by Francis.

The film stars Swedish former wrestler Tor Johnson. The plot concerns a Soviet scientist (Johnson), who defects and flees to a Nevada Test Site called Yucca Flats, only to be turned into a monster by radiation, stalking the desert. The film has very little dialogue and most of the speech is done by omniscient narration provided by writer/director Francis.

Some critics have characterized the film as one of the worst science fiction horror films made, and one of the all-time worst films of any kind, even suggesting that it may be worse than Ed Wood's legendarily bad Plan 9 from Outer Space.^[1] In 1995, the television comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000 featured The Beast of Yucca Flats, helping the film develop a cult status.

[big jim]

How about......

 

 

We watched it last week after finding it in a charity shop on DVD for 50p, if nothing else at least we helped some injured hedgehogs, truly awful but the kids liked it!

 

Looking on Wikipedia it would appear that the film had a complete rewrite after Bob Hoskins and Dennis hopper signed up for it, both describe it as the worst thing they have ever done!!

 

From Wikipedia.....

 

Super Mario Bros. is a 1993 American science-fiction action comedy adventure fantasy film based on the Japanese video game series of the same name by Nintendo and distributed by The Walt Disney Studios through Hollywood Pictures, thus becoming one of several rare occasions where Disney and Nintendo have collaborated. The film was directed by Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel, written by Parker Bennett, Terry Runté and Ed Solomon, and stars Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Fiona Shaw and Richard Edson. The story revolves around the titular Mario brothers, as they find a parallel universe, ruled by the ruthless dictator King Koopa, who seeks to merge the two dimensions together so that he can rule both worlds, leaving it up to Mario and Luigi to join forces with Princess Daisy, the daughter of the world's displaced King, to stop Koopa.

 

As of January 1, 2017, review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes reports that 15% of critics gave positive reviews based on 34 reviews, with an average rating of 3.7/10. The site's consensus states: "Despite flashy sets and special effects, Super Mario Bros. is too light on story and substance to be anything more than a novelty."Gene Siskel of the Chicago Tribune and Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times gave the film two thumbs down on the television program Siskel & Ebert At the Movies,and the film was on their list for one of the worst films of 1993.Michael Wilmington of the Los Angeles Times disapproved of the film's script.However, Hal Hinson of the Washington Post gave a positive review, praising the film for its spirit and later went on to say, "In short, it's a blast."Janet Maslin of The New York Times gave another positive review, but said that the film "doesn't have the jaunty hop-and-zap spirit of the Nintendo video game from which it takes – ahem – its inspiration."

[allan downes]

 

Eegah (1962)

The low-budget shocker Eegah features Richard Kiel as a prehistoric caveman emerging in early 1960s California who finds love with another teenager. Arch Hall, Jr. performs musical numbers, with lyrics widely considered terrible. The film's notoriety was enhanced as a result of being featured on episodes of Canned Film Festival and Mystery Science Theater 3000,^[37] where the cast of the show stated in The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide (ISBN 0-553-37783-3), that they consider the shaving scene (where Eegah lolls his tongue around and laps up shaving cream) one of the most disgusting things they have seen. It was also one of the films listed in Michael Medved's book The Fifty Worst Films of All Time.^[38]

[allan downes]

 

The Creeping Terror (1964)

The science-fiction/horror film The Creeping Terror was directed, produced, and edited by Vic Savage (under the pseudonym A.J. Nelson, but he keeps his name when credited as an actor). The movie is about a large slug-like alien that lands on Earth and terrorizes an American town.^[39] The film is memorable for its use of some bargain-basement effects: stock footage of a rocket launch played in reverse to depict the landing of an alien spacecraft, and the "monster" appears to be composed of a length of shagpile carpet draped over several actors. Notably, the creature's victims inexplicably stand perfectly still as the slow-moving monster approaches them. Scott Weinberg of efilmcritic.com simply summarizes the movie with "You've seen clips of this one in those 'awful, awful movies' documentaries." The movie was featured in the sixth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.^[40][41]

Edited August 28, 2017 by allan downes

[Dunsignalling]

 

 

Any of the remakes of classics where the originals got it pretty much dead right. True Grit, The Italian Job and The Parent Trap spring very readily to mind.

 

Personally, I think the "Schlock Horror" genre is great fun.

 

John

Edited August 28, 2017 by Dunsignalling

[allan downes]

 

The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

Mystery Science Theater 3000 featured The Horror of Party Beach in 1997, and the film was listed in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. Del Tenney directed it, and the plot mainly consists of sea monsters attacking young women at slumber parties on a beach, who keep returning even after a few murders. The New York Times film review stated, "The most to be said for him is that he has not stinted on the gore."^[42] Thomas Lisanti in Hollywood Surf and Beach Movies: The First Wave, 1959–1969 called it "by far the worst of the sixties beach films", and Stephen King called it "an abysmal little wet fart of a film".^[43] Joe Meyers in the Hearst newspaper blog for the Stamford Advocate said on Del Tenney's passing: "Connecticut had its own Ed Wood, an actor, director and entrepreneur named Del Tenney who made a series of truly awful pictures in the Stamford area during the 1960s, the most notorious of which is Horror of Party Beach, a 1964 drive-in quickie about an atomic mutation that terrorizes Stamford ('Party Beach' was actually Shippan Point)."^[44] It is also listed in Michael Sauter's book The Worst Movies of All Time.^[45]

[allan downes]

A MONSTER MUSICAL ????????????

 

Oh but yes, this is, after all, HOLLYWOOD !

 

 

 

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (1964)

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies?!! (sometimes billed as The Incredibly Strange Creatures) is a 1964 American monster movie written and directed by Ray Dennis Steckler. Steckler also starred in the film, billed under the pseudonym "Cash Flagg". In the film, three friends visit a carnival and stumble into a group of occultists and disfigured monsters. Produced on a $38,000 budget, much of it takes place at The Pike amusement park in Long Beach, California, which resembles Brooklyn's Coney Island. The film was billed as the first "monster musical", beating out The Horror of Party Beach by a mere month in release date. The 2004 DVD The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made listed this film as the worst film of all time.^[46] The rock critic Lester Bangs wrote an appreciative 1973 essay about Incredibly Strange Creatures in which he tries to explain and justify the movie's value: "this flick doesn't just rebel against, or even disregard, standards of taste and art. In the universe inhabited by The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, such things as standards and responsibility have never been heard of. It is this lunar purity which largely imparts to the film its classic stature. Like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and a very few others, it will remain as an artifact in years to come to which scholars and searchers for truth can turn and say, 'This was trash!'"^[47] It currently has a 20% "Rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes.^[48]

Edited August 28, 2017 by allan downes

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

But most of these are funny failures in just so many ways.

 

My personal Z list film is 'As Good As It Gets'. Or more accurately 'As bad as it gets'....

[allan downes]

 

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a 1964 American science fiction comedy film directed by Nicholas Webster, written by Paul L. Jacobson based on a story by Glenville Mareth, stars John Call as Santa Claus, and features an eight year old Pia Zadora as one of the Martian children. The film also marks the first documented appearance of Mrs. Claus in a motion picture (Doris Rich plays the role), coming three weeks before the television special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, which also featured the character.

The film regularly appears on lists of the worst films ever made , and is regularly featured in the "bottom 100" list on the Internet Movie Database, and was featured in an episode of the 1986 syndicated series, the Canned Film Festival. The film took on newfound fame in the 1990s after being featured on an episode of the comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The episode became a holiday staple on the Comedy Central cable channel in the years following its 1991 premiere. It has since found new life again, as it has been the subject of new riffing by Cinematic Titanic and RiffTrax, both productions of former MST3K writers and performers. Similar series, such as "The Best of the Worst" series produced by RedLetterMedia, have refused to review it because of its extremely poor quality. The film was also featured on the current run of Elvira's Movie Macabre.