monkeysarefun Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) Don't tell me you guys voted in a non Oz ! Or worse still, a Pom ! You blokes have been too busy with that brexit stuff - whatever that is - to take in actual news. But, here is a quick catchup on the current state of our government here. Our deputy PM looks like this: Here he is again. And again, with an Australian flag behind him. And yet another.. And this is him, having a beer with all his mates. All in all, he looks true blue Aussie as. But then sudenly a couple of months ago out of the blue , THIS picture appeared.... Yes, that's a sheep. And that can only mean one thing. He might be a New Zealander. Under our constitution part 44 or some number, you cannot be a New Zealander AND be our deputy PM at the same time so the High Court is currently sorting it all out using big books. Hopefully this week they'll come up with something and either he'll be an Australian and be allowed to drink beer and stand in front of our flag, or - he'll be a New Zealander and have to put up with jokes about him having sex with sheep. Edited October 21, 2017 by monkeysarefun Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) Somehow, a ‘map of Van Diemens Land’ wouldn’t have had the same ring to it........ A ha! you said 'ring!' Which is another naughty Australian slang word, making your post especially funny! Edited October 21, 2017 by monkeysarefun 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 A ha! you said 'ring!' Which is another naughty Australian slang word, making your post especially funny!I don’t know what you mean, honestly....... 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I don’t know what you mean, honestly....... Don't despair. Although your admission means that you will never get full citizenship, you can probably still get here via a 457 work visa. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sp1 Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Don't despair. Although your admission means that you will never get full citizenship, you can probably still get here via a 457 work visa.Can’t I still do what my ancestors brother did in 1835 - he got free passage on a boat rather than having his neck stretched...... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 You blokes have been too busy with that brexit stuff - whatever that is - to take in actual news. But, here is a quick catchup on the current state of our government here. Our deputy PM looks like this: bj1.jpg Here he is again. bj5.jpg And again, with an Australian flag behind him. bj2.jpg And yet another.. bj3.jpg And this is him, having a beer with all his mates. bj7.jpg All in all, he looks true blue Aussie as. But then sudenly a couple of months ago out of the blue , THIS picture appeared.... bjsheep.jpg Yes, that's a sheep. And that can only mean one thing. He might be a New Zealander. Under our constitution part 44 or some number, you cannot be a New Zealander AND be our deputy PM at the same time so the High Court is currently sorting it all out using big books. Hopefully this week they'll come up with something and either he'll be an Australian and be allowed to drink beer and stand in front of our flag, or - he'll be a New Zealander and have to put up with jokes about him having sex with sheep. Sheep dipping we call it because we don't want to encourage pre school leavers by suggesting that, with a good pair of wellingtons and more than just a little determination, one could actually have sex with a sheep and, if you stood on a mates shoulders, then even with a short cow. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Sheep dipping we call it because we don't want to encourage pre school leavers by suggesting that, with a good pair of wellingtons and more than just a little determination, one could actually have sex with a sheep and, if you stood on a mates shoulders, then even with a short cow. These are answers to questions that many of us weren't going to ask. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 21, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 21, 2017 You blokes have been too busy with that brexit stuff - whatever that is - to take in actual news. But, here is a quick catchup on the current state of our government here. Our deputy PM looks like this: bj1.jpg Here he is again. bj5.jpg And again, with an Australian flag behind him. bj2.jpg And yet another.. bj3.jpg And this is him, having a beer with all his mates. bj7.jpg All in all, he looks true blue Aussie as. But then sudenly a couple of months ago out of the blue , THIS picture appeared.... bjsheep.jpg Yes, that's a sheep. And that can only mean one thing. He might be a New Zealander. Under our constitution part 44 or some number, you cannot be a New Zealander AND be our deputy PM at the same time so the High Court is currently sorting it all out using big books. Hopefully this week they'll come up with something and either he'll be an Australian and be allowed to drink beer and stand in front of our flag, or - he'll be a New Zealander and have to put up with jokes about him having sex with sheep. Thats nothing, we have a former Prime Minister famed for doing things with a dead pig. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Thats nothing, we have a former Prime Minister famed for doing things with a dead pig. ....allegedly. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blue Streak Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Never mind the deputy PM, the High Court is investigating half the parliament as being ring ins !!! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted October 22, 2017 Author RMweb Premium Share Posted October 22, 2017 Never mind the deputy PM, the High Court is investigating half the parliament as being ring ins !!! Then of course, we will have electricity 'savings' of $115 per annum, by 2020. Still waiting for the last promise of $500 a year, instead its gone up by much more than that. Don't hold your breath! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 A casual thought over breakfast this morning. How well do Sat Navs work in Australia because one false direction and you could end up thousands of miles from where you want to be. Here in the UK it's not so bad as there's always an alternative route where at most you could only be 20 miles or so off course - but Lincolnshire also has its infamous 'Hibby Bridge' This is a six foot wide rickety old bridge that crosses the River Ancholme. To get to it off the main road you have to drive three miles down a very narrow farm track where it's absolutely impossible for even a car to turn round and come back yet frequently Sat Navs send 40 ft articulated trucks down it where they all end up at Hibby Bridge with nowhere else to go other than back up the three miles to the main road and, quite often, in the dark.and a feat that often requires police assistance.Then, of course, the unthinkable - a convoy of trucks misdirected - and it's happened ! So, can Oz drivers beat that ? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRman Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 A casual thought over breakfast this morning. How well do Sat Navs work in Australia because one false direction and you could end up thousands of miles from where you want to be. Here in the UK it's not so bad as there's always an alternative route where at most you could only be 20 miles or so off course - but Lincolnshire also has its infamous 'Hibby Bridge' This is a six foot wide rickety old bridge that crosses the River Ancholme. To get to it off the main road you have to drive three miles down a very narrow farm track where it's absolutely impossible for even a car to turn round and come back yet frequently Sat Navs send 40 ft articulated trucks down it where they all end up at Hibby Bridge with nowhere else to go other than back up the three miles to the main road and, quite often, in the dark.and a feat that often requires police assistance.Then, of course, the unthinkable - a convoy of trucks misdirected - and it's happened ! So, can Oz drivers beat that ? Not sure about Oz drivers going silly distances, but there have been plenty of stories of people driving off boat ramps or into rivers, lakes or oceans over the years. There was the story of the 80 year old granny who missed her turn and kept driving for 300 miles ... that was in England, though (Worcester) so may be hard even for an Australian to beat! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) I hate the Sat Nav voice always intruding - "turn left 600 metres" and so on every few seconds. That is not an issue if you are in Darwin and want to go to Adelaide. Follow Tiger Brennan Dr to National Highway 1 in Holtze 16 min (18.3 km) Continue on National Highway 1. Take National Highway 87 and National Highway A87 to Main N Rd in Adelaide 33 h (3,004 km) Take King William Rd to Victoria Square in Adelaide 10 min (3.6 km) Edited October 22, 2017 by monkeysarefun 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) Not sure about Oz drivers going silly distances, but there have been plenty of stories of people driving off boat ramps or into rivers, lakes or oceans over the years. There was the story of the 80 year old granny who missed her turn and kept driving for 300 miles ... that was in England, though (Worcester) so may be hard even for an Australian to beat! Grannies ares meticulously designed for that sort of thing as my wife will confirm where most of a two hour long journey is taken up finding her way out of the village and she's been banned for life for driving on the M25, backing up our drive and ending up in the neighbours fish pond and parking anywhere where there's only room between two cars for a block of flats. Anyway, in my wilder youth and totally pissed out of my brain, I once aimed a BMW 325 at the Isle of Raasay ferry in Scotland, missed it by a country mile and ended up in the Atlantic but don't PM my wife I told you that ! Edited October 22, 2017 by allan downes Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRman Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) One question Allan: how big was that ferry? If ti was a very small one, you might have a good excuse for missing it! My other half tends to drive past parking spots I could park the hardtop in, looking for something she can drive out of on the other side ... she drives a Nissan Micra! Edited October 22, 2017 by SRman Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 22, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 22, 2017 There's also the elderly male driver who got lost on the M25, he made nearly two circuits before he ran out of petrol. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatB Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Grannies ares meticulously designed for that sort of thing as my wife will confirm where most of a two hour long journey is taken up finding her way out of the village and she's been banned for life for driving on the M25, backing up our drive and ending up in the neighbours fish pond and parking anywhere where there's only room between two cars for a block of flats. Anyway, in my wilder youth and totally pissed out of my brain, I once aimed a BMW 325 at the Isle of Raasay ferry in Scotland, missed it by a country mile and ended up in the Atlantic but don't PM my wife I told you that ! Sorry I'm late. I missed the ferry. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsetan Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 There's also the elderly male driver who got lost on the M25, he made nearly two circuits before he ran out of petrol. I wonder what his average fuel consumption was? 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted October 23, 2017 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 23, 2017 I wonder what his average fuel consumption was? It took him a long time so his average speed was not that high. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
allan downes Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 One question Allan: how big was that ferry? If ti was a very small one, you might have a good excuse for missing it! My other half tends to drive past parking spots I could park the hardtop in, looking for something she can drive out of on the other side ... she drives a Nissan Micra! At the time. and what with double vision, I had a choice of two but missed both. The drive on ramps are about 12ft wide but disappear altogether when you're pissed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRman Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 (edited) At the time. and what with double vision, I had a choice of two but missed both. The drive on ramps are about 12ft wide but disappear altogether when you're pissed. If you could see two ramps, you had a 50% chance of getting one of them, yet you managed to miss both? Edited October 23, 2017 by SRman Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 (edited) Finally had some rain over the weekend after 79 days or something of no rain. Which made the Galahs happy because they could perch on the powerlines outside my window and wash the hard to reach bits under their wings. And drove into my kitchen the first Huntsman I've seen this year so far. Edited October 23, 2017 by monkeysarefun 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 Thats nothing, we have a former Prime Minister famed for doing things with a dead pig. Yes, I've seen the first Episode of 'Black Mirror'! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeysarefun Posted October 23, 2017 Share Posted October 23, 2017 (edited) Then of course, we will have electricity 'savings' of $115 per annum, by 2020. Still waiting for the last promise of $500 a year, instead its gone up by much more than that. Don't hold your breath! Tonights Four Corners about the NBN rollout was particularly heartening if you are concerned about the mad skilz of our current political leaders- the 'adults' who are now in charge. You know things are rough when you start to consider a move to New Zealand.. Seriously, if I was Governor General I'd replace everyone in Canberra with these guys - they'd do a lot less damage and be much cheaper. (Or should that be 'Cheeper'? seeing that they are birds! Heh heh heh.) Fun fact - birds are left handed, hence why celebrity southpaw Paul McCartney was in a band called Wings. Edited October 23, 2017 by monkeysarefun 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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