Driving standards

[Jol Wilkinson]

The sun is out and so are the cockwombles. Here in Suffolk they have formed into three groups.

 

The Paraders in convertibles - plus some young people in loudspeaker chariots - driving around slowly so that they may be seen/heard and admired.

The Sightseers - enjoying the views but not always looking at the road.

The VIPs - who need to drive fast because they have somewhere to get to.as soon as possible.

 

I would have joined the paraders, but "A" couldn't get the MGB out of the garage owing to inconsiderate neighbours, and "B" no one would admire me anyway.

[peanuts]

this made me chuckle

 

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

 

 

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

 

 

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

 

 

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

 

 

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

 

 

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

 

 

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

 

 

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

 

 

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

 

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

 

 

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

 

 

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

 

 

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

 

 

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

 

 

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

 

 

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

 

AND THE WINNER IS....

 

 

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

[PhilJ W]

this made me chuckle

 

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

 

 

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

 

 

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

 

 

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

 

 

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

 

 

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

 

 

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

 

 

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

 

 

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

 

 

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

 

 

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

 

 

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

 

 

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

 

 

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

 

 

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

 

 

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

 

AND THE WINNER IS....

 

 

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

That is obviously American in origin but British officers can be just as witty, this is one of my favourites. An officer pulled over a cocky young driver in a fancy car for a traffic offence and was letting him off with a warning, the drivers response was 'Well sh1t happens.' The officer booked him straight away telling him 'Sh1t happens every time if your an @rsehole.'

[Enterprisingwestern]

Many years ago, in the days of Vauxhall Cavalier repmobiles, a colleague of mine was stopped on the M5 one typical yukky, wet and windy dark November friday night whilst on his way home to Bristol.

The police car pulled up behind him on the hard shoulder, and out got the officer in full foul weather gear beckoning my colleague to join him at the rear of the Cavalier. Of course, bedecked only in shirt and suit trousers, his jacket hanging in true rep fashion behind the drivers seat, he was somewhat exposed to the elements, in complete contrast to the police officer.

Whilst at the rear of the car the officer bade him to kneel down and look underneath his car. I've just followed you for a few miles and thought I saw something hanging underneath your car sir, said he in pleasant police speak, can you see anything at all under there? When my colleague answered in the negative, the officer said "Oh, I'm sorry, it must have been your right foot, drive a bit slower for the rest of journey"

With that he wheeled away back to his patrol car leaving my somewhat saturated and weatherbeaten colleague to rue the error of his ways.

 

Mike.

[PatB]

Many years ago, in the days of Vauxhall Cavalier repmobiles, a colleague of mine was stopped on the M5 one typical yukky, wet and windy dark November friday night whilst on his way home to Bristol.

The police car pulled up behind him on the hard shoulder, and out got the officer in full foul weather gear beckoning my colleague to join him at the rear of the Cavalier. Of course, bedecked only in shirt and suit trousers, his jacket hanging in true rep fashion behind the drivers seat, he was somewhat exposed to the elements, in complete contrast to the police officer.

Whilst at the rear of the car the officer bade him to kneel down and look underneath his car. I've just followed you for a few miles and thought I saw something hanging underneath your car sir, said he in pleasant police speak, can you see anything at all under there? When my colleague answered in the negative, the officer said "Oh, I'm sorry, it must have been your right foot, drive a bit slower for the rest of journey"

With that he wheeled away back to his patrol car leaving my somewhat saturated and weatherbeaten colleague to rue the error of his ways.

 

Mike.

 

Ah, a proper, old-school traffic cop. I've been grateful for the existence of such once or twice in my youth .

[Baby Deltic]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/helmet-camera-cyclist-thinks-hes-judge-dredd-20160218106352

[chris p bacon]

So for todays instalment of bad driving.  I give you an 8M wide road on a clear sunny day with enough room for 4 vehicles.

 

Park a bright red truck in front of the gateway and add a driver who either isn't spatially aware of his vehicle, or has his mind on other things.

 

A couple of days ago, I parked outside my house and walked around the back of the truck to drop something indoors, I walked up the drive opened the door and when I got to the kitchen heard the loudest noise I've heard for a long time. It seems a Peugot had driven into the back of the truck at 30mph with no attempt to brake. The truck had ridden up onto the roof of the car (The gouge in the roof is the bed of the truck and the hole in the bonnet is the rear wheel) it then launched the truck across the pathway and into the wall.

 Weighing 2 tons and with the brakes on the truck travelled 22 feet and was only stopped by the pier & railings.

As I ran straight back out to the scene and seeing the state of the car I was expecting to see someone in a very bad way*. As I put my head through the passenger window the driver was sat looking dazed and confused but without any visible injury.  Luckily my neighbour was at home and he was first at the drivers door while I 999'd,  and after a wait of 1 Hour and 20 Minutes an ambulance arrived !!!

 

The thing about the accident that's p'eed me off is not that the driver hit my vehicle (it's just metal) or that he maybe shouldn't actually be on the road (age) but that the CCTV I have on the yard picks up his car passing my neighbours wall and 2 vehicles directly behind him. As I ran out those vehicles then drove around the collision and drove away without stopping to give assistance or to say what they saw. Heartless B*stards! Without my neighbour being at home and a driver stopping some time after it happened I would have been on my own while countless vehicles just drove past getting agitated with having to wait.

 I've called at his home to see how the driver is but as yet haven't found out.

 

* Have to say that having been on the scene of suicides in my younger days, I've not slept much since because of what I thought I might find.

[Horsetan]

....As I ran out those vehicles then drove around the collision and drove away without stopping to give assistance or to say what they saw. Heartless B*stards! ....

Most drivers don't want to get involved in other drivers' problems, in much the same way that people pass by a stabbing on the street.

 

I'd be interested to know what caused the Peugeot to not see a truck parked in front of them, though. It takes some doing to go into the back of it at up to 30mph without pressing the brake pedal.

Edited May 12, 2017 by Horsetan

[Guest]

The thing about the accident that's p'eed me off is not that the driver hit my vehicle (it's just metal) or that he maybe shouldn't actually be on the road (age) but that the CCTV I have on the yard picks up his car passing my neighbours wall and 2 vehicles directly behind him. As I ran out those vehicles then drove around the collision and drove away without stopping to give assistance or to say what they saw. Heartless B*stards!

 

When I got rammed up the chuff at the back of a queue I valiantly steered around the car in front and slid along the grass verge (I don't normally go there). The car formerly in front then simply buggered off. I was more annoyed with him than the bloke who actually hit me.

 

My car now has permanently running front & rear dash cams. It would have been interesting to see if there was a phone in view in this case.

[chris p bacon]

I'd be interested to know what caused the Peugeot to not see a truck parked in front of them, though. It takes some doing to go into the back of it at up to 30mph without pressing the brake pedal.

The driver is ......elderly......I think that spatial awareness of the width of the car is not a strong point, look at the scrapes down the passenger side door and rear panel, that's not my truck.

 

 It would have been interesting to see if there was a phone in view in this case.

No phone,  we checked.

 

I think he just drove along the road and completely misjudged his road position. He was returning from picking up the car at a local garage after having a drivers side mirror fitted which had been knocked off the previous week. 

[Horsetan]

......I think that spatial awareness of the width of the car is not a strong point...

That could be said of a great many drivers these days, and they're not all elderly.

 

This morning I followed a Vauxhall Meriva (quite a tall, narrow car) as it straddled the dividing line on a street wide enough for two cars to pass. The smaller the car, the more ridiculous the straddling.

[kevinlms]

The driver is ......elderly......I think that spatial awareness of the width of the car is not a strong point, look at the scrapes down the passenger side door and rear panel, that's not my truck.

 

No phone,  we checked.

 

I think he just drove along the road and completely misjudged his road position. He was returning from picking up the car at a local garage after having a drivers side mirror fitted which had been knocked off the previous week. 

Its looking like the driver should be reviewing whether to hand in the licence. Perhaps a significantly damaged car, will make that choice easier.

[chris p bacon]

Its looking like the driver should be reviewing whether to hand in the licence. Perhaps a significantly damaged car, will make that choice easier.

From the Police at the scene I have a feeling that may be the case.

 

As for the car ............a new washing machine coming to you..... My truck is most likely going to be purchased for spares & export

[PhilJ W]

Its looking like the driver should be reviewing whether to hand in the licence. Perhaps a significantly damaged car, will make that choice easier.

If his insurance company doesn't get there first.

[Horsetan]

....slid along the grass verge (I don't normally go there). ....

 

No, but we know someone who does. 

[TheQ]

I've ben hit from behind twice,

 Once in Chester, causing me no damage to me but my tow bar went through their radiator.

 Once in Stalham, where a Moped on L plates carrying a passenger hit the back of my Landrover, again no damage to me. They weren't happy the two teenage girls when I pointed out they had no insurance, because learner can't carry passengers....

[Enterprisingwestern]

I've only been hit from behind once, by a boy racer in a spoiler and flared wheel  arch bedecked Corsa. He ran into my Hyundai panel van which had rear access steps which bolted on to the tow bar ball bracket and protruded a little.

I now know how to remove a complete set, front to back, of Corsa fibre glass panels without any damage to myself.

 

Mike.

[Penlan]

The driver is ......elderly......I think that spatial awareness of the width of the car is not a strong point, 

As others have said, not all elderly, for in west Cornwall, it's mostly the visitors

and our narrow lanes with passing places, even in the villages, seems to baffle them.

One has the impression they believe their cars are at least a metre wider than they are.....

 .... and of course they are BIG cars and new, where'as they locals seem to have reliable, older cars.. 

[Mark Saunders]

After driving home today I have came to the conclusion that I am not paranoid; they are all really out to get me!

[peanuts]

From the Police at the scene I have a feeling that may be the case.

 

As for the car ............a new washing machine coming to you..... My truck is most likely going to be purchased for spares & export

just a point that is not a "truck " it is what is known in the trade as a "puddle jumper " 

[Norm81]

As I ran out those vehicles then drove around the collision and drove away without stopping to give assistance or to say what they saw. Heartless B*stards! Without my neighbour being at home and a driver stopping some time after it happened I would have been on my own while countless vehicles just drove past getting agitated with having to wait.

Could be they've had a previous experience like I have, where they have stopped to help and when the police arrive have accused them of involvement or causing the accident. I had to argue my way out of that so never again I'm afraid. If it looks serious I'll pull in further down and 999 it in though.

 

I did once witness a broken down van holding up rush hour traffic near my work when I was cycling in with all the cars just driving round him so got off and helped him push, it was a bit "secret samaritan" as I think he just thought he eventually got it rolling and never saw me at the back of the van.

[Horsetan]

As others have said, not all elderly, for in west Cornwall, it's mostly the visitors

and our narrow lanes with passing places, even in the villages, seems to baffle them.

One has the impression they believe their cars are at least a metre wider than they are........

Spatial awareness, and the lack of it, affects ability to park within a marked bay:

 

[kevinlms]

Spatial awareness, and the lack of it, affects ability to park within a marked bay:

 

IMG_20170510_150602.jpg

At least the colour matches! It is difficult to tell, but the space does look rather narrow, but it could be an illusion.

[Baby Deltic]

After driving home today I have came to the conclusion that I am not paranoid; they are all really out to get me!

Speaking of paranoia on a more serious note, I didn't realise the sort of social issues paranoid people have in every day life. Last Christmas, with this in mind, a group of us organised a pantomime just for paranoid people so they could come along and have a fun evening and meet similar people and share experiences afterwards. Anyway, the pantomime gets under way and everyone is having a great time with the "oh no it isn't, oh yes it is" routine, then one of the actors shouts "he's behind you!" Chaos breaks out in the audience. Never again!

Edited May 13, 2017 by Baby Deltic

[Baby Deltic]

Spatial awareness, and the lack of it, affects ability to park within a marked bay:

IMG_20170510_150602.jpg

Definitely material for YPLAC.com, if you ask me. Edited May 13, 2017 by Baby Deltic